a day in the life of zoe.

mini rant

2011-03-20T12:54:00.002Z

right, so that so obviously wasn't aimed at all the people you call your friends was it?

you're a pretty big hypocrite tbh. there is so much i want to write in this post but i am not going to because it is pointless.

but if you really think that about us+our actions dont be friends with us, i do what i want because i'm only 15, therefore i dont have to be mature+settling down and all of that. you're never gonna get your teenage years again, so frankly i'm doing what i want. which does involve drink, drugs+sex, and all the other stuff you seem to look down upon us for. and frankly, i'd rather be out having a good time and doing things for me.

2011-02-28T20:13:00.001Z

yeah but you see i just dislike people.

2011-02-27T21:15:00.000Z

here i am. maybe. im writing on here because i never do anymore+i dont want to write on tumblr.

i write a lot of letters these days; so im gonna do some on here, no names though.

person 1.
i'm so so proud of you. it's all big and scary and strange, but it's good because everything will be okay. i'll be there for you through it all; i promise.

person 2.
all these little things you do annoy me. then you blame stuff on me when it's your own fault. you can be incredibly self centred; the world does not revolve around your little arse. not everyone has to bow down at your feet. how can i trust you when you're so two faced? and act like everything is disgusting and that growing up is wrong. sorry i grew up.

person 3.
i miss you. why is stuff going wrong?

person 4.
you're a bit of a bitch aren't you. fine don't listen to me; it'll be you who loses out in the long run. HA. so, when you get fucked over, i hope you wish you'd listened. or you dont wish that and just feel completely shit.

person 5.
nothing else matters huh? conceited.

long time no see

2010-09-13T22:31:00.000+01:00

i was reading all my old blogs on here.
a lot has changed since i last blogged, tbh i use tumblr now.
im sitting here in candlelight needing a pee, and wanting some noms. everyones gone to watch inbetweeners but i can't. so i'l watch it on 4od, but that'll be after everyones seen it :(

i looked at all my old posts, theres alot of my life from earlier this year and last year blogged on here. and a lot about glen, being referred to as 'cunt' a lot. it was kind of nice in a weird way reading up about that time of my life. i still think you're a cunt, just not to me anymore. to one of my best friends instead. WOOP DE WOOP. lol, it was strange rereading about how upset i was. they crying and anger and hate feels like so long ago now.

i'm year 11 now, top of the school :') part from the sixth formers, but unlike when i was year 7/8 i now know a lot of them ;D i hate the year 8's. the year 7's are okay atm, they're so cute. today one came up to me and asked me where a room was :') CUTEST VOICE EVER. i miss being her age :'( this year whatever on the bus today was so fucking loud. so i told him to shut up. and he said to me 'why dont you fucking shit up?' i mean wth. i wasnt even talking and shouting so the whole bus wanted me to get off the bloody bus. secondly what a great comeback. get back to preschool and learn some manners jerk.

i want to be bought flowers. and my pencil case is broke, ima have to sew it back together. fml, so much effort!

i got gloves today. also im cold, stupid winter. late summer fete? our school is stupid. GET US DECENT PLANNERS. no-ones gonna be there, i have better things to do on a saturday:L
NIGHT BITCHES.

funny how these are all i do on here now :L

2010-07-17T23:00:00.000+01:00

1. Who was your last text from?
karnn

2. Where was your default picture taken
biggin hill, THE TANK. woooo *cheers immaturely*

3. Your relationship status?
iar pretty much

4. Have you ever lost a close friend?
i've drifted from people /:

5. What is your current mood?
pretty kk, in dire need of sleeps

6. How many siblings do you have?
1

7. Whats your brother(s)/sister(s) names?
steph

8. Where do you wish you were right now?
exactly where i am, in bed :P

9. Have a crazy side?
oui

10. Ever had a near death experience?
er, not in particular, but i probably have had situations that i could have diedit

11. Something you do a lot?
SLEEP

12. Angry at anyone?
not really

13. What are your plans for today?
well its 22.49 so today only contains another hour and eleven minutes, when i've done this im gonna go bed. exciting!

14. When was the last time you cried?
that stupid beer bottle. yeah then

15. Is there anyone you would do anything for?
im not sure, i dont dwell on such things

16. What do you think about when you are falling asleep?
my day, scary things, situations, what i wanna say to people, etc

17. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
i deleted all my call logs recently, all i have on there is one to glen, but that wasnt me so it doesnt really count

18. What is your favorite song?
you and me - lifehouse

19. What are you doing right now?
this, and talking

20. Who do you trust right now?
my close friends, and my parents

21. Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
its just a random sleepy top from primark

22. Have you kissed someone in the past week?
yes,
owain will be annoyed at me D:

23. Who is your friend that lives closest to you?
jakey ;D

24. Describe your life in one word?
annoying

25.Who are you thinking of right now?
my sister, her tv is loud and i need to tell her to stfu cos im going bed soon.

26. What should you be doing right now?
nothing, sleeping?

27. What are you listening to?
im not :( im in bed and didnt take my harddrive

28. Who was the last person who gave you a hug?
karnn

29. Who was the last person who yelled at you?
er, my dad

30. Do you act differently around the person you like?
not really actually, its simpler that way

31. What is your natural hair color?
dark blonde

32. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
my mother, i got home and she'd randomly brought me this little spongebob ball from morrisons for no reason :') lol

33. Who was the last person to make you sad?
mrs holmes, telling me i was the biggest dissapointment D: badtimes.

34. What do you hear?
my sisters telly :@

35. Is your hair curly or straight?
it depends what mood its in
that sounds weird but it actually does change

36. Has anyone ever called you "scrumptious" before?
LOL, scrumptious. surprisingly, no.. :L

37. Do you have a best friend?
a few ;D

38. Held hands with the opposite sex in the past 3 days?
oui! yeah mrs holmes i am so not a dissapointment, look at my french skills! ;D

39. Do you use smiley faces on the computer?
yes :P

40. Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
yes, more when i was younger than now though

41. Are you happy with life right now?
even when im not i try not to be a misery, there really is no point anyway
but right now im pretty happy with life

42. Are you currently jealous?
of some stuff i'm always jealous, but not specifically right now

43. What jewelery are you currently wearing?
my watch and some earrings, im about to go bed

44. What are you doing on friday night?
friday night was last night, but next friday night is THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGHT OF THE SUMMER WOOOOOOO, i dont have plans D:

45. Have you ever had your heart broken?
i thought so. :( but i dont spend time thinking about how shit i felt back then

46. Have you ever broken someone's heart?
i doubts it

47. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
er, not really

48. What was the last reason you went to the doctor for?
WORST STOMACH CRAMPS EVER. D: horrible times. got some yellow pills, nomnomnonom

49. How late did you stay up last night and why?
i slept little bits, then went to bed properly at 4
and cos we was watching movies and shizzle

50. Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
no

boreddd

2010-07-13T22:23:00.000+01:00

Do you think if you died, that the last person you kissed would even care?
i hope so

Let me guess, your last incoming call was from the opposite sex?
yes diljit rung me accidentally on science lol

Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with an D?
non

Do you have anything that belongs to an ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
yes

Where did you get that shirt you're wearing?
matt made it for me:P

You just took 15 shots of vodka, what are you doing?
tripping a lot, getting urges to run and roll and jump etc, getting off with random people, then falling asleep in a strange position

Is there a difference between "I love you" and "I'm in love with you?"
yes!

Do you believe in second chances?
i used too, now im more cautious. but yes.

Do you currently have a hickey?
no. but i have an ulcer on my tongue that hurts :(

Has anyone told you they don't wanna ever lose you?
possibly, not sure

Do you want to get married and have children one day?
hmm.

Are you an alcoholic?
no.

Does anyone call you babe or baby?
not really. only people who do it to everyone lol

Do you want to please everyone?
i try, and fail.

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
impatience

Do you like beer?
yes

Do you have any tattoos?
i wish :(

When's the next time you will be getting piercings?
when i decide the time to get my belly done is now ;D

Are you wearing shoes right now?
bare foot, pjs

Do you feel like anyone is playing mind games with you right now?
actually not really , little bit on some people

Are you the kind of person who has crazy mood swings?
sometimes

How long is it until your birthday?
about 10 months

How old is your youngest sibling?
me :( 15

Do you bite your nails?
no, i stopped :) *proud*

How many baby showers have you been to?
none D:

What color is your shirt?
white

Would you rather be single or taken?
depends, single is easier, but taken is nicer.

Do you wear converse?
i dont own any :( someday i'l get round to buying some haha

Where do you want to live?
anywhere where i can have a bigger bedroom!

Have you ever kissed someone that was married?
no, im 15! jeesh

How many times a day do you crack your neck?
never! how do you even do that?

Have you ever painted a room?
wallpapered

Is English your first language?
tis tis

What's better: cookie dough or brownie batter?
brownie batter!

Tell me about the most recent dream you remember?
erm, i cant remember any at this point lol!

Do you go to church?
rarely

Do you like the smell of rubber cement?
no

How late did you stay up last night and why?
like 11? i'd had a 3 hour nap when i got home lol

What woke you up this morning?
phone

Do you wear bracelets?
no

What made you laugh the hardest today?
english :')

Do you play with fire?
when im bored

When did you last feel "not good enough"?
not for a while now :)

What song are you listening to?
chasing cars (live)

When was the last time you danced?
at wills, doing mine and katherines lil gay dances :')

What's the last thing you drew on yourself or someone else?
'i'll move to paris shoot some heroin and fuck with the stars' on my armxD

What's one thing you'd like to know about your future?
am i successful?

If you could, would you look at your future self?
yes!

You get on a bus, do you choose to sit on the left or right?
either, but always with a button right in front

Do you hate it when people play their music too loud?
i get annoyed when they play it without earphones

Can you go a day without thinking about the person that's on your mind now?
no

What ruined your day today?
the tongue ulcer!

Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
average:P

Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to?
YES

Are you a jealous person?
yes :/

Have you cried this week at all?
erm, i tried to make myself cry for some perfomance, couldnt :P

Are there some songs you can't listen to because they remind you of someone?
i have songs that remind me of people, i can listen to them

Did you sleep alone last night?
yes

Finish the sentence, school...
bores me, but i have art tomorrow ;D

Has anyone put their arms around you in the past 5 days?
yeeees, joe/dan for tv+film, jordan, karnn, niall, people i cant remember, etcetc

Will you be sleeping alone tonight?
yes

When's the last time someone told you "someone would be lucky to have you?"
never.

Do you think anyone has you on their mind?
possibly the people i am talking to?

Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
yes

Have you ever made out with someone who has tattoos?
*thinks* no

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
kinda

Has anyone ever played you?
yes.

Last restaurant you went to?
burger king with matt! :L and the toilets in bartellas, how erotic

Does anyone have feelings for you?
yes

What would you say if someone asked you out right now?
im guessing no..

What was the last thing you purchased for someone?
i bought katherine food and cinema tickets{:

Will this weekend be a good one?
should be :)

Do you cry often?
more than i used to..

Who was the last person to tell you they love you?
maddie

When is the next time you'll talk on the phone?
erm, whenever i gotta ring someone?

Did you date anyone over the summer?
last summer? yeeeah

Ever deleted someone off of myspace?
yes, random pepole

Would you eat a live tarantula for $1,000?
live? wouldnt it bite me or sometihng? yeah i'd rather live tbh

This time last year, do you remember who you liked?
yes, glen /: how things change

Are there certain things that can't be joked about with you?
not really

How many piercings do you have?
my ears

Where is the furthest place you've traveled?
france

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with an R, D, G, J?
2/4 of em
congrats to me eh!

When a friend walks out of your life, do you go after them or let them go?
let them go if they want to, unhappily

Who are you closest to, mom or dad?
mum

Who would you like to see right now?
erm, jeremy clarkson<3

Do you believe in true love?
no

How many times have you dyed your hair?
0

Is it okay to kiss people when you're in a relationship?
i'd say if you're drunk and its a kissing game or something, but not to go round kissing everyone

Have you ever been so hurt that you wanted to stop feeling completely?
yes, *glares*

If you were kicked out of your home, who would you call?
rosie, she'd let me stay :)

hound of the baskervilles

2010-06-30T19:57:00.002+01:00

im really not liking this essay. and the fact that my teacher has left for a nice little holiday in france, while leaving, and expecting, us to write the essay by ourselves. and not making that slideshow available.
after going through what we needed to write far too fast to write down, and then when we ask to make the slideshow available to us. you just pretended you didn't hear us. and now i really need it. this essay is hard, and i'm not really sure anything i'm writing is valid. plus, i'm not writing enough. i think i'l be done by 2 pages, and thats really not long enough is it? yet you'll say that, and expect me to make it longer, but not explain what with. its all well and good saying what is the effect of this? i dont know! and there isnt one anyway, the author writes because they write, they dont write every word with analytical meaning. stupid.

when i barely scrape a c in this essay, dont blame me.

im ill, im bored k?

2010-06-28T21:20:00.000+01:00

100 Truths! After you've filled this out, tag people and have them do the same.

1. Last beverage? wa-ter
2. Last phone call? madison
3. Last text message? 'Lol no the most of a book ive read were the asterix comics, ive seen like half hour of the movie but i feel asleep'
4. Last song you listened to? your love is my drug- ke$ha
5. Last time you cried? when chris threw a beer bottle at my face.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice? yupooooo
7. Been cheated on? i believe now
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? YES.
9. Lost someone special? yes
10. Been depressed? yes
11. Been drunk? yes, frequently these days

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. teal
13. green
14. orange

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends? yuppos
16. Fallen out of love? yes, fortunately
17. Laughed until you cried? all the time. haha
18. Met someone who changed you? yes
19. Found out who your true friends were? i guess, though i knew before
20. Found out someone was talking about you? yes, a few times
21. Kissed anyone on your tagged list? quite a few, oh dear oh dear, note to self; do not kiss people at parties, ever.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? all of them except a few
23. How many kids do you want to have? none+
24. Do you have any pets? fred <3 <3 <3
25. Do you want to change your name? no, how confusing that would be
26. What did you do for your last birthday? went to camer with people
27. What time did you wake up today? 7
28. What were you doing at midnight last night? trying to sleep, fail
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for? the end of this.
30. Last time you saw your father? this morning
31. What is 1 thing you wish you could change about your self? theres a lot
32. What are you listening to right now? bring me home - the morning of
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yeaaaaas
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? nothing really
36. Whats your real name? zoe king
38. Zodiac sign? taurus
39. Male or female? female
41. Middle School? new ash green
42. High school? me-o-fam
43. Hair color? dark blonde
44. Long or short? long
45. Height? 5"5
46. Have a crush on someone? crush lol
47. What do you like about yourself ? the tan im working on;D
48. Piercings? ears
49. Tattoos? none
50. Righty or lefty? righty

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery? never
52. First piercing? ears
53. First tattoo? never D:
54. First best friend? rosie{:
55. First sport you joined? netbaaaall
56. First pet? fred:)
57. First vacation remembered? wales
59. First crush? i have no idea haha

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating? feta cheese salad
62. Drinking? wa-ter
63. I'm about to? switch the tab to facebook
64. Listening to? if you wanted a song written about you all you had to do was ask - mayday parade
65. Waiting for? er, nothing

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? : no
67. Want to get married? depends
68. Careers in mind? design

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes? eyes
70. Hugs or kisses? hugs
71. Shorter or taller? taller
72. Older or Younger? older
73. Romantic or spontaneous? romantic
74. Nice stomach or nice arms? nice stomach
75. Tattoos or piercings? tattoos
76. Sensitive or loud? sensative
77. Hook-up or relationship? relationship i guess?
78. Trouble maker or hesitant? hesitant

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger? kind of
80. Drank hard liquor? no
81. Lost glasses/contacts ? i lost my yellow heart glasses :(
82. Sex on first date? no
83. Broken someone's heart? i doubt it
84. Had your own heart broken? sort of
85. Been arrested? no
86. Turned someone down? yes
87. Cried when someone died? yeah
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself? no
90. Miracles? no
91. Love at first sight? no
92. Heaven? yes
93. Santa Claus? no
94. Kissing on the first date? no

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? no
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? no
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? yes
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? water.
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? meh

2010-06-28T18:56:00.000+01:00

Do you have a wireless keyboard and mouse?
i did, the keyboard never worked and i spilt pepsi on the mouse, mybad

Last sporting event you watched on tv or in person?
the football at wills house haha :')

Do you like it when toothpaste bubbles in your mouth?
toothpaste bubbles, wtf, since when?!

Do you believe that the world is gonna end at 2012?
no, rosie explained why to me, and i dont believe it will

How many songs are on your iPod or MP3 Player?
100ish?

Have you ever made your own survey?
no :L

Can you swear inside your house?
yes

Have you ever had a pet goldfish?
nope :(

What is the most overrated thing in your opinion?
the jonas brothers

Does being in love make you gain weight?
noooooo, i'd say it makes you lose weight more lol

Dumbest person you know? and why?
watkins :')

Do your parents have home videos of you as a kid?
there are pictures, but not videos

How old is your oldest cousin?
20 something

If you HAD to get a tattoo, where and what would it be?
something i'd designed myself, probably on my shoulder, or on my belly (although this is probably a bad idea, stretch much?) so probably my shoulder

Do you think Obama has tried drugs?
probably, at some point

What color is your bra or boxers?
my bras black

Do you have a picture with your middle finger up?
i dont think so

When is the last time you went to a birthday party?
keirans, 5th june {:

Who/what is the best thing to happen to you this year so far?
no idea

How long have you lived in the house you live in?
my whole life, 15 years ish ;D

Do you read a newspaper daily?
no haha

Anything your really afraid of?
loud noises always get me D: thats it really

Do you read tabloids?
no

Have you ever had a really bad haircut?
i dont think so

Do you like your peanut butter crunchy or creamy?
i dont like peanut butter at all

What is the scariest movie you've ever seen?
i have no idea, its strange but one that actually scared me was jeepers creepers 2, which looking back on is lame ;D the human centipede was pretty creepo, and the rest didnt really effect me

Have you ever ridden a skateboard?
yes, im giving up though because i suck badly

Do you drink enough water on a daily basis?
yes, water<3

Would you burn the American flag for a million dollars?
yeah, anyday haha, id be set for life pretty much, all for burning a flag

The main thing you cant leave your house without?
phone, ipod, purse

When was the last time you read a book?
im reading one atm, always have one on the go

Where did you get that shirt you're wearing?
yog last year xD

Do you play pranks on April Fools Day?
if the oppurtunity presents itself hehe

What is on your bed right now?
duvet, pillows, toys, ipod, phone, clothes

When was the last time you threw up?
very close to today, but not since i puked up mucus a while ago

Are you single?
not really

How long have you been together or single?
its complicated to explain, haha

What's your favorite word or phrase?
when im drunk i tell people to fuck off a lot
but i love saying loads of stuff

Name 3 people who made you smile today?
rosie, my mother, karnn

What were you doing at 8 am this morning?
laying in bed trying to find a position that stopped the painfulness, then the drugs kicked in hehe

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
talking to people, tagging yog pics

What is your favorite holiday?
i dont have one really/:

Have you ever been to another country?
yesio

What is the last thing you said aloud?
'mister'

What is the best ice cream flavor?
CHOCOLATE FUDGE BROWNIE. <3

What was the last thing you had to drink?
-creepy german accent-
wa-ter.

What are you wearing right now?
denim shorts and yog top

What was the last thing you ate?
pizza and chips, cos im blates healthy

Have you bought any new clothing items this week?
ive ordered two tops and a pair of boots, not here yet ¬¬

When was the last time you ran?
yesterdaaaaaaay, i ran away

If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?
somewhere nice

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on myspace?
no-idea, i dont go on myspace a lot

Ever go camping?
quite a few times actually, the most recent was okay i guess

Do you have a tan?
i've put a lot of effort in, and i can say im sort of tanned :)

Have you ever lost anything down a toilet?
bracelets hairties, etc

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot?
yesssss

Do you drink your soda from a straw?
occasionally, if straws are available :P

What did your last text message say?
'Omg a cow ahhh'
-matt
:')

Are you someone's best friend?
yeprrrrprpr

What are you doing tomorrow?
school, and walktallio's

Where is your mom right now?
downstairs
*mum

Look to your left, what do you see?
the door

What color is your watch?
black and white, it sounds boring but i love it :)

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
kangaroos
'do you wanna buy a kangaroo, or a didgerydoo?'

Ever ridden on a roller coaster?
yes, but not the really big ones, they are scary D:

What is your birthstone?
emerald<3

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive tthru?
i've never gone through a drive through haha

Do you have any friends on myspace that you actually hate?
not on myspace

Do you have a dog?
nope

Last person you talked to on the phone?
t'was maddie, when she walked off randomly

Any plans today?
sims, dinner, bath, bed

Are you happy?
pretty much, except you, *glares at body*

Where are you right now?
in my room

Biggest annoyance in your life right now?
being a woman, the general menstrual cycle, cramps

Last song listened to?
levi song-seasick steve+the level devils

Last movie you saw?
the simpsons movie?
or if in the cinema, probably how to train your dragon{:

Are you allergic to anything?
erm, not yet..

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
i dont really wear specific shoes, it varies

Are you jealous of anyone?
many many people

Are you married?
to maddie <3

Is anyone jealous of you?
i doubt it, muchily

Do you eat healthy?
sometimes haha

What do you usually do during the day?
school, sleep

Do you hate anyone right now?
yes.

Do you use the word 'hello' daily?
obviously, who never says hello?

How many kids do you want when you're older?
i dont want kids tbh

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
16

How did u get one of your scars?
chicken pox¬_¬

updatings on this years aims ;D

2010-06-24T21:09:00.000+01:00

so we're about halfway through the year, lets see how im doing.

~~get some boots~~ (and getting a second pair!(A) )
keep my 'book' up for at least 4 months, if not the whole year. this will never happen, i stopped when i hated glen haha
~~get a photo album~~
~~& get a load of photos developed~~
read all the house of night books (im pretty close, 2nd to last atm ;D
~~update my room walls~~
fill up my sketchpad
~~see a 3d film (TOY STORY PLEASETH!)~~ (AVATAR. but toy story i will too :D)
have a relationship longer that 6 months
~~change my hair again~~
~~get rechargeable batteries~~
~~see owain more, it sucks now he works saturdays :\~~ (but not enough still)
~~improve photography~~ (kinda, i dont really need to)
boy shopping, and find many numero onche's ;D
improve art + get a good grade (A)
make jack come shopping with me
~~get a keyboard~~
go ice skating
say less stupid stuff
~~new laptop, [hoping]~~
~~be in something official at walktall (pantomime/filming etc)~~
~~improve my acting/lying skilllllllz~~
achieve my end of year 10 targets
~~have 1000 songs~~ (currently 2120)
~~get a job~~
~~read the jeremy clarkson book (A)~~
have an ice age marathon
go to rosies and have a home alone marathon :P
~~more clothes? :P~~
~~stay up to date with coursework~~
make dann healthier. utter fail, hes dead.
lose a bitta weight. again fail, badly.
~~camp out over summer~~
go to broadstairs in the summer again :')
get a boots card

cold wind blows

2010-06-13T21:15:00.000+01:00

today was very unproductive yet t'was fun anyway. i actually slept quite well, was actually quite comfortable considering i wasnt in my own bed, i slept a good 4 hours {: we had 2 o'clock noms on indian food, which we ate with spoons, and then glen decided to put the action/x-men in erotic positions.. hmmmmm. :L and the rolo;) nomnomnoms.
went back up into the shag pad (which they would not let me clean..and was filthy. gah!) and fell asleep from about 3am to about 7ish? layed for a while, ate some toast + drank some apple juice, then walked into town, and (this is the amazing bit) there was a 489 just driving in! that never happens! especially on a sunday :P which was pretty lucky, i was chuffed. nearly fell asleep on the bus home though :L

after that i cotched most of the day, watched the simpsons movie and had a nice hot long bath, mmmmmmmmmmmm. then went to work, where they worked me really hard. but it was kk :') cos i get monies. and cleaning relaxes me, sorta. but it was a bit repetitive. but i like the smell of cleaning products. its a love thing for meh {:

and here i am now :)
im starting to blog on life more, cos i like doing it. even if no-one else does anymore xD
night all :)
-ps most of my blog names just come from the song name i'l be listening to at the time, cos i cba to think of a name :P

i know where i've been

2010-06-11T16:27:00.001+01:00

i've been a week back at school and im already wanting a half term. the weather has been yucky, rain rain rain. i do hate england rather a lot sometimes ¬_¬
but today was a special day in the ol' canteen, which meant i had a burger for lunch. this made me happy, because i like burgers. and the wedgies, oh they were so good.

i've been putting off sorting my wardrobe/wall/shelf/general tidying for a while now, i should get round to doing that i guess. except i cba. last night i did my coursework though. well the editing of it. this weekend i aim to try and improve it around the edges, then print it out in i.t on monday. in the class of poobum, who smells like poo. *glares*

walktall is going well, my character has such good lines :') had a chat with enzo, he says he gave it to me cos he thinks i could pull it off, :L i read between the lines and am thinking its cos im gobby. but hey, i get to tell him to 'grow a pair' anyway, so its all good ;D

tongiht i doubt i am doing anything, tomorrow i was going swimming but then kathi was 'busy' and we are going to go bluewater or something instead. i am not 100% sure. and something with matt possibly sunday, cos everyone else is practising dancing D: or maybe i'l just sleep.

tomorrow is doctor who, i hope its good. also, next years freedom passes are green! this makes me excited, im loving green. or at least it is on the picture. so hopefully it is ;) *crosses fingers*

anyway, im off to not sort out my room and wardrobe, and maybe go and have a nice game of yahtzy.

peace.

its better than being on your side

2010-06-01T22:58:00.000+01:00

you're just embaressing yourself.
stop trying to get my involved in your overexaggeration.
and stop assuming things that aren't going on because i won't tell you everything you want to know.
and thats so drastic its unbelievable. they say teenagers are overdramatic, look at that.

hmph.

half termage!

2010-05-28T16:39:00.000+01:00

it pleases me there are people like you in the world, it makes it a better place.
:D

today i had two lunches:P i had a plate of pasta which i bought myself then dan didnt eat half of his pizza+chips so i ate that then chris gave me a kitkat. i had such a food baby by then end:P but i had double p.e after so hopefully a little burned off, 'cept i didnt do a lot. well i ran about 200m. i dont like running much :D but me and maddie had a little chat whilst we were waiting for the organisey relay shit, it was good to get all that out.

you did know, im not stupid. but maybe you werent lying? you dont strike me as the dishonest type.. you're a nice'n. however it's not really your fault. i dont mind anyway, lets not drag up the past more than is neccessary here.

hello highly thinker i did not know you thought highly of me. people surprise me all the time nowadays.

my holiday plans for half term :D:D:D
friday/tonight : HUT! matts birthday, better get drawing.. wish it didnt fail.
saturday : expo, need a wig! aaaah
sunday : karnn's dwelling
monday : see my nan xD
tuesday : OWAINS, me hopes. i miss you.
wednesday : fail piss up? possibility i'l go.
thursday : emilys? possibly.
friday : empty!
saturday : keirans party then stay at emily's
sunday : stumble home. :P
monday : SLEEPAGE.

i said to maddie she could come over at some point during half term so i may have her over friday. she wanted to meet fred, apaz glen calls him fat a lot. he is going to get some beatings. *contemplates* :L

my fashionunion order get messed up. not by them but the delivery, its possible the people at the factory thingamy have tampered with it and stolen my clothes D: we got some ugly shoes and plain tops. joy. *sad face*
and i was planning on wearing them this half term.

i think im done.
no-one blogs anymore, yet they want people to blog so they can read? unfairyness :P it is strange, i was looking earlier and in jan+feb i was blogging 20+ times a month, now im doing barely 10. maybe thats a good thing? my blogs sometimes backfire:P oh well.
LATERS!

anyone listening?

2010-05-22T23:35:00.001+01:00

well that brought my mood right down/:

although i deserve it.

it felt best?

i miss stuff.

please let it be ok.

somes

2010-05-17T20:53:00.000+01:00

100 Truths! After you've filled this out, tag people and have them do the same.

1. Last beverage? tango orange
2. Last phone call? will, he rang me to find where we were xD
3. Last text message? tom, telling me his new number
4. Last song you listened to? only one final - owain lewis. one of his first song apaz:D
5. Last time you cried? a while ago.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice? indeed.
7. Been cheated on? no
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? oh god, yes. goddamn alcohol :L
9. Lost someone special? yes
10. Been depressed? yes
11. Been drunk? yes ;L

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. teal
13. green
14. orange

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends? yes, all the time xD
16. Fallen out of love? yes, *proud*
17. Laughed until you cried? regularly :L
18. Met someone who changed you? i have.
19. Found out who your true friends were? i knew already
20. Found out someone was talking about you? yes
21. Kissed anyone on your tagged list? er..yes 8)
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? 331, and before you ask, yes of course i know ash ketchum.
23. How many kids do you want to have? none/2
24. Do you have any pets? my beloved fred<3
25. Do you want to change your name? non
26. What did you do for your last birthday? camer, got drunk in a terrible way and couldnt walk
27. What time did you wake up today? 7am
28. What were you doing at midnight last night? sleepin'
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for? summer!
30. Last time you saw your father? this morn
31. What is 1 thing you wish you could change about your self? my nose
32. What are you listening to right now? lions and tigers - asobi seksu
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? tom clark amongst some others
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? my tiredness
36. Whats your real name? zoe tamsin king
38. Zodiac sign? taurus
39. Male or female? female
41. Middle School? new ash green primary
42. High school? me o fam
43. Hair colour? dark blonde
44. Long or short? long.
45. Height? 5"5ish
46. Have a crush on someone? ish
47. What do you like about yourself? er, my lips
48. Piercings? ears
49. Tattoos? id like some xD
50. Righty or lefty? right

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery? never
52. First piercing? ears
53. First tattoo? none YET
54. First best friend? rosie ;D
55. First sport you joined? netball
56. First pet? FRED!
57. First vacation remembered? wales
58. First concert? dunno
59. First crush? no idea:L

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating? not
62. Drinking? not
63. I'm about to? sniffle
64. Listening to? hometown glory (high contrast remix) - adele
65. Waiting for? bedtime

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? no
67. Want to get married? someday
68. Careers in mind? interior designer, magazine editor, not sure yet

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes? eyes
70. Hugs or kisses? hugs
71. Shorter or taller? taller
72. Older or Younger? older
73. Romantic or spontaneous? romantic
74. Nice stomach or nice arms? stomach
75. Tattoos or piercings? either, just not drastically
76. Sensitive or loud? inbetween
77. Hook-up or relationship? depends on my mood
78. Trouble maker or hesitant? trouble maker

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger? kinda
80. Drank hard liquor? yeah
81. Lost glasses/contacts? dont wear them
82. Sex on first date? no
83. Broken someone's heart? possibly
84. Had your own heart broken? yes
85. Been arrested? no lol
86. Turned someone down? yeah and i hate the guilt
87. Cried when someone died? yes
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? yeah, me and my friends are all just lesbians at heart :')

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself? no
90. Miracles? mo
91. Love at first sight? no
92. Heaven? no
93. Santa Claus? no
94. Kissing on the first date? depends

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? no
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? no
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? if you're happy
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? free will
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? no ;D

here is gone

2010-05-17T18:41:00.000+01:00

you're right. somehow it is about me. how do i do this? spin webs of hurting people i never wanted to hurt?

how did this happen? im digging deep.

now i have to decide.
which will involve panic. and pain.

yay.

effing prom.

2010-05-08T00:12:00.002+01:00

awww fuck.
fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

i need people online. badly?
i should have gone to bed then this wouldnt have happened.

person #1; im not going with you, you sort of repulse me. WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME ANYWAY? oh god. you are a rapist.
person #2; if you are being serious about that i am truly going to hate myself. gaaaaaaaawd. i dont want to go at all! i will look like a fish out of water. and i wont know hardly anyone that i can talk to easily and feel not so selfconscious.
and wearing dresses makes me feel like a blob.
it's not my year, supposed to be year 11!
i would look like a fish out of water, not to mention a bit of an idiot. eurgh. how did this happen? i need to sleep on this.
god i feel like bella, maybe i should travel somewhere a long way away to go shopping. or break my leg. YES!
then i wont be able to go.
but this solution is unpractical. euuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh.

81 out of 132

2010-05-04T22:31:00.000+01:00

Key -
(X) = Yes (-)= maybe/sort of/ kinda (0) = No

Level 1
(-) Smoked A Cigarette
(0) Smoked A Cigar
(0) Kissed A Member Of The Same Sex
(X) Drank Alcohol

SO FAR: 1.5

Level 2
(X) Are / Been In Love
(X) Been Dumped
(X) Shoplifted
(X) Been Fired
(0) Been In A Fist Fight

SO FAR: 4.5

Level 4
(X) Had A Crush On An Older Person
(0) Skipped School
(0) Slept With A Co-worker
(X) Seen Someone / Something Die

SO FAR: 6.5

Level 5
(X) Had / Have A Crush On One Of Your Facebook Friends
(0) Been To Paris
(0) Been To Spain
(0) Been On A Plane
(0) Thrown Up From Drinking

SO FAR: 7.5

Level 6
(0) Eaten Sushi
(0) Been Snowboarding
(X) Met Someone BECAUSE Of Facebook (internet)
(x) Been in a Mosh Pit

SO FAR: 9.5

Level 7
(0) Been In An Abusive Relationship
(X) Taken Pain Killers
(X) Love/loved Someone Who You Cant Have
(X) Laid On Your Back And Watched Cloud Shapes Go By
(X) Made A Snow Angel

SO FAR: 13.5

Level 8
(X) Had A Tea Party
(X) Flown A Kite
(X) Built A Sand Castle
(X) Gone mudding (offroading)
(X) Played Dress Up

SO FAR: 18.5

Level 9
(X) Jumped Into A Pile Of Leaves
(X) Gone Sledging
(X) Cheated While Playing A Game
(X) Been Lonely
(X) Fallen Asleep At Work / School

SO FAR: 23.5

Level 10
(X) Watched The Sun Set
(0) Felt An Earthquake
(0) Killed A Snake

SO FAR: 24.5

Level 11
(X) Been Tickled
(X) Been Robbed / Vandalized
(0) Been cheated on
(X) Been Misunderstood

SO FAR: 27.5

Level 12
(X) Won A Contest
(0) Been Suspended From School
(X) Had Detention
(0) Been In A Car / Motorcycle Accident

SO FAR: 29.5

Level 13
(0) Had / Have/need Braces
(X) Eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(0) Danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 30.5

Level 14
(X) Hated The Way You Look
(-) Witnessed A Crime
(0) Pole Danced
(X) Questioned Your Heart
(0)Been obsessed with post-it-notes

SO FAR: 33

Level 15
(X) Squished Barefoot Through The Mud
(X) Been Lost
(0) Been To The Opposite Side Of The World
(X) Swam In The Ocean
(X) Felt Like You Were Dying

SO FAR: 37

Level 16
(X) Cried Yourself To Sleep
(X) Played Cops And Robbers
(X) Recently Colored With Crayons / Colored Pencils / Markers
(X) Sang Karaoke
(X) Paid For A Meal With Only Coins

SO FAR: 42

Level 17
(X) Done Something You Told Yourself You Wouldn't
(X) Made Prank Phone Calls
(X) Laughed Until Some Kind Of Beverage Came Out Of Your Nose
(0) Kissed In The Rain

SO FAR: 45

Level 18
(X) Written A Letter To Santa Claus
(X) Watched The Sun Set/ sun rise With Someone You Care/Cared About
(X) Blown Bubbles
(X) Made A Bonfire On The Beach or anywhere

SO FAR: 49

Level 19
(0) Crashed A Party
(0) Have Travelled More Than 5 Days With A Car Full Of People
(X) Gone Rollerskating / Blading
(X) Had A Wish Come True
(0) Been Humped By A Monkey

SO FAR: 51

Level 20
(0) Worn Pearls
(X) Jumped Off A Bridge
(X) Screamed "Penis" or "Vagina"
(0) Swam With Dolphins

SO FAR: 53

Level 22
(X) Got Your Tongue Stuck To A Pole/Freezer/ice Cube
(0) Kissed A Fish
(X) Worn The Opposite Sex's Clothes
(X) Sat On A Roof Top

SO FAR: 56

Level 23
(X) Screamed At The Top Of Your Lungs
(X) Done / ATTEMPTED A One-Handed Cartwheel
(0) Talked On The Phone For More Than 4 Hours
(0) Recently stayed Up for a while talking to someone you care about

SO FAR: 58

Level 24
(X) Picked And Ate An Apple Right Off The Tree
(X) Climbed A Tree
(X) Had/Been In A Tree House
(X) Been scared To Watch Scary Movies Alone--

SO FAR: 62

Level 25
(X) Believed In Ghosts
(0) Have had More Then 30 Pairs Of Shoes
(0) Gone Streaking-
(0) Visited Jail

SO FAR: 63

Level 26
(0) Played Chicken
(0) Been Pushed into a pool with all your clothes on
(X) Been Told You're Hot By A Complete Stranger
(0) Broken A Bone
(X) Been Easily Amused

SO FAR: 65

Level 27
(0) Caught A Fish Then Ate It Later
(0) Made A Porn Video
(0) Caught A Butterfly..
(X) Laughed So Hard You Cried
(X) Cried So Hard You Laughed

SO FAR: 67

Level 28
(X) Mooned/Flashed Someone
(X) Had Someone Moon/Flash You LOL
(X) Cheated On A Test
(X) Forgotten Someone's Name
(X) French Braided Someones Hair
(0) Gone Skinny Dipping
(0) Been Kicked Out Of Your House
(X) Tried to hurt yourself

SO FAR: 73

Level 29
(X) Rode A Roller Coaster
(X) Went Scuba-Diving/Snorkeling
(0) Had A Cavity
(X) Black-Mailed Someone
(X) Been Black Mailed

SO FAR: 77

Level 31
(X) Been Used
(X) Fell Going Up The Stairs
(0) Licked A Cat
(X) Bitten Someone
(X) Licked Someone

SO FAR: 81

Level 32
(0) Been shot at/or at gunpoint
(0) Had sex in the rain
(0) Flattened someones tires
(0) Rode your bike/Driven your car until the fuel light came on
(0) Got five pounds or less worth of fuel

TOTAL: 81

Re-post this with the title I've done 81 Out of a 132 Stupid Things

she wants to be me.

2010-05-04T15:01:00.000+01:00

IF SOMEONE ASKS 'ARE YOU OKAY?' YOU SAY:
FACK

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
broken strings

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL?
better man

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
broccolli

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
boys boys boys
oh yay.

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO
i want to hold your hand

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
bonkers

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
sad story

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
a new beginning

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR FIRST KISS?
take a bow.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
bad influence
er yeah, SHE'S the bad influence ;) ;) ;)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
dirty little secret

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
22
lol

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
the (after)life of the party

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
flourescent adolescent

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
stay with me

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
just looking

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
changes

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
i get all the girls
;)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
dance lessons

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
a hard day's night

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
she wants to be me

bad people get rocks

2010-05-02T16:07:00.000+01:00

i like rocks. they keep me down.

oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
this is bad.
i need to lock in a room and stop socialising.
OH GOD THATS BAD.

maybe the rain was Karma, biting my arse for being a drunk slut. i had fun though so im regretting NOTHING.

fuck it all. im listening to owain, im young and should just have fun. being serious isnt making me happy, so im going to live. make it fun.

ive got a lot pinned on tomorrow. i hope karma and god are behind me.

this will sort out.

just friends?

2010-04-18T21:59:00.000+01:00

is it physically impossible to be JUST friends with the opposite sex?

despite everything i know, i still say yes.
im a hypocrite sometimes.
i do it without even realising im doing it, and it still goes on when for sure im not! its why i sympathise strongly with katherine. i understand what shes on about.

worst things when you want to be just friends, oh the guilt.

its why im going to hold onto the ones i know are just friends, because then i dont have to worry and its all just a lot simpler. which is good, simple is good. :D

alright its a jammie dodger but i was told there'd be tea!

2010-04-18T20:09:00.000+01:00

so its official. thats quite ironic actually, i pictured it yes, but it's still ironic for me. my wife is going out with my ex. see? pretty ironic from where i'm standing.
tbh i don't care, just the fact that you won't be honest is what annoys me. would have been nice to hear it from the right person tbh. still my friend, you're welcome to him. don't say i didnt warn you. who knows, maybe you'll last, but don't come crying to me when he's him. good luck to you tbh, hope it works out for you because you deserve that. it's possibly he may have changed, i did know him but not now. well i thought i did, but know i don't now. hohum, things change. and when all is said and done, i've still got jeremy clarkson! waheyeheyhey;D

on another subject, i got back from norfolk and up there i had my first nando's. i failed on the subway count, even though i said i would, AND take a picture, i didnt find the subway until too late :( oh well, nando's was good ;D
i also ate bamboo. t'was chewy. AND MY FORTURE COOKIE WAS EMPTY. i'm quite worried about this, i mean; if even my forture cookies empty then what's going on with my life? does this mean i should start looking for meaning and fulfilment or just give up? hmm. oh well, the cookie tasted good anyway. heheheheheehehe.
AND I HAD MY FIRST NICKERBOCKERGLORY. that i remember. and i finished it all ;) i was proud, it was yummy, my family were surprised. well thats a lie, they knew id eat it all. ahaha.

i also got new sunglasses :D i miss my bumblebees & heart ones :( they were the best ever, because no-one else had them. :'( im such an idiot to lose them. but im hoping not too many people will have these. they are from h+m so are bound to not be unique and stuff, but you win some you lose some. i tried to get some that werent too samey, and sam said they looked good:D and i couldnt find an ugly red skirt. i mean jeesh, shops make so many ugly things when i actually need one theres NOTHING? fml. well there was one. but it was size 6. and i dont think i could get that small even if i stopped eating and stuff. and i dont wanna stop eating anyway, bwecause GOD I LOVE FOOD.

i have decided to give up fizzy drinks (unless i'm out). im very unhealthy, and i believe this is a step in the right direction.

DOCTOR WHO:D
<3
yes alright it's a jammie dodger but i was told there would be tea! god love that show.

i have lost about 3 years worth of pictures and music. my harddrive broke /:my dads going to get me another one sometime this week, but its not really about the harddrive. more what was on it. no-one else had some of them pictures, and ALL MY STOCKS AND TEXTURES. thats so many hours worth of collecting, cropping, magic wanding, searching.

i've done 2/3 of my essay, but frankly i cbb. i think whati've done is okay, and ima do it spread over the next 4 days. i'l be happy with whatever i get so long as it is c and above. hopefully a b. thats what i normally get in english {: plus mr crosdale is a pooface; 3 mymaths homeworks all on stuff we haven't done? sheesh, n00b. school tomorrow, ifi wake up. AND NO ROSIE. monday is rosie day! :'( and shes not gonna be here. damned volcano /:

time away did good, or bad depending on how i look at it. i still don't know if i should have done what i did, or whether i should have acted on what i did do. but im thinking its gonna be fine.

i don't judge you, but tbh you need to sort yourself out. its not your fault granted, but still. mmmmmmmm.

out.

kick in the balls

2010-04-06T23:13:00.001+01:00

well thats stupid. i can see pretty clearly thats not love, and saying it isnt going to make it so. i think you're stupid. what a stupid thing to say. you just dont want to because you're afraid of reactions, yes reactions and consequences. if you loved that much, it wouldnt matter. lies dont make anything better in the long run. and you're just going to be an arsehole again. its not deserved, so stop it. respect the fragileness. its viewable. all the x's in the world aren't going to make you last, it'll just go the same way. people realise in the end, it just takes a while. i have pity tbh. and empathy. i'l kill you. seriously. i dont know how you do it, but somehow you do. you dont deserve all the stuff you get. but you get it anyway. god works in mysterious ways i guess. so do the stars.

on the brighter side i had a good day today :D chatroulette was actually so funny :') except the willies. people can be sickos. :L

on a final note i've made a new pledge, i made this blog so i could rant about stuff and throw out my emotions, and thats not going to work if i rant and throw, then people ask me about it and i have to explain them. that defeats the whole object. so if people ask me im not going to explain, im keeping mystery. not because i like secrets, but because how can i rant and throw freely and utterly if i have to tell people who or what im ranting about? bear in mind. thanks dudes :D

because little chihauhau's are ridiculously cute

2010-03-30T21:30:00.000+01:00

hmm. havent blogged in a while.

i love walktall. i love everyone there. (L) :D:D:D:D

BUT
some people need to open their minds. and also some people need to not assume i like them. youre not very good at reading body signals are you? hmm. grem.
also they way im practically falling asleep in science and maths, then when i should be wanting to sleep at times like now, not tired? hohum.
my teeth feel lucky.

i didnt get indian food tonight. damn you mother, making dad change his mind. but now he owes me one cos he said 'next week'. and 'we'll see' which means she'll have forgotten about it by then so its okay (H) but i wont. i will remind him, muahaha ;D

now im just waiting i guess. for something, someone, to come along. i dont know who yet, but im sure they will. someday. if i live til im old (:|) i've got 80 odd years for that. so screw it, im living life. and i promised, id cram in as much shit as possible. i may not owe that promise, but im keeping it anyway.

anywhoo, im off to clean my teeth, pack my shiz for tomorrow (ART:D:D:D) check my deviant, and then finish watching desperate housewives series 2 episode 1. MY GOD. its all weird. and messed up. :'( damnit. SORT YOURSELVES OUT. secrets are bad guys, sort it {:

today i went to morrisons

2010-03-20T16:05:00.000Z

so i got up early this morn, and looked rather like a zombie. i went to bed last night about one, even though i didnt watch sport relief and now everyones saying stuff about it and im like I DIDNT WATCH IT :'(:'(:'( however, im gonna youtube some stuff, like the moyles part, and russell brands part (i like russell brand, mmmmmmmhmm) and james cordens. because i love him, hes hilarious:) SMITHY!<3
anyways, i went to morrisons with my mummy, and got a memory card. also i got some heat protection spray(vo5), the shockwaves hairspray rosie always talks about and some cheap mousse. BUT, to top it all off, i found DARK CHOCOLATE MICADO. yes. the best invention in the world i believe. my god. but anyway, my room is covered in all the crap i bought, (+ sugar, which had a puck poster in this month! mmmhmmmm<3<3<3) and i need to sort all that out me thinks.
i watched skins (dont read if you havent watched it yet, i dont want people angry at me), HOLY CRAP. freddie:'( nonono! eurgh im in mourning for sho'. but i love cooke. he looked fit in this episode, and i hope he killed that creepy physiatrist good n'proper like. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. if that guy kills cooke then ima complain to skins. no not reallyhaha. but my point still stands. :L their are skins auditions next month, id audition if i was old enough. i know i wouldnt get in anyway cos im not an amazing actor like most of em but it'd be nice to try. damn my birthdate. *sigh*

now i need to watch the glee i missed, forest gump, and two episodes of cleveland show. i love how they puke on the cleveland show :') it makes me laugh. laugh laugh laugh laugh.

next, ANOTHER rpatz poster in my sugar? this is ridiculous. they've now given me three. practically in a row. its ridiculous. there are other celebrities out there? and im kinda sick of taylor lautner now as well. i mean, hes fit. but id like a variety of posters please. not just taylor lautner and robert pattinson.

but i remember dear john is coming out, and nanny mcphee. id like to see them. did anyone else know channing tatum is married to the girl in step up he acted with? i didnt. JEALOUS. he is one hot tomato.

right, i need to stop writing, get onto sorting my crap out, and then playing some sims. im hooked again, ahaha.

OVER AND OUT EARTHLINGS. x

i am the happies bean in the history of beans

2010-03-15T19:42:00.000Z

today was the best day in a while, i knew it would be as soon as i woke up.

i woke up at 6, properly awake, then kind of drifted in and out for the next hour, then at 7 i was up and out of bed like speedy gonzales. sitting in the canteen with rosie+kat, i was laughing like hysterically, laughter is amazing. happyhappy. monday lessons are easy, and i wasnt tired so another good thing. :D apart from rosie being ill, which was bad obvs. assembly was boring but i drifted off into zoeworld throughout it. :P then art was good, randomly painting my book. + a weight sort of feels off my chest after today, quite a few weights actually, which im happy about. no-one likes weights :P

i want my dad to hurry home! i love my daddio, i think hes buying me a new laptop :D im so happy about that, i can sim again! and he's buying me the camera for my birthday, and the laptop for my birthday now as well, its so lovely. hes all generous :D but this is meaning i cant do expensive stuff for my birthday, which is fair fair. so i may just do camer again? not sure about that.

im in such a good mood. as soon as i woke up i knew today would be good, it did not dissapoint {: happyhappyhappy. im gonna lavish in this, cos another problems gonna come along soon as they always do. but for now its all good, so i will enjoy it while it lasts.

to rosie+kathi, get well soon homies!

had

2010-03-10T23:11:00.001Z

everything. deserved? possibly. good karma? probably not. happy times. lost. things change. stuff changes. times change. people change. bad karma? maybe. deserved? no. not that much. you? ungrateful. so nice, hiding. pretty skank. slut. but friendly. so likeable. deserving? yes. everything received, yes. dirty treatments. fighting, not good. arguments, not good. resolved? no. questions? too many. not enough aloud. open person, closed person. no-one's perfect. we strive anyway. acceptable? no, you deserve what you get. everything? pain, hurt, goodbye. selfish. wrongdoings, really. seeing wrong, doing wrong, acting wrong. wrong.

you think you know so much. you know a lot but still very little. im not stupid. no matter what everyone thinks. im not. i have a brain. it wont be deserved, no.

desperate housewives; <3 i love angie, her accent is amaaaazing. i love her character, though i do think its kind of a fill in on evie. who was just a great character, love to hate. angie is basically an evie replacement. but i still like her. her hair and her accent, yummyyummyum.

had a nap earlier, woke up about 7. now im not tired, and will probably sit in bed reading for ages. dont knock it, just when im tired tomorrow it will be a regret. but it was worth it, i was rather tired. dinner, yummy. spaghetti and meatballs; goodstuff. english tomorrow, draaaaaag. pe, basketball? i think, its meh. worst, double science, iaa. eurgh, fail at that. got it all wrong in the lesson, yeast smells. sorry, but it does. im not squeamish and can get past it but its not pleasant.

nightnightnightnightnightx

hello

2010-03-09T21:15:00.000Z

walktall was on tour (N) which made my tuesdays night draaaaaag, cos normally on this night i'd be there having fun :D but nope. ah well, art tomorrow @@ although ive kind of come to a standstill in art, its still always fun. even if ive found myself lost in it. oh well :P

also i think my camera is broken :( damn, my parents wont be happy bunnies. maybe i'l ask for one for my birthday, which is less than two months now ;D woo{:im really back into incense sticks atm, they make the room feel all warm and yummy.

aand shameless. im working my through them, im still on the first series but im loving it haha. its good. different. and the guy whos the dad, frank i think it is, well he is an amazing actor. seriously.

i am thirsty. sigh.

i am reading chosen, its good. my god. loren is a bit of an arsehole, i thought he was nice! but jeez zoey, i know you're a fictional character but you sure know how to mess up. i thought i was bad! woaa. :L but still, makes the book interesting, im addicted bei! haha.

im done.
x

do you really want to be forever young?

2010-03-04T22:28:00.000Z

i saw what bonnie put.

I want to be who I used to be.
I want to live how I use to live.
I want to have who I used to have.

i totally agree so badly. why did everything have to change? karma bites ass. people change, situations change but why can't the things you want to stay the same, well, stay the same? lifes a bitch for sure. when one door closes another one opens but what if the door didnt want to close? does it have to close so the other one gets a chance, or could it not stay open, the door to the path of the stuff that should have stayed the same? eggs have broken, omelettes are being made surely, but how long until i get to taste the eggy goodness? i want what i had then, now, and at the same time what i've got now. its all so confusing. bonnie's right ;D i want to be back young again, before everything got complicated. lifes not simple anymore. i want it to be. but that doors closed. to open the one to being grown up and mature, and learning, but i want to shut that for now and reopen the other one, but thats not possible because these doors are ~~hypothetical~~ and not actually closable or openable. hmm. too much changes in the process of growing up. change is good they say, but really, is it? if what was there before was good enough why does change have to come along and open doors that i never wanted opened?

oh you pooface stp blaming me like its my fault, you like blaming. nothings ever your fault eh slag? i havent eaten that much so the foood is there, right in front of your eyes. but no, everything for you has to be jumping up going 'HEY IM HERE!' for you to even notice it, let alone observe it. for once look for yourself. like the rest of us have to.

im ranting about silly little things now but im in that kind of mood.

am really looking forward to tomorrow ;D but the cd went weird so now ive gotta redo that, and ive still gotta revise, i should be tired by now. but im not. i need to go to bed so im bright and early for the exam, but i know if i gob ed now i'l just be lying there until im tired anyway. however i am thirsty and may go and microwave some milk, apparently thats good for helping you sleep. i did my nails with these little gem things, i cant figure out if they look okay or not.

tomorrow after school is gonna be busy busy, get home about quarter to 4, shower, out the shower by quarter past, washing up, 4.25, get ready, pack stuff, go. i better make it on time. must remember the bus is at 1753. so after a shower i gots about an hour and a half to squeeze everything in. BUT NO MORE REVISION. by then the test will be done, failed or not. sigh.

i tidied a bit today. i got rid of quite a lot of stuff which i am happy about. my shelf looks better now. but im not getting rid of clothes. i love all my clothes. and what happens when the fashions repeat themselves? yes, you didnt think of that did you? muahahahahahah?!

and they'll be sun sun sun, all over our bodies

2010-03-04T16:24:00.000Z

today the sun came out :') its been so long! i want summer please? i feel like ive been a vampire for about 4 months and i want summer so i can wear summer clothes:P

i am going to clear out my room. i need to get rid of some stuff for sure, just gotta decide what now ;D tomorrow i have a science exam :| but then katarinas birthday! man i am looking forward to that, been looking forward to it all week.

generally today was a good day :D
x

arse

2010-03-01T22:06:00.000Z

its none of your business what im doing. i dont know where you get your information from or whatever but who are you to judge my actions? not only do you have no idea what youre talking about but you also have no right to jump to conclusions. im none of your business now, so fuck off, thanks.

secondly that is a huge relief. thank god. i feel like a weight has been completely lifted off my shoulders and now i dont have so many problems bombarding me at once. phew.

i did some revision tonight, im starting to feel a tiny bit confident about this test which is good :D tomorrow i have walktall which always makes me happy so im looking forward to that {:

currants

2010-02-28T22:02:00.000Z

had a rather good day {:
went to the bus stop at the wrong time (well done zoe, really), cos i lokoed at the 489 page by accident, :P so got the 489 to gravesend then it was raining and the route planner thingy wouldnt work because of the stupid rain. and then my umbrella broke, :( but finally we got on the sort of right bus (wrong because we shouldnt have had to get it in the first place, right cos it actually got us where we were wanting to go). then got off at 'dovedale' WHICH WAS RIGHT. and saw owain, and had to concentrate really hard whilst walking because otherwise my texting would have gone weird, dear oh dear.
spent the day revising, playing sonic, getting tickled and sat on and talking. and eating pizza, the pizza had this garlic and herb dip thing for the crusts, which had a nice aftertaste. the pizza was yummy. but kathi kept trying to steal the wedges, which got the 'i hate the way girls try and steal your food' rant out of owain. BUT id never go on a date and order a garden salad. i mean how boring. maybe im just a fatty, haha. also did a spot of revising. which went okay, in a kept getting sidetracked kinda way.. my mind is now full of penis and hats and jak peters drink patterns instead of science. oh dear. i didnt know jak+jess were gonna be there but it was good, jak makes me laugh because of his dumbness :') 'you cu[rra]nt.' :L and after a while i was so used to the smell of fagsmoke i could hardly smell it , not sure whether thats a good or bad thing.. hmm.. but when i got home i believe i smelt horribly of it, every so often id get a wave of the smell, and be like, woa is that me?!
haha :')

decoy

2010-02-27T19:07:00.000Z

i wish there was just a button in life that you could press and everything would just stop.
sometimes everything thats going on doesnt feel like it actually is, like there is is somebody else who all these problems belong to, and that if i think about something else all the problems will be gone when my mind wanders back. i wish it were so. why cant i be sorted, why is my brain such a snob to please. goddamn this world, let me sort out ? im fussy, and stubborn, and get easily locked on, and forgetting is hard.

why am i so mean? lets dig deeper and deeper then the hole is so big i have to cut in steps to climb out, cutting in the edges.

so many questions, i do not know any of the answers any more. i wish it were like maths, one definite answer, then if theres a remainder just make it a decimal point then everything is one big happy number.

although i did have a rather good day today {: i can never be unhappy when subway is around! haha.

im really looking forward to going to owains tomorrow, can just forget about all the things that are frazzling my poor little brain right now. then next weekend is katarinas birthday ^_^ which im really looking forward to, should be amazing.

2010-02-26T16:40:00.000Z

actually thank god its friday. im so tired i might get into bed and have a little nap! :')

i got a bitta beatles jamming in the background, yesyes! my side also has an itch, so im going to scrath that.

now thats all nice and scratched i am going to town tomorrow, eating subway bei ;D nomnomnom, then owains sunday, again, nomnomnom. i have NO homework this weekend, but im still gonna cram in some science revision, cos i dont wanna fail. then again, who does?

shes gotta a ticket to ri-hi-ide, but she dont care :D

mmmm, gotta love it.

im off for a bitta 8 out of 10 cats on 4od then some naptime. :') oh i feel like a little kid! xD
x

right

2010-02-24T17:21:00.000Z

i cant shake off the feeling that im doing this to make everyone else happy.

i miss the butterflies the most. they've left. feels wrong without them.
life isnt fair, thats for sure.
hmmm
aimee divorced me! i actually cant believe her, bitch! :'(

thats about it? :P

a blog of random thoughts that came to me

2010-02-23T21:29:00.000Z

today is tuesday, which means i should have gone to walktall, but they are on tour so i could not :( which is crappy. tomorrow however is wednesday which means i have art, which is funfunfun! rosie is ill though, she better be in tomorrow or for reasons i discussed with her i may find myself pouncing on a pidgeon and raping it. muauahaha!
i still have maths homework to do, but i ended up giving both english courseworks in because i couldnt decide (N) damn.

i had these chinese chicken ribs for dinner, they were really yummy! but not im hungry again, i think the craving is for country crisp. or yoghurt. im not sure yet..
what i thinki might do is go down and make tomorrows lunch + pack my schoolbag, then grab myself a bowl of country crisp AND a yoghurt (thats right, im feling greedy ;D) then come back up here and find me something on iplayer, or 40d, on itv player. so much choice! im really into the take me out's atm, they are funny :P i feel sorry for that rian girl tho (N) shes there 8 weeks and doesnt get chosen once! aww.
my maths homework is still not done but i will do it. i had double maths today and we were doing multiplying and stuff, usually i get this. easy peasy, i can do all that in my head. but today it was all gone. i wanted to cry it was so frustrating. it was like over this half term all my knowledge that was making people think i had a 'talent for maths' had just run out of my brain. it was horrible. hopefully it was just because i was tired etc, hopefully it will come back to me soon because i hate the feeling of feeling stupid. especially when in know its there, its just not working properly. yuckyuckyuck.
its funny how when stuff happens people come flooding back into your life. like they see the opening because im open and just creep in and act like theres been no gap in the speaking. just cos i got messed about doesnt mean that i ant to talk to you more than i did before. i dont mean go away, ts nice. just there is a thin line between chatting and being annoying..
ive also gained quite a few people recently which i never thought would happen. people i like talking to. they are cool (H)

i am wearing new pajamas. they have frogs on. but recently i spoke to kathi and apparently she has never slept naked. although sleeping naked is cotch, it is far too cold for that atm, wait for summer. HURRY UP SUMMER. im getting bored of having to wear loadsa layers :( and im also supposed to be going camping with some peoples this weekend, which i was looking forward to; its going to rain. why spoil my life god? why?! it would have been so fun :[

anyway, i must skedaddle because i need to sort my stuff for toorrow and make lunch etc, its 9.27 which means ive got about an hour until i need to sleep, possibly less. if i work carefully, this enough for sorting, packing, then eating whilst watching take me out, or maybe something else. :D
LATERS GUYS

matts house + broadditch + being muggle.

2010-02-20T22:01:00.000Z

i have a headache. and mher, that.

i feel hungover but i havent even drunk anything :[ so i think its an early night tonight, hoping it will sleep off.

today was very good though, went to matts, then walked through a load of fields to a duckpond, then went and got chips and tapwater. mm, tapwater, yum. then fed ducks {:

then walking back to matts, his house is amaze! so nice (L) we watched inbetweeners and i got amazed by the ice machine in his fridge. it wasnt that amazing, but id never used one before :L frank was the same though, kept asking
'anyone want an ice cube?' and millie, the cutest dog i've pretty much ever seen. aww.

i haven't played hide and seek in about 5 years? but we played it today. i hid the best in one game. me and frank hid together, but me sort of further behind him so they couldnt see me? then they found frank, who led them away from where i/we were. because rosie+frank knew what was going on + where i was, but we kept moving me around so matt was like; 'where is she?!' :') couldnt stop laughing.

had a rather good day.
but my headache now.
:'(
i wanna go to the harry potter theme park.
if only i werent a stupid muggle.
oh well.
x

i likey likey likey

2010-02-19T00:00:00.000Z

i found this on another blog. i liked it. i wanted it somewhere i could find easily.

Though years have passed,
I love you still.
The sun, the moon,
the universe, was ours.
Yet all that remains
is a blanket of stars
shaped like an arrow
through my soul.

help?!

2010-02-18T23:54:00.000Z

here is the situation. these are my gothic courseworks. i didnt like the first one much when i reread it, so i wrote another one. now i cannot chose. good readers of this blog, tell me which one you prefer. if you can be bothered to read all this. aha.

I have been walking just about three minutes now, and already I am completely bored. The beach is desolate and grim, the dog my mum still hadn’t decided on a name for wasn’t looking entertained anyway, but most of all it was beginning to rain. It bothers me the dog has no name; everything should have a name. I used to love the way my mum was ditzy, it made me feel powerful, but it plainly just annoyed me now. Nothing had been done since we had moved to the ‘beautiful’ area I was stuck in now. We had been living there almost a month now, and there were still about a hundred boxes dotted all over the house. She was at home all day, surely unpacking one or two couldn’t hurt? But she just sat and watched TV these days.
Then again, I must say she was better than my ‘dad’. She makes me call him that now they are married. Personally I despise it, he is not my dad, he is never even there to be a dad anyway. She is always in, he is always out. That is how it works now.
I hate beaches. Apparently, we are incredibly lucky to have been able to move somewhere with such an amazing asset right next to it. It is also supposed to be summer, I had even worn my favourite green dress in the hope of sunshine, but in typical English style the weather was rubbish. It annoys me the way the dog is just trundling along beside me, I mean, dogs are supposed to be happy when you take them to the beach? In all the movies they run around everywhere, jump in the sea and come out smelling of wet dog and shaking water everywhere. Alas, my dog is looking as bored as hell.
The sand is beginning to feel solid and uncomfortable beneath my feet and the instinct that comes with rain, to find shelter, flashes through me. The impulse struck me as strange, I like rain. I always stay out in it, everyone went inside and complained they were cold whilst I would walk around outside, absorbed in the splashes of water against my skin and the isolation the rain brought through. Talking of which, this beach is as empty as a crisp bag blowing down the street, well, except for myself and an old couple carrying umbrellas. I watch them hastily retreating up the steps on the far side of the beach. They look quite funny in a way, in proper summer bathing suits. running away in the heavying downpour; their umbrellas constantly turning inside out as the wind hit them in brick loads.
The sky definitely has the grey shade of an elephant now and the rain began running faster from the sky. Each droplet hits my nose and cheeks and with each one I feel the cold stab of the icy water. So when the impulse hits me again, this time I glance around for a shelter. Joy. There is none. The old couple have disappeared from sight now, and my eyes set on the moon that has broken through the clouds in the sky.
Holding my bag above my head, I begin a fast paced jog along the beach in search of something to hold out the wind, rain, and, the cold, which I suddenly am aware was creeping around me and bringing up ghost pimples on my skin. The tide washes around my feet as it moves further and further up the shore and the stab of ice cold English sea around my feet make them numb with cold. I can not remember where the dog is anymore. It could find its own way home for sure, and I am beginning to shiver as the rain seeps through my thin clothes and caressed my bare skin underneath them.
I barely notice I have come to the end of the shore until I almost ran right into the cliff face. The rain is still unbearably heavy, and I still have not found shelter. Beginning to feel desperate, I run up the beach parallel to the cliff face until my legs enter into a small hole in the wall of the cliff. It looks extremely uninviting, and I had never actually seen a cave before, (was this even a cave?) Nevertheless, my brain tells me it does not matter, just get out; get warm and get dry. So breathing in, I pace into the pitch black of the hole in the face of the cliff. I sense something tear as I duck down to get into the cave, and then feel my dress strap drift downwards. I do not care.
The first thing that strikes me as I round the corner of the passage is the brightness. I expected pitch black, at best glimmers of light, but I can see easily all around me.
I slow my pace so my feet are barely shuffling, and take in my surroundings. If this is a cave, it is ifascinating to look at.
A faint echo of thunder claps behind me, but my ears barely feel it. The cave has me totally engrossed, every tiny detail of it. Everything about it is entrancing, the faint glow emanating from nowhere in particular, the stalactites hanging as bats from the ceiling, the miniscule cracks that dot everywhere like raindrops, even the rough feel of my palms as they brace lightly against the wall.
My feet begin to continue walking at a normal pace again. I like the way every step I take gives an echo that bounces forward and backwards around the cave like footballs, bounce, bounce, bounce. And then there is the constant dropping from the stalactites as the torrents of rain from outside slowly begin merging downwards to meet me again. So many sounds to this silence.
And then, all of a sudden, it is silent. Completely silent. The dripping has stopped. My feet are not echoing. Sounds of nothing swirl around me, covering my rooted body in an invisible mist of nothing. the cave was no longer beautiful. I no longer find the silence reassuring. But the fact that I turn around and see nothing familiar whichever way I look is the one thing that crushes my brain the most.
And it is at this moment I miss everything. Even the things I hate. What I would give to be back with my stupid boring dog, my ditzy annoying mother and my stupid workaholic ’dad’. I am wishing so hard, for a moment I find myself back at home, surrounded by boxes and the smell of paint. Then my eyes flicker back open and I am back in this cave, lost in a wilderness of an unknown, isolated nightmare.
I find myself walking forwards again, but shakily this time. The cave is still terrifying as before, and I still have no sense of where to go. So I walk to nowhere in particular. After all, being more lost than I am right now is pretty impossible. Up ahead of me is a brightness that seems different to the glows that radiate of every other surface of the cave. This glow feels inviting, almost eerie in the way it so badly attracts me towards it. My feet walk towards it, speeding up the whole time, but it feels so completely right I keep them going.
A few meters away from the light I find my feet slowing down to an average walk. The cave all around me is brighter, thanks to this new found unknown source of light. It looks almost as beautiful as before, the walls that surround me are the kind of grey you find on a school skirt, and as I breath in the air, I feel the cool refreshing smell of moss. It relaxes my heartbeat to; I almost feel calm again.
The few last steps towards the light are the slowest I believe I have ever taken. As I walk into it I find myself in a mist of fog. A fog the colour of snow; not the grey mouldy type you find in backstreets, but the white of fresh untouched snow. It smells of bleach and something else I ca not place, something tangy and familiar.
Walking further into the mist I find myself feeling a bit light headed, as if I was nauseas, though I feel completely fine. I feel completely happy, completely relaxed, completely normal. The mist swirls and flows around me, a whirlpool. Somewhere further into this fog of snow, I begin to see the outline of something. It sticks up out of the floor with the power and edge of a lion, it does nothing yet you are totally in awe of it. Walking towards it, my head feels lighter, my pace becomes faster and the mist dances quicker.
It is, as one thing like a giant stone plate. It sticks out the floor getting wider and wider until it has formed a bowl, a huge bowl, about two meters in diameter. Completely made of stone, pumice I think. It feels rough under my fingers, and files some of my skin off as I run my fingers along it. Around the edges it is chipped quite a few times, some look like they had been cut out by a dagger or a knife, and some look like teeth marks. This probably should scare me, something having teeth strong enough to mark stone, but it clicked in my mind that mist had probably made me a bit inebriated, so the thought means nothing to me. I am still utterly content in this cave, this beautiful cave. My eyes run further along and around the bowl.
They focus around the centre, where I notice a set of drawings, long, forgotten and aged. How strange, the feeling I am the first here in centuries. Finding myself examining the drawings more closely, they show a story. The first one shows a girl, a girl with long brunette hair. Her clothes are shabby and cut but faintly show the traces of an emerald green dress with pale skin underneath. She wears ripped up shoes that are barely on anymore. Next to her is a small dog with long floppy ears and short beige fur. A little sausage dog. The dog had a little black spot on its side, just like mine. That brought up something in my brain, I had completely forgotten about my dog. I hope desperately he has got home, or was safe, or just something positive. Dodging the thought he might not be in my eye, I turn my eyes to the second drawing.
There is lots of rain, streaming down in torrents, and the girl in the green dress and torn up shoes was running in it. She holds a beige bag over her head, and her brown hair has gone coal black from the rain. There is a sunshine yellow lightning bolt stuck behind her. On her face she wears a slightly annoyed, slightly distressed expression.
Wandering my eyes to the next one, I see a cave. The entrance is dark and black, and the girl looks relieved. Her hair is sticking up, and one of the straps of her dress is torn and dangles down. My eyes glimpse down towards my dress strap, the ripped one. The ripped green strap of my dress.
Slightly exasperated and hoping it is nothing, I move my eyes to the fourth drawing. The background is completely black except for a white, messily drawn scribbles along the bottom. Faintly in them you could see a patch of green, a trace of brown, and a flash of red.
The fifth drawing shows just the girl in the green dress standing in front of a bowl, the exact same shape of the one I am looking into now. The view was taken from the back of the girl, all you see is her hair; you do not witness her face. My mind is jumping everywhere at this point, this girl is wearing what I am and has the same story as I have. Before I turn to the sixth and last drawing I turn around. Just to make sure. There is no-one, just the white mist. The smell of moss still flares around inside my nostrils, and I turn my eyes slowly and cautiously to the sixth, and last drawing.
You can see the top of the girls’ head, but the main focus of the drawing is the centre of the stone bowl. I blink slowly, then move my head of to the centre of the stone bowl.
My mind goes frantic and I have no idea what to do. In the centre of a bowl is, that. Clean, fresh shiny silver. And all of a sudden I know what the tangy familiar but unknown smell and the flash of red were.
I run. There was nothing else to do. Every sense of direction is lost to me. Up, down, left, right, gone. Run. Faster. Faster. Keep going. Run. Don‘t stop now. It felt like planes had been stuck to my feet. They were non-stop moving. Running. Faster. Keep going. Keep running. Forever.
Stop.
------------------------------------------
and number two!
I had never really thought about how I would die, or where and when. Until now there had been no reason for me to consider the concept of the one inevitable thing in life, death. We spend the whole of our lives wishing for more, yet when we face losing what we do have, we fight so hard to keep it.
Terrified as I am, I can not bring myself to regret everything. Being here, now I can not repent. I look up slowly towards my death and embrace its cold heartless touch.
* * *
My mothers front door is locked. This means one of two things; she is in her photography studio taking refuge in the creativity and solitude, or there is something wrong. My mother rarely locks her door, she sees little point in trying to keep people out. As a child I had never questioned this, it was just normality. I fumble in my pocket for my key and groan as I hear them jangle on the bitter slabs beneath me. In the dense blackness I can not see where they have fallen; I crouch down to pick them up. All I need is a small glimmer of light but there is none. No doors are open, no lights in windows open, nobody with a torch - it is far too early. Out of the corner of my straining eyes I see a shadow pass over the house, then another, then another. Turning around to see what is producing them; I see nothing. Just continuous darkness. What was there is either gone, or was never there in the first place. Is my mind playing tricks on me? The feeling I am being watched will not leave my side, and the heavy night seems to tighten around my frozen body. Slowly I go back to hunting for my keys. Suddenly the door in front me looks so much taller and more daunting. Staggering backwards to try and get away from my home, I hear the jangling of my keys beneath my lumbering feet. Like a flash, I stoop down to grab them then straight back up to standing. It feels silly, but everything feels scarier at night. I repeatedly tell myself this as with shivering hands I attempt to unlock the door. It swings open, and I am hit in the face with the deafening silence of the hallway. Suddenly I realise how long it has been since I have visited this house, the walls have been repainted to an icy blue, the carpet is gone, replaced with a smooth polished linoleum. It no longer feels like my home. The hallway light is not on, but fading light emanates from the kitchen. It looks gloomy, and feels empty. Stepping inside I feel no homely warmth, the air is heavy with tension. The walls are still covered with photos of me as a child, growing up, her and my father, but still numerous amounts of her photography grace the walls. I find myself smiling at a photo of myself about five years old, standing proud in my bright red school uniform on my first day. Leaving the photo, I walk briskly forwards and feel a wave of nausea as a shiver sprints down my spine.
‘Mum?’ no reply. The atmosphere shifts slightly, even colder now. I pace hastily forwards toward the back of the house, toward the kitchen. I stop as I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I open the text from my mother; ‘Hurry.’ Still no explanation. Still no reasoning as to why she has called my down here at no notice. Shoving the phone back in my pocket, I turn the corner and see my mother lying dead on the kitchen floor.
I freeze. I open my mouth but do not scream. I feel my bag drop out of my hands then I hear the thud as it hits the floor. The world around me goes thick with the sound of my own blood pounding in my throat. I take two staggering steps toward her. Her throat is savaged, her tongue lulls and the kitchen air holds the unmistakable stench of death. There is a silver gleam of wire wrapped around her blood spattered neck.
An empty kitchen-table chair stands next to her, as if she may have been sitting on it before she died. A low moan escapes from my dry throat, and I crash down next to my mothers body. Brushing a tangle of her greying hair away from my face, her eyes are revealed. They are wide and swollen, unseeing. I brush my hand on her pale cheek, her skin is still warm.
I stand back up. A wave of dizziness buckles my shaky legs. The police. I have to call the police. I stagger around her body to the kitchen counter, where her breakfast still sits; a half full coffee cup and the leftover crumbs of her toast. I reach past this toward the slender white phone, my hands shaking violently. I punch in the three best known numbers and hold the phone to my ear.
Metal hammers brutally into the back of my head. The phone slides out my hand and crashes onto the stone floor, and I drop down with it. My teeth bite into my tongue and I taste the tang of blood. I shut my heavy eyelids and crumple into the darkness.
I feel a gun press coolly against the back of my head. The perfect circle of its barrel pushes on my scalp. I rope is looped around my neck and I feel the burn as it is tightens. Jerking away from it, I feel the gun crack against my temple, and a strong male voice speaks from above me.
‘Be still.’ immediately I tense my body and try to sit up. I feel a powerful arm push me back down.
‘Or you’re dead.’ They pick up my bag from the edge of the kitchen, a robbery. I stop myself saying anything just in time, and hear the rustle of them rummaging around in my bag; my computer, my camera, my laptop. I hear the sound of my laptop turning on, louder than my own ragged breathing. Then a few long seconds of silence, fingers tapping on a keyboard. I want to ask what they want, what they are doing here, with me, why they killed my mother, but I can not. Fear of what the consequences of this action stop me.
The gun pushes me further forward so I am almost touching my mothers dead jaw. I can smell her blood fiercely burning my nostrils. I want to turn round and see my captivators faces, but this is an impossibility. The noose around my neck tightens around my neck, pulling savagely into my throat, and I feel my pulse pushing against it.
Behind me I hear them whispering, and I strain my ears to try and hear. As if I am being punished for ear wigging, the rope tightens again, and I writhe around trying to grasp some oxygen. There is none.
‘You took breathing for granted, didn’t you now sunshine?’ This mans voice is new, different to the previous ones. It crosses my mind when they could have switched places without my noticing. He loosens the rope just enough for me to breathe, and I gasp it in. Flooding myself in oxygen, I feel my lungs thank the cold air. Disgust at my weakness radiates from the man above me. His shadow folds over me, and I cower underneath his power. It is a cold shadow, and I let the darkness steal me in.
* * *
I wake to the sound of my phone screaming at me. Something is wrong, no-one who knows me would ever call me this early. I open my eyes to stare up to the cobweb ridden ceiling. Stained with festering rings of mould it was not a pleasant site and only made me wish I’d spent extra on the hotel. There was no questioning what could have happened in this room; murder, crime, anything. I did not want to think about it. Turning away from the ceiling I grab around until my hand finds the phone.
‘Hello?’
His mother answered; ‘Richard, I need you to come home now. No questions. Just do it.’ She spoke in a hushed whisper, her voice fast and unnerved.
I fumbled for the bedside lamp. ‘What’s the matter?’
‘I just need you here now, please.’ composed but persistent.
Why could she not tell me? Surely she did not expect me to travel all that way with no reason? ‘Mum, please, just tell me what’s going on and I’l come.’
‘I said, not over the phone Richard. Please.’ She fell silent, this was the end of it. An uncomfortable tension rose between us for around ten long seconds, until she broke it. ‘Please Richard.’
The naked neediness; a tone I have never heard from my mother, made her sound a stranger to me. I have nothing left to say. ‘Okay Mum, I’m coming.’
‘Thank you. I love you.’
‘I love you too.’ She had already hung up.
* * *
Consciousness floods back into me; I keep my eyes shut. Silence. I hear no speech, though the atmosphere is still heavy with tension and death. The rope is still around my raw neck, but loose now. Realising I am shivering violently, I open my left eye a slit. The room is empty. For a few seconds I lie there with both my eyes open now taking in everything that has happened.
Stumbling up I take in this changed room. The countertops are spattered with mine and my mothers blood. The floor is carpeted with the shards of glass of all my mothers favourite photos. I stare at the pictures behind the spider webs of smashed glass, all my mothers photography, ruined. Her life. Gone. Already the absence of her seems to have settled into the house, into the air, into my bones. One of the shiny cupboard doors is hanging on its hinges, another has fallen off completely, revealing a gaping cave of glossy bowls and plates. The cutlery draw is open and disorganized and the knife stand is missing several. Lurching forwards I fall against the wall, then stagger through the archway back into the hall.
There is a large cavernous hole punched in the cool blue walls, and many stab wounds gouged into them. Outside the sun is rising slightly, and patches of the natural light bathe the hall in ugly beams of daylight. Stepping over the torn trampled photographs, and the remains of their frames I reach the front door. One of its glass panes is smashed, another now a shattered maze of cracks. I pull it slowly open, it squeals like a famished cat. Outside it is dawn, casting the street in a mist of grey. Each house looks substantially bigger than I remembered; much more intimidating. I feel so insignificant and minute.
Standing still for many elongated seconds; I have no idea where to go. Where can you go when your mother has just been murdered and you can not tell anyone? Nowhere. This is not normal. A luxurious black business car pulls up at the end of the driveway. Somewhere in the distance, a cat screeches, and I feel time slow down. Watching the car door open I keep still. A man in an expensive suit and thinning grey hair climbs out. His shoes are polished to perfection, and even his tie looks ironed. All I can do is watch as he walks briskly towards me. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.
Feeling myself being grabbed from behind, I do not fight. There is no point, I know nothing of what is happening here today, with these people I may find answers. Answers to why my mother was murdered, answers to why I have been targeted, answers. My body gives in as they march me down the path to the car. The door is opened by the man with the ironed tie, and I step fearlessly inside.

homework homework coursework

2010-02-17T20:02:00.002Z

today i was supposed to get a load of my work done + tidy my room a little bit.

instead i ended up i ended up getting up at 12.30, taking some shiz to oxfam and then to co-op to topup my phone, the coming back to eat chinese food and spend 3 hours watching gavin and stacey.
i don't know why i got up at 12.30, i just kept falling back to sleep because i couldnt be bothered to get out of bed, plus i was tired. the topup didnt give me the free texts and internet that it's supposed to, which means i am going to die, my credit is gonna go so fast having to pay for texts |: the chinese was good, but the time passed so fast watching the gavin and stacey that before i knew it it was 4.30 and i had got absolutely nothing done. i started redoing some coursework, and it went okay but now i dont know if im allowed to restart it. i tried doing maths, but got so bored and frustrated that i couldnt work it all out i just ended up laying on my bed.

so now im doing my coursework and this, but idk if im allowed to completely rewrite it. but i dont like my first one. i reread it and it sounds stupid. i wish i was good at writing english, i never find the right words. maybe i need to read more serious stuff like stephen king, maybe i should go to the library tomorrow and check a load out. but i get bored so easily. besides the library now isn't about the books now, it's just about looking pretty. there are nowhere near as many books as there used to be, :/ maths i can do, but its so god damn boring. anyway, i guess its back to my coursework. *sigh* i bet i just get another B anyway. i know thats good. but if i 'can do better' then i should, surely? but my hugetastic laziness just gets in the way. and the way im critical, and get bored too easily. eurgh. stupid. i miss being in primary, back then a page long story was loads...

i am getting my haircut tomorrow, then possibly need to go to an orange shop to get my texts, need em :( think i'l just get a trim, cba with anything else. anyway, back to my coursework!
:P
x

and so we continue our story

2010-02-15T22:43:00.000Z

standing tall and proud in the middle of the road, bert felt like a king. now he completely understood why he'd wanted to be a lollipop lady; this was the life. he crossed the road to help a small group of children, one that caught his eye looked about 5 and wore a scarlet red coat. bert decided to strike up a conversation as she looked interesting.
'do you believe the experimentation's on the movement on subatomic particles is going anywhere?' the girl looked down towards him, he lip turned up like a sluts skirt, and a tiny drop of saliva wound its way out of her mouth. the girl giggled, then ran off muttering 'subatomic particleys' to herself as she went.
bert stared in horror as the saliva droplet fell towards him. it landed right on his beautiful wart. he heard a scream burst out of his small banana mouth, and his eyes darted round in horror. the saliva was burning, burning away at his precious wart. then suddenly the pain was all over, the flames in his mouth were gone, and bert felt fine. relieved, he glanced down towards the floor. to his horror, he saw on the tarmac the little red ribbon that he had tied this morning, and lying next to it was BERT'S WART. bert could not believe his yellow eyes, his beautiful amazing stunning wart had been ripped away from him. he clasped his hands to his face and sure enough it was gone. oceans rippled down his yellow skin, and his little heart cracked.
he tore off his prized yellow luminous coat and run off back towards his house, tears falling everywhere, leaving rivers behind him. bert turned up the main road towards his house. a beastly shadow rose above him like a wave, and bert could only look in horror as this horrific monster tore towards him. the tires of the smartcar approached at a speend of nearly 15 miles per hour, and hit bert straight on. he collapsed backwards in a pile of banana mush and banana milkshake. the smart car drove away carefree.

i just watched big bang theory, sheldon is so funny. in a weird way. i can imagine knowing someone like him, it would annoy the shit out of me.

okay i know i was supposed to write loads of crap but that story really took it out of me, sorry katherine! x

this is for katherine.

2010-02-15T21:58:00.000Z

there was once a banana. his name was bert mestropolis, and he was laying in bed one day after a long nights sleep, when he began contemplating to himself about the wart on his chinn. he'd never really thought about it before, it had been there ever since he'd grown on the banana tree. he got out of bed and gazed into the mirror. the wart looked as it did normally, but today was different. today bert was finding it very attractive. he couldn't believe he'd never noticed it before, how god had blessed him! excited by the concepts having such a beautiful wart had opened up to him, he quickly got dressed into his peel, and tied a small red bow around the wart. bert took a final moment to admire himself in the mirrow, then walked out of the room and left for work.
bert had spent many of his years working his way up through jobs, he'd gained many promotions, and had eventually find himself exactly where he wanted to be. he put on his bright yellow coat, and stepped out into the middle of the road holding his sign with pride, a gold medal to all his hard work.

TBC WHEN I'VE EATEN AND WATCHED A BIT OF I.T CROWD.

its not perfect but it'll do

2010-02-14T22:01:00.000Z

my mum said yes to town tomorrow :DDDD which means i can try and get a few new clothes which im happy happy happy about. i need some leggings, but not jeggings because they are yucky, and some boots. and a school jumper, buts thats not as interesting.
i cant wait for summer either, can wear nice clothes + wear my new bike stuff ;D woop!

anyway, i think everythings sortedish again. im not so confused now. i still dont know what i want, but i think im completely over it all. i still miss the butterfly feeling and the niceness of having someone, but you in general im over. im glad that we're talking again because i dont like hating people. its not a nice feeling, makes you feel horrid. anyways, i have a roast to eat. im not even hungry, but i couldnt say no because that would be mean, so ima have to eat it and just leave some. then tomorrow morn i will sneak it dowwnstairs, and no-one will know! 8) im so smart.

nightynights!

im getting into these again

2010-02-13T20:22:00.000Z

Song that always makes you sad : cold as you - taylor swift
chasing cars - snow patrol
Last thing you bought : katarinas birthday present ;D / i chipped in with matt for my burger king lunch :D goodtimes
Last person you argued with : dunno, i more 'debate' ;D
Do you put butter before putting the jelly on: i have JAM. but not in sandwiches
One of your nicknames as a kid : zozo ¬.¬
Did you ever own at one time a Nsync Cd : ew, no. :L
Favorite day of the week : friday. because you're in a good mood all day cos it's close to saturday/weekend {:
Favorite Sundae topping : erm, chocolate + marshmallows ;D or toffee, nomnom!
Did you take Piano lessons : nope, im a failure at instruments
Most frequent song played : if today was your last day - nickelback , 82 plays D:
TV show you secretly enjoy : erm, come dine with me? but everyone secretly watches that xD
Would you rather play basketball or hockey : basketball, more fun
Date someone older or younger : older
One place you could travel right now : id like to have joined jack in austria please!
Do you use umbrellas: if its raining
Do you know all the words to your national anthem : jesus no :L
Favorite Cheese : double gloucester? or any melted cheese, yumyum!
Disturbed or My Chemical Romance : neither lol
Blondes or Brunettes : depends who it is, i wouldnt really care
Best job you ever had : working in the indian lol, they gave me yummy food (L)
Did you go to your high school prom : never had one
Perfect time to wake up : on a weekend, like 9ish? on school, 7.11 exactly, yupp, precise
Perfect time to go to bed : 10.30?
Do you use your queen right away in chess : you cant unless you move the pawn first STUPID. however, sometimes i do use the queen near the start. depends who im playing with.
Ever been in a car accident : no, and dont plan to thanks
Closer to mom or dad...or neither: mUm. and dad. idk really, i like oth of them
What do you call your sweetheart lovingly : i don't. i don't have a 'sweetheart' anymore
What decade during the 20th century would you have chosen to be a teenager : 80's, sounds like funtimes
Favorite shoes you have EVER owned : my powerpuff girl trainers, they lit up when i stomped. those were the days!
Were you ever in a school talent show : i've been in a few at meopham, and i was in the plays at my primary school
Have you ever written in a library book : probably, at some point
Favorite fruit strawberries or raspberries: raspberries
Have you watched sex and the city : no. the movie bored me lol.
Baseball hat or toque : baseball hat.
Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap : shampoo.
Wet the toothbrush or brush dry with the toothpaste : wet, not right otherwise
Pen or pencil: pencil, you can draw with pencils as well as write
Have you ever gambled at a casino : on the 2p machines ;D and i lost everything :'(
Have you thrown up on a plane : no
Have you thrown up in a car : no
Have you thrown up at work : oh yes :') yumyumyum
Do you scream on roller coasters : its not fun if you dont scream!
Who was your first prom date : don't do proms
Who was your first roommate : erm, my cat?
What alcoholic beverage did you drink for the first time: red wine i believe
What was your first job : paperround .
What was your first car : never owned a car :(((
When did you first go to a funeral: my grandads :(
How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown: never moved, lol
Who was your first grade teacher: the one before miss gingell, i cant remember her name lol
When did you sneak out of your house for the first time : i dont think i ever have lol
Who was your first best friend and are you still friends with them : rosie, and yes i am :D
Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent : i live with my parents. im that cool 8)
Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day : fred.
Whose wedding were you in, the first time you were a bridesmaid or a groomsman : never been a bridesmaid :'(
What is the first thing you do in the morning : pee. :D
What was the first concert you attended : i never have :O apart from yogs
First tattoo or piercing : none, god im such a failure!
Where did you go on your first airplane ride : never! apart from that time i drove a helicopter
First celebrity crush : i believe it was the cute one from busted (L)

2010-02-13T13:36:00.002Z

im hot.
katherine payne, if i could, i would marry you.
but i cannot.

"i know what you are"
"say it"
"gay."
;)

i get bored.

2010-02-12T23:27:00.000Z

YOU

1. What's your name ? : Zoe King.
2. Whens your birthday ? : 2nd May.
3. Where were you born? : Gravesend Hospital
4. Were you a planned child? i think so? i never asked..
5. Eye/ hair color : brown, dark blonde
6. Shoe size : 6
7. Piercings? : none =O
8. Tattoos ? : none again.. im a fail.
9. Wear any jewellery? : bracelets, my watch, and normally a necklace
10. How short are you ? : like 5'5 - 5'6
11. How many teeth are in your mouth? just the one ;D
12. Chew your nails? : non,
13. What does your hair look like? dark blonde, wavyish
14. Do you wear glasses? : no, + i way miss all my sunglasses :(
15. Have you ever broken a bone ? nope, dont jinx please

[ L I F E ]

1. Do you live with both parents ? : yupp, i do {:
2. Do you have any pets ? : j'ai un chat qui s'appelle fred ;D get that mrs holmes!
3. How many siblings do you have? a sister, steph. we're not alike.
4. Anybody other then relatives live with you ?: nope, unless you count fred
5. Lots of friends ? : i have no friends (N)
6. Have a job ? : ive had a few, all ended goddammit.
7. Do you have a car?: we have two in the king possession, not specifically the zoe possession tho
8. Where are you located ? : on the chair by my desk in my room ;D
9. Any mental illnesses ? : none diagnosed anyway
10. Retarded? im normal, everyone else is just weird, so leave it out{:
11. Currently sick ? : nopeeeee
12. Ever spent the night in a hospital ? : nope
13. Do you wish you could change anything about your life?: my love life yes, but life in general im happy with. takes more energy to be sad.
14. Excited for anything ? : pancake day! and valentines day ;D
15. Why do you get up in the morning? : normally school -.-

[ F R I E N D S ]

1. Who are your friends ? jesus im not listing everyone.
2. Who do you trust the most ? : rosie, and possibly jack with some stuff
3. Which is most like you ? : no-one is like me lol. hmm, idk who i'd pick
4. Do you like any of them more then a friend ? : im getting past him.
5. Describe all your friends in one word : fat. :D
6. Who has been there for you through the hard times ? : rosie, for sure
7. What are a few memories you have with them ? : erm, so so many xD pizza hut ;D
8. Who lives the farthest? : my german friend simon! OH YEA. okay for serious, sam probably.
9. Who do you hang out with most ? : in school, watkins. outside of school, loads of different people.
10. Anyone you wish you were still friends with? : sort of. but tbh i dont want to talk to you.
11. A song that describes your friendship with all your friends ? : im only me when im with you - taylor swift
liquid lives - hadouken (okay maybe not utterly true, but still,xD)

12. Have a friend thats kinda two-faced? : sort of. but it doesnt effect me so much?
13. Friend that you tell EVERYTHING to? : rosie
14. Who was your first real best friend? rosie {:

[ L O V E ]

1. Status : single.
2. Who are you with : no-one. fuck it.
3. Anyone you got in mind? : still tryna sort my head out tbh.
4. Last person you said i love you to? : idk. aimee? :D
5. Why did your last relationship end? : because he basically decided i wasnt good enough anymore.
7. Do you believe in love at first sight? : no. sorry, but no.
8. Honestly , are you/were you ever in love?: possibly, idk. wasn't worth it all in the end. love is pain so in that sense i must of been, but im too young to know what love is for sure.
9. What do you look for in a relationship : someone who gives a shit. and makes me laugh.
10. Any one certain thing that would cause a break up? : when the persons a ~~dick~~cunt who doesn't care about anything except themselves and their xbox.
11. Plan on getting married? : yes. when it's right.

[ F U T U R E ]

1. Will you get married? : someday.
2. Where will you live? : earth.
3. What kind of job do you want? : something in design.
4. Big family? : please god no.
5. Going to university? : if i find the money.
6. How many kids? : 0. unless i decide i want any.
7. Do you think you will still have the same friends? : i hope so.
8. Do you think you will act the same? : no. im growing up, it happens, things change.
9. Will your style change a lot? : yes. fashions change.
10. Where do you plan to retire? : i doubt i'l live that long. someday all my clutziness will actually end real badly. but if i do, somewhere nice.
11. What are you doing next year? : year 11. shitscared.
12. What do you think you will be doing in 10 years?: working my way up.
13. Ever make plans with someone for the future?: the future scares me too much to think about it all.

[ L A S T ]

1. Drive : to maidstone today with my daddy :D
2. Phone call : my dad, to find where he was from that dance show thing {:
3. Text message : tom, at 18.16
4. Kiss : sams party i think /:
5. Hug : aimee i think?
6. Shower : this morning
7. Movie watched: the break up
8. Night? : i was on facebook and such, then watched the cleveland brown show and went to bed about 11.
9. Song listened to: love sweat and beer - hadouken
10. Last thing that was bought? : helmet + leather jacket, booya!

[ R A N D O M ]

1. Do you have your natural hair color? yesyesyes
2. Anything fake on you? nope
4. Have a secret hand shake with anyone? : i have my prattish handshake with sam ;D
5. In my house: porn, maltesers, lubricants such as vaseline and your mother. OOFT.
6. Three things I could not live without are : music -phil-, my laptop, and food?
7. Most memorable moment : erm, got to be when i got raped by farmer bert amongst the carrot fields with the pigs watching. that was NOT a good experience /:
8. First word that comes to mind : MUGGLE.
9. Favorite song lyrics : oh jesus.
theres gotta be something for my soul somewhere.
i wanna run with the reckless emotion, find out if love is the size of an ocean, even if i crash down and burn out, at least im gonna know what its like to feel alive.
it rains when you're here and it rains when you're gone
my brother had a book he would hold with pride, little red cover + a broken spine, on the back he handwrote a quote inside; when the rich wage war its the poor who die.
life is a maze + love is a riddle.
i could go on for long.
i need inspiration, not just another negotiation.
10. What are your plans for tomorrow?: bluewater with katherine+matt+tom ;D
11. What about this weekend? : that is the weekend lol. havent planned sunday yet.
12. What do you say way too much : fail.
13. Ever drove an ATV : a what now?
14. I currently feel : confused + happy
15. How long did it take you to fill this out? like an hour cos i stopped in between cos of 8 out of 10 cats

bikey cheese on toast

2010-02-12T16:01:00.000Z

aaaah, i love shopping {: i went to maidstone with my daddio, and got a new jacket+helmet. i was really surprised at how hideously tacky some of the helmets were, how can people wear that and not feel sick?! i got just a normal silver one, which is goodstuff :D

then we came home and had cheese on toast and it was rather yummy tings :D i watched the skins from last night, it was okay. im still kind of not as interested as the last one. effy is so normal, its just boring. but i never would have thought cookes mother was rich, woaaaas :P his brother is a little shit thogh, i think anyway. but still kind of cute? xD

i need to pee.
byes?

evening of the parentals

2010-02-11T20:56:00.000Z

aaaaaye, im really happy {:
all my teachers were really nice, and mrs macleod didn't smell! my mum was actually quite dissapointed, she'd only wanted to see her to see how much she smelt lol!
its not even nine o clock now and im really tired :'( but i feel lame going to bed early, i might go make some food and whack on some dvds bei ;D i know i've already had dinner but im hungry again! goddammit!

i saw rosie in the corridor, and she coughed, so i coughed louder, and my mum was like 'is this some sort of inside joke then?' :L n'aww. but seriously, i am actually really happy. the strange thing is i bet when i get back into their lessons it will be back to normal, being told off for talking etc etc. hmm :P

on the way out the stupid teacher with the stupid voice and massive gap between her teeth was like 'have you signed up for parent mail' then they started discussing about how kids dont give letters and oh how funny. then tasha and badger came passed, she asked them and they were both like 'yupp, we've signed up for all that already.' wahey, that made me look so disorganised! *sigh*

my cat was in here a minute ago and i think he farted, it smells really yucky. and no, it wasn't me. silly boy. cats shouldn't fart, yuckyuckyuck.
i need to get changed into my pjs. but i cba to get up. mheeeer.

donedonedone.

i have succeeded in rosies early blog thing, 7.12 am! xD

2010-02-10T07:12:00.002Z

its far too early. i hate school, well not school exactly but the time i have to get up to go to it. i wasnt tired until 11 last night so fell asleep about half 11, which means i had 7 and a half hours sleep bleeeeurgh. but i had a dream which contained a lot of drugs, and thats al i remember about it.

the snow amount is feeble. its like a tiny layer of snow, not even an inch. which means we still have to go into school, and it just makes everything that little bit colder and there are no advantages to it., ¬_¬

but art today, woo! id better go get dressed.

im really bored, for shame!

2010-02-08T19:29:00.000Z

Have you kissed somebody over 19 years of age?
no.

What would you do if your best friend went out with your ex?
there would be some stones to be thrown. and some punches to be punched. and shouting to be shouted. CUNT.
hopefully this is not going to happen, she wouldn't do that to me.

Green or gold?
green.

What’s your sport?
walking. i walk don't i ?

Do you know how to keep a conversation going?
yes, if i want it to.

Do you like the rain?
i love it if im in the right mood.

What hat would you rock?
erm, a tophat? id look well sexy. ;D

Were you ever with someone who was completely different than you?
not really, theres always something in common, even if its something like liking shoes or whatever.

Have you ever had a crush on someone that was in a relationship?
hasn't everyone?

When was the last time you were told you were beautiful?
can't remember.

What is bothering you right now?
i don't like this song, the second question has put thoughts into my mind, and i need a bath but cba to get up to run it in.

I’ll bet you miss someone right now.
i do and i shouldn't.

Are you easily scared by horror/thriller films?
non, but when i watch em late at night, well it's easy to get scared by them..
:P

If you were given $100, would you spend it, or save it?
i'd try and save it. but probably spend it, just over time.

If there was a large spider in the room, would you stay?
yeah, lol. idm em.

Do you have any enemies?
not specifically, but there are people i 'strongly dislike'.

Ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?
his eyes were sort of greyey-blue. mheeeeeeer.

When was the last time you were truly happy with your life?
a few months ago, before january for sure.

When is the last time you made someone else cry?
idk, :/

Would you be able to date someone who had a kid with someone else?
well not at my age, but possibly if i was older.

Last person you had a deep and meaningful conversation with?
probably rosie?

Does your ex miss you?
he's a cunt and he never gave a crap, why would he start now? basically no.

Reason behind why you last cried?
because i was lonely, i couldn't sleep, and thoughts wouldn't stop.

Do you have a deep dark secret?
not really.

What was the last thing you ever got grounded for?
haven't been grounded in years! woah!

What was your childhood nickname?
zozo, EURGH. or noey which was okay. lets not even go towards doey and lawnmoey..{:

Are your parents married/separated/divorced?
married.

What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
scary men who would do bad stuff

Who would you want to be tied to for 24 hours?
if i had to be rosie or katherine or katarina.
actually not rosie cos she'd be moaning about how she needed to be+was hungry.
i think katarina cos we'd just sleep most of the time ;D

Who do you blame for your mood today?
erm, everyone i saw was part of my mood for surely?

Last person you went out to dinner with?
cat+kat+rosie, though it wasn't really 'out for dinner' we just grabbed maccy d's :P

How do you vent your anger?
i blog, lol. and i punch my pillow, and i cry.

Are most of your friends virgins?
probably, hopefully

Are you a mama’s child or a daddy’s child?
erm, well i believe they both played a part ..

Is anything alive in your room?
me + fred

im a boredun

2010-02-07T19:21:00.000Z

What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
tango orange {:

Who was your last text message from?
sam lewis

Have you ever kissed anyone named Matthew?
non

Where was your profile picture taken?
apple shop {:

Last person you rode in a car with under the age of 20?
rosie+katheriney

Name someone that made you laugh today?
jeremy clarkson ;D

How late did you stay up last night and why?
about 1, cos thats when i was tired

If you could move somewhere else, would you?
non, i like where i am, roots and all that

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
jakey {:

Do you believe ex's can be friends?
yes. if they're not cunts.

Calling or texting?
textingg

How do u feel about Dr pepper?
yumyum

When was the last time you cried really hard?
when i got back from yog, mherrr

Where is your biological father right now?
downstairs i think

Where are you at right now?
in my bedrooomy

What bed did you sleep in last night?
mine.

What was the last thing someone bought for you?
dunno, pizza?

Who took your profile picture?
the laptop in apple shop @@

Was yesterday better than today?
yes t'was! yesterday was amaze

Can you live a day without TV?
sure, i'l just waddle onto iplayer, you can watch it all on there ;D

Are you mad about anything?
my forehead, im poor + im stuck like this for a while

Are you a bad influence?
im innocent, swear it.

Night out or night in?
night out please!

What items could you not go without during the day?
phoney, phil, purse[freedompass comes with this] and money? and clothes, obvs.

Would you share a drink with a stranger?
what someone i dont know at all? NO.

Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
never i dont think actually

What does the 3rd text message in your inbox say?
il be there at about 1230, bit late.

How do you feel about your life right now?
ive got everything i need, but not everything i want

How many times have you been pulled over by the police?
dunno, never?

Do you hate anyone?
yes, you stupid little slut. and other people, dont blame me.

If we were to look in your inbox, what would we find?
email ; a load of advertising shit
fb ; gig stuff, a load of crap i dont want from 'the big picture' and messages from people
phone ; loaaaaads of shit. :P

Can you easily tell if someones fake?
its obvious most of the time

If you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
yea

Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
yes, but it really doesnt make anything better

What song is stuck in your head?
way back into love from music and lyrics

Wanna have kids before you’re 30?
if i have kids i dont wanna be old cos then they wont like me

Name something you have to do tomorrow?
school, avoid people, and add the purple to stencil shit

Can you whistle?
a really soppy little high pitched thing, pityful

Do you sleep on your side, stomach, or back?
side + stomach

Do you think too much or too little?
too much, about everything

Do you smile a lot?
depends who im with

Who was your last missed call on your mobile phone?
rosie i think

When is the next time you will see the person you like?
tomorrow, unfortunately. although im not sure i like you anymore, i sort of strongly dislike you more.

Are you happy with your life?
no. well parts are amazing, like my friends.

Can you handle the truth?
takes time, but yes

What was the last book you read?
jeremy clarkson, driven to distraction (A)

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
CURRY! haha, no. {:

Is there something you always wear?
pants

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
watching glee :D

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF FUCK OFF do i really need to write this, was all lies anyway

Did you have an exciting last weekend?
saturday was amaze :D

Have you ever crawled through a window?
ive climbed through a car windown

Have you ever dyed your hair?
non

Are you wearing a necklace?
havent even got dressed today, normally do though

What's something that can always make you feel better?
fred and phil

Will this weekend be a good one?
its almost over, next weekend is not planned yet, i think katherine is coming over to wallow in ice cream for valentines

What do you want right now?
a bath, a nice boyfriend and top gear {:

Have you ever worn the opposite sex's clothing?
regularly, its easily stolen

Look behind you, what do you see?
my bed, the shit on my wall

Have you ever worked in a food place?
yaya, was quite fun actually :P

What would you name your future daughter?
liferuiner
:D

Any summer plans for 2010?
i dont think that far ahead cos too much can change as ive learnt
probably broadstairs aint gonna happen, too much shit happened since last year
but hopefullies
spent with my buds, lots of sun, summer clothes, tanning, parties, shopping, goodtimes :]

Whats on your schedule for tomorrow?
double media re double it art.

Does anyone know your facebook password?
i do, i have to change it regularly

Would you like some cake?
nice bitta chocolate fudge or sticky toffee pudding would hit the spot :D

you CUNT, pizza hut

2010-02-07T00:23:00.000Z

i am actually so angry. its like this is the last straw, you've cut me and my friends out of your life completely, like you want to pretend i never happened, just a scratch on your whole dirty history. frankly it's not really fair, why do you suddenly think you're all better than me and that i'm not even worthy of being a facebook friend anymore?! this is a new low, even for you. sure you treated me shitly when it ended, but that means that all the good times before are forgotten and worthless? nice to know. really.

but i did have quite an amazing day today {: pizza hut was actually so amaze, i never thought i'd get that much fun sitting there for hours. i guess when you're with the right people it all just falls into place :D i love you guys, woo {: but, i did feel terrifically sick afterwards, especially after that ice cream, looked like diarrohea :L nom!
i skipped dinner, and had a bowl of shreddies whilst watching music and lyrics. i actually really like that film, i know people said it was rubbish, but i always kinda liked it, it's sweet. and the songs actually pretty good as well :P

oh, i take the first paragraph back. it appears you've deleted everyone.. hmm. well idk what happened, maybe you just don't like people and have developed agoraphobia and cant have friends anymore. or maybe your head got so big NO-ONE is good enough for you anymore! whatever.

omg the waitress today, she was called zoe! and she was way amazingly nice (L) d'aww. fate. the size of my food baby was outstanding, i really should have work the jimi hendrix top instead, would have hidden it. i also cannot believe just as we were reliving the 'bring me the curry' and such jokes, who should shout out 'ZOE!' but curry himself! haha! aww, couldn't stop laughing at that. rosie has summoning powers, i really do hope you say it in your sleep then wake up and he's there. and i hope they film it, LOL. they would so be a youtube hit :L

i was watching alan carr chatty man a few mo's ago and jordan/katie price was on it. she actually isn't so bad, although she does seem like shes tryna convince everyone her 'marriage' to alex is all perfect, early days. you were with pete for six years and now you're both getting shitlaods of money making up dirt on the other. whole things stupid. i really couldn't care less about your marriage, but as a person you seem okay :P

rfwrlessdfuiogbuwi

2010-02-05T21:43:00.000Z

just thinking, exactly this time last week i was watching the zambia show quite happily, not even knowing or expecting the finale to be so good (A) mmm, impressive stuff that was! about two hours later i was the most confused person on the planet. but im not going there because it's really not worth it. dickhead. oh, im sorry, cunt, if thats better.

so anyway, it was the redgrave show today :D

i can't believe they didn't even use my wig. ANGRY. but y'know, if i ever need a ginger plaited wig i've got one ;D and it's all for charity (A) plus i think our charity week must have gone pretty well tbh, we must have got at least £200, [i hope] xP

today i got in a spot of trouble over an angry girl who got a tad upset when i said to her she shouldn't talk about me when im standing right there. then in changing rooms she got really upset because everyone was screaming at her? me+some people who shouldnt have been blamed, got blamed. i accept my part in the fact i argued with her, but it was unfair, most of the people who got introuble for it weren't even involved at all. but i did feel quite bad after it all, i mean it must have been horrid having everyone take the piss out of you when they didn't even know what happened. \:

bluewater tomorrow, am actually looking forward to it :D
i am actually really dissapointed with this season of skins so far. last series i was like gripped really quickly, and just this season is kind of boring tbh.

need to go get into my pjs, then 8 out of 10 cats with a bitta chocolate (L) tonights planned as well :D

wow, you actually apologised!

2010-02-03T21:37:00.000Z

oh right. you're apologising. congratulations.

oh really? you could have been more nice about it? wow, thats almost noticing OTHER PEOPLE have emotions. never thought id see you do that.

whatever tbh. still empty. glad.

i still want to throw rocks at you. :D

but, now thats all done and completely over, im going to enjoy my life as a singleton, and on valentines day i am going to pig on icecream with katherine. any joiners? {;

wanna go back

2010-02-03T21:17:00.000Z

i wanna go back to last summer.

i wanna go back to the sleepover with cat kathi and jamielee. that day was so amazing, sunbathing in that field, going to the clay beach then the cotage pie, then the pokemon wars, and blomblom, easnt bored once, such an amazing day <3

i wanna go back to broadstairs. i wanna go back to that day, before everything went wrong, to the days when you were really nice to me and you hadnt turned into an arse. i actually loved that day, the train, the sunbathing, buying that boat and going out into the sea loads, having to spend loads of effort walking because the sand was heavy, so fun ^.^

i wanna go back to that really hot day at bluewater when we went paddling in the lakes, and spent hours just on that little pebble bit of bluewater.

i wanna go back to kat's sleepover birthday, eating loads of thai sweet chilli crisps, chicago+team america(even though i fell asleep:L) catherines endless 'smells', doing the physical attractiveness test, eating ice cream with pippa, the cookie cake :D

i wanna go back to my birthday. strange how social groups can change so much in less than a year. i remember those days, when all the people who came were my closest friends, some of you i dont even talk to anymore. but the day was so so good, before everything got complicated, its like i said, my birthday was the turning point of everything going wrong. hmm.

i know i cant go back to those times, so im just gonna be happy that they happened and they were times i was so happy. i miss the days when things weren't so complicated. but hey, i've had some amazing times in my life {:

cuppa tea + catherines mum? i think so.

2010-02-02T21:36:00.002Z

so heres my trail of emotions since you dumped me like shit.

confused -> regretful -> sad -> hysterical -> annoyed -> angry -> empty.

yesterday i wanted to go up to you, scream in your face and punch you in your stupid big face. now i couldnt care. ive got such amazing friends i dont need you, or your big head.

today i went to catherines house before walktall, and had a nice cup of tea and a chat with her mum, who is amazing. she said boys are stupid throw stones at them. to which rosie+kat responded, 'i will gladly join you in that'. then when i said to her why she said 'now why on earth could anyone think your not good enough. the thing is, boys at your age, they have the attention span of a gnat.' this not only made me laugh my head off but made me feel worth something. and i realised, i dont need you, ive got everyone i need right by me.
then we got macdonalds, and went to walktall, where rosie became phillip burgerneese, a gay polishman who pooed because he got poked by george mackey in english. then we filmed it, couldnt stop laughing <3

i love everyone who's been there for me while ive been a depressed blob.
rosie, thank you for being there to talk, moan and cry to, then nearly punching him in the face for me. ♥
katherine, thank you for telling him exactly what you thought, and reassuring me when i got into hysterics in your car. ♥
katarina, thank you for being there when it happened. if you werent there i dont know what would have happened. but i bet it would have been worse. and thank you for not going on about it and letting me make digs at myself+him all night. ♥
sam, thank you for the square of aero when i needed chocolate therapy. ♥
aimee, thank you for making me laugh when i was hardly even talking. ♥
amy cookie, thank you for your hugs. they are the best hugs in the world, so reassuring. ♥
catherine/catherines mum, thank you for making me feel worth something, and making me laugh, and buying macdonalds, always good ♥
frank, (strange one :L) but you did actually make me feel better, even though i could tell you were struggling with what to say, lol. ♥
amy, thank you for being there. making me feel not alone. ♥
katarinas mum, thankyou for icecream and laughter, lol. ♥

so yeh,thanks guys :D and sorry if ive been hard to talk to or a bit of a misery. im done now.

2010-02-01T12:45:00.001Z

if?

2010-01-30T23:13:00.001Z

this is gonna be a bit sad. so dont be annoyed at me cos i warned you \:

i went yog earlier. in the car everyone was saying i looked sad and in the end everything just came out, and it was first time in ages i've been like that, and i hated it. i hated it, i felt so bloody feeble cos i couldnt stop. my breathing was all horrible and i felt so crappy.
then i got to yog, and i had cryeyes. which made everything worse because everyone knew i was sad, and this just made me cry more, so much so that i wouldnt even open my mouth to speak because i would have just gone bleurgh and crack. i tried to hold it in, and i think i did pretty well. the strange thing is i dont know where it was all coming from because that morning i'd been fine. i guess its just when everyone knows you're sad cos you cant hide it that you just let out. but i am actually so thankful to all my friends. so much. i know i was pretty crappy but you were there for me and it just made me feel so much better, now lonely.
and i got home and into my room and just broke. everything i'd been holding in through yog just came out and poured down my face and i couldnt stop. and thats where i am now. but i know its not gonna help anything at all because you dont give a shit. its probably my fault anyway.
if i were skinnier
if i were prettier
if my belly was flatter, muscular
if my eyes were bigger
if my eyelashes were longer
if my nose was pointier
if my balance was daintier
if my hair was trendier, smoother, generally nicer
if my boobs were bigger
if my thighs were muscular
if my legs were thinner
if my fingers were slender
if my feet were prettier
if my smile was cuter
if my teeth were whiter
if i was nicer
if my face was shorter
if my cheeklines were bonier
if my eyebrows were shapier
if my nose was less shiney
if i had nicer legs
if my skin was smoother
if
maybe
maybe

shit happens.

i hate myself, im so pityful. why?!

roomtidy/valentines/friday

2010-01-28T22:31:00.000Z

i just tidied my room
and vaccuumed it
i used to be really obsessed with keeping my carpet clean, but recently i've got really slobby and cba. to be fair when you compare my room to some peoples it looks good. but now it looks better, rearranged+dusted the shelf, tidied desk, vaccuumed carpet, made bed, and stuck up any pictures that had fallen down. so now im ready for katarina to not think i live in a pigsty. however her rooms not always tidy itself ;D the amount of times i've gone round there and shes been like 'you cant go upstairs, its a dump!' ;D

im actually really looking forward to tomorrow, i might have a footlong sub, if i have enough money. im poor atm, like always. need to save for kats+sams presents, +possibly amy's, then theres a bit of a break cos its my birthday, then until rosies/franks/dans/glens/catherines birthdays im free. today was jacks birthday, happy birthday jacko {: even though you wont read this muaha.

but oh jesus, all the stuffs going up for valentines day. i hate valentines day. mheeeeeer. i guess for some people its cute and all that, but in general i just dont like it. for all the others ive been single, and i actually had such a good valentines day last day with the bowling and secret cupid. anyway, when you're single its like eurgh, im single on a day where everyone else is loved up, how shit do i feel? and if you're iar then theres like a pressure that you have to do something. and get each other silly little teddies and shiz. which i guess is nice, but for me just another thing to worry about messing up and doing wrong. bleeeeurgh.
this does not mean i am against relationships or i do not like my relationship cos i do, i just purely dont like valentines day. maybe this years will be good though, you never know ;D

skins started again tonight but ima watch it online because i dont get e4 in my room (N) and i dont wanna be up late anyways xD
(K)

hi my names zoe and these are the answers

2010-01-28T18:59:00.001Z

my rooms a mess. i need to clean it cos katarinas here tomorrow night. poofaces. this will delay the cleaning ;D

The Basics:
Name: Zoe King
School: Meophaaaaaaam
Nationality: English. + a teeny bitta scottish
Hobbies: im a full time paedophile

Love Life:
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yahuh
Do you like someone?: yeeees
Does anyone like you?: id hope so
Have you ever kissed anyone?: er, yes.
Hugged anyone in the past week?: i've hugged lotsa people (A)
Ever French kissed anyone?: not sure

Friendships:
Who is your best friend(s)?: rosieee +kathi+kat+sam+jack
How long have you known them?: since the very very end of year two, but didnt speak until year 3 xD, since reception, since year , since year 7, since i were 4. :D
Where did you meet them?: she moved to my school
Did you lose any friends this year?: ive lost a few. but tbh they changed. or they just turned out to be an arsehole.
Gain any?: ive gained a lot a lot, they're amaze
Meet a special friend?: as in what i think this means? er, sort of.
Did you hang out with any friends in the past week?: last weekend i spent with sam/kat, glen/crystal+loads of random peoples, then rosie. + school obvs.

2009 (New Years):
Did you do anything at midnight?: ran around katarinas house screaming really loudly :')
Who did you spend it with?: katarina , katherine and an assortment of pets
Did you have any resolutions?: yes, 'stop being a whore' thanks katherine. :L

2009 (Valentines Day):
Did you have a Valentine?: jodie dixon i think :L how times have changed
Did you send out any cards/chocolates/etc?: we did this secret valentines day thing where we all gave homemade presents, i gave rosie some heart shaped cookies, and i've still got my zoe doll. the head fell off. oooh dear
Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend on this day?: no, none of us did, those were the simple days :D

2009 (Summer):
Did you go on vacation?: non
Did you hang out on the beach with friends?: yeaaa, broadstairs twice
How long was your summer break?: 6 1/2 amaaazing weeks
Did you get a tan?: oh, yes (L)
Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend during the summer?: sort of. but not officially til right at the end

2009 (Halloween):
Did you go trick or treating? plans got cancelled cos kats mum was ill (N) rosie stayed over
If so, who did you go with?: na
Did you dress up?: no :(
Was it fun?: broadditch was funtimes :D

2009 (Christmas):
Who did you spend it with?: family obvs
Did Santa come to your house?: as he always does :)
Did you stay up until midnight on Christmas Eve?: dont think so, if i did it would have just been on my laptop :L what a fun life i lead

2009 (Your Birthday):
Who did you spend it with?: eeeeh, rosie+kathi+katarina+sam+georgecapon+stefan+john+catherine+aimee+charlie+georgemackey+anyone ive forgotten
What did you do?: camer parrrrk <3What did you get?: lotsa stuffs, clothes jewellery cd's chocolate moneys etcWhen is it?: 2nd MaayHave You Evers:[x] Kissed someone (anywhere)[x] Hugged someone[x] Electricuted yourself[x] Climbed more than 60 feet[x] Made a Youtube video[x] Lied to a loved one[x] Had a nosebleed[ ] Gotten airsick[x] Been so bored, you just ate food[x] Not brushed your teeth for a day[x] Not showered for a day[] Eaten Korean BBQ[x] Drank alchohol[x] Smoked[] Had sex[x] Had a pet[] Ran a marathon[x] Had a boyfriend/girlfriend[x] Punched someoneName 5 things you would like to say to people (without naming their names):1. i want to see you2. i miss you, i hope you're okay3. you stupid arrogant stuck up arse, stop acting like we're worthless and that you're mr perfect, because you are really not all that. trust me.4. thats wrong, frankly you need to make your mind up. and you, sort it out!
5. SORT OUT YOUR ROOTS, and shower! looking at you makes me feel physically sick thankyou.

Name 4 people you can trust with anything:
1. rosie
2. my mum?
3. jack
4. owain+kathi+sam+kat (could not pick, so cheated, muaha!)

Name 3 things you really want:
1. friday night not please
2. you two to really not get together, yuck
3. one of your hoodies, :(

Name 2 people you’ve known the longest (not counting family):
1. jack holmes
2. rosie lockett

Name 1 wish you have for 2010:
1. for it to just be a good year, and for me not to fuck up too much

5 Do’s:
1. Do you play any instruments?: no, i fail miserably
2. Do you play any sports?: only in p.e and they're really not taken seriously
3. Do you believe in 2012?: i believe in the year, not all the shit that supposedly will happen in it
4. Do you like cheese?: sure i like cheese, specially on toast
5. Do you honestly like Obama?: oh-bama, oh-sama, i kid, he seems okay {:

4 If’s:
1. If you were to get $1 Million for breaking up with your boyfriend/girlfriend (if you have one), would you?: what id do, is id tell him i was breaking up with him for a week or so, so i could take the million, then afterwards get back with him and then have a million pound. im smart ;D
2. If you were to get $50,000 for killing a rat, would you?: er yes, like a million rats are killed every day from roadkill and being eaten by other animals, deal with it. and id be set with my £50,000. and if i do it humanely im probably doing it a favour compared to a lot of ways it could die
3. If you were to choose between your best friend and your brother/sister, who would you choose?: rosie, lol. i could live without my sister.
4. If you were to choose between coke/pepsi or sprite/7up, which would you choose?: coke, never gets old

3 How’s:
1. How old do you want to be when you get married?: erm, at least 20.
2. How many siblings do you have?: 1
3. How did your Christmas go (2009)?: was goodtimes :D

2 When’s:
1. When did you have your first kiss?: think it was a dare. wasnt nice lol
2. When did you last have a piece of cake?: yesterday while i was watching desperate housewives ;D

1 What:
1. What do you really want to achieve in life?: i just wanna do as much shit as i can, cram it all in y'know

happy

2010-01-25T22:12:00.003Z

i wasnt gonna post this, i was gonna just make it a document but y'know, may as well.
if it gets too personal i wont post it.

so here goes;

things that make me happy. this list could be long as my mind wanders.
the butterfly feeling
having a really warm bed when it's cold
my friends + family
moaning about everything to fred
phil
taylor swifts songs
music in general?
when people talk to me who i want to talk to
drawing
sticking stuff on my wall
my scrapbook
hugs
random kisses
coloured glue
ben and jerrys chocolate fudge brownie
laughing hysterically
private jokes that only me + my friends understand :')
blogging ;D
facebook
talking to people who make me laugh and always cheer me up
rosie
my phone
random cute unexpected texts
pasta dn pizza
SUBWAY, oh subway <3holding handsholding hands whilst running :Drunning at nightwalktallEATING. nom!funny t-shirts with cute designswhen i feel good about myselfwhen i have good hair/skin/both daysblutac.browsing shops, having money letters + notesyou.wednesdays, cos i have artsnakelaughing at people who have really bad pictures (this is mean, but we all do it.)stealing glens hoodiesbus chatsWYR, when you get a really funny responseruffling george's hair so he gets annoyed at merandom, isolated fields living somewhere that has trees and grass (i take this for granted far too much)
amy cooke's hugs
getting ready with my friends, and feeling all pretty (A)
deep talks that aren't scary
the nervous feeling when sending something important, and the relief when they send the response you wanted back
trains
collecting train tickets
collecting bus tickets
collecting crap for my wall/scrapbook/book
the feeling when you've just cleaned your teeth and they're all smooth
when my cat does random funny stuff
getting lost in a really deep good book
laughing at myself because im a muggle
when you feel better after crying
when you wake up and you get that feeling that todays gonna be good
lay ins
being able to wear nice pretty clothes in summer, and then being able to wear loads of layers in winter
katarinas house
katarinas mum
katarinas mums cooking
katarinas fireplace
katarina ;D
when time flies by cos you're having so much fun
when i meet up with all my family and we eat too much food
swimming stupidly, flumes
music that matches your mood
when you get the urge to just randomly start dancing around your room cos the song thats come on is really dancy
bitching, and gossiping and such
yellow car ing, when you punch hem first (:
when the skies really blue
when you wake up to the fact schools closed cos of snow
watching pokemon
when im in a really creative mood and get really inspired
when rosies mum does silly immature stuff like when she kept going on about compare the meerkat
the feeling when you get a supply teacher and the lessons easy
finding an item of clothing you really like
when everything fits nicely into the bag that goes with your outfit
watching chick flicks at sleepovers and knowing all the words
+ then dragging guys to see chick flicks with you
stealing peoples popcorn
throwing popcorn at other people
when you and you're friends are alone in the cinema (only happened once, was awesome{:)
bracelets
having a situation where its perfect to quote mean girls
being able to eat the food you have a craving for
lighters
fireworks
soupy
living in an age where tampons have been invented and women dont have to use bits of yucky rag, mmm
relentless
+ alcohol
sentimental stuff
when you get really cool stuff in slinkies (this year i got a slinky+a stapler, win!)
wednesdays
orange wednesdays
free texts
checkered shirts :D
my lappytoppy
nice smelling shampoo, that you can smell for ages
nice smelling perfume, that never smells yicky
going into boots and spraying all the perfumes onto the little strips, and judging them all
taking photos
my mum + dad
campfires/fires
candles, nice smelling ones
the smell of when you blow out a candle
incense sticks
when its your birthday and everyones really nice to you and you're like woo!
pikachu
webcam
webcam conversations
omegle
my german friend who i met on omegle
water
swimming
the beach
broadstairs
the boat we bought at broadstairs (:
spongebob
jeremy clarkson
top gear?
prawn crackers
cotchdays
pigging out on junk for a day
my collage wall
hot chocolate
funfairs!
when loads of people you know go on the dodgems and you're all hitting each other loads ;D
simple things
when people tell you you look nice
my mushroom hair
mcflurries
bluewater
the spinny chairs at bluewater
the breadsamples at bluewater,
walking around with sam, just eating samples
pretzels
paperchase cute stuff
NEWLOOK
camping
when 3 and more people try and sleep in my room, and we end up laughing so much
benvolio, the alligator joe got me (A)
lightsabers
pokemon cards
happy endings.

im gonna stop now...

happiness? +anorexia/fat

2010-01-25T19:19:00.000Z

ive been watching anorexia stories on youtube, and its really opened my eyes. especially this one;
http://www.youtube.com/user/LouFederer

however, theres then the complete opposite which is what me and rosie were watching about the fat people going to special fat people dance classes and squeezing their stomach flab so their boobs are wobbling out their tops. yuck, its not okay to be fat, it's bad for you! just because you're all grouping together like a 'fatties unite' group, doesnt make it right!
i am not in any way being mean to fat people. it just angered me watching them all say it's good to be fat and implying we should all way 15 stone +.

but im going to be happy staying in the middle. neither is good. neither.

today i actually listened in assembly as it was vaguely interesting, good ol' miss wade! anyways, it was about happiness and everything that makes us happy as people. and i always seem to get sad about stuff (im kind of overdramatic). and im going to list all the stuff that makes me happy + start being grateful+cheerful for what i HAVE got. because what i have got, i've realised, is good.

party on down + kittens + glen.

2010-01-24T00:12:00.000Z

hello peoples :D

i got back like 15 minutes ago, and played with cocoa+pixie for a bit, which was rather entertainging because they chase anything. ANYTHING. even my head. ;D and they are now kind of running around the room chasing random stuff and sniffing glen who has just kind of mumbled euuuurgh, and stroked what i think was cocoa. yeah cocoa. he's is very tired bless, because i discovered today he is a rather massive lightweight :P shameful tbh.

but i met loads of people who id only known on facebook or not at all which was funtimes :') i hugged peoples, and scrounged off everyones drinks. mainly nathans and tims, who i found out is only 15, looks like 19? was AMAZED, i tell you amazed!

i can hear constant trickling from the fishtank, mer. both cats have gone. i am unnerved, they may attack my poor feet at any moment :O

omg, i just remembered, we was crossing the road on the way back to the train station, AND HE FELL OVER IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. aha, goodtimes :')

anyways, ima go, glen appears to have collapsed/layed down on the living room floor. i think im going to go and have to and poke him to see if he's alive. oph wait he is, he just got back up, oh no, down again! :')
x

informations

2010-01-23T18:53:00.001Z

hello dudeys
i was given a laptop so thought i might blog
i am at glenny's
i think we're leaving soon
crystal has lost the invite, smart!

total wipeout if on in the background.
and cocoa is sniffing my foot. woo.

;D

i had pie for dinner

2010-01-22T21:33:00.002Z

its right, i did. yummyness (:

i stuck some more stuff on my wall as well, i cut up a few pages of last years calendar (spongebob;D) and they are now dotted around my room :) my room is a giant collage, soon i will run out of space |: i worry about that day constantly, i will have to take stuff down and this will be heartbreaking (U)

i have this weekend planned now (funny how plans slot into place the day before they're gonna happen:P) ; town with sam+kat tomorrow :D then bus to glens, train to party, then party, then stay at glens, then stagger home tired and possibly (but hopefully not) hungover on sunday. BOOYA.

i got home today and my dad was half asleep on the sofa cos he had to stay at home all day as our fridge was being delivered. i made the most of this,:L he agreed for kat staying next week, my plans for tomorrow, and to pick us up from the zambia show, am happy now. but the fridge is all silver and moderny, i like it, its giant :L and squarey. muaha!

i am off to go get changed into my pajamas now, and clean my teeth etc, then 8 out of 10 cats at 10, then probably back on the old bookface. jesus, my life is so thrilling! :')

scatterbrained injectiony arty thursdayeyfridayey artness.

2010-01-21T19:05:00.000Z

i was sitting on my bed listening to nickelback earlier, and i realised its incredibly annoying when your drawings come out wrong.
i mean im not bad at drawing, like to think im pretty good cos i like art, but i get so pissed off when nothing comes out right.

and then i went downstairs and ate pizza and watch simpsons.
goodtimes :D

i need to have a bath soon though, because i smell.
yesterday in form, mr sheaf came in saying that after we'd had form the previous day and his YA had gone in the room had stunk of b.o. then he started talking about getting to our age and needing to shower more, oh it was hilarious :')
and today everyone was kind of depressed? all the girls in my form were pissed off with stuff, and in p.e it was like WOA, need a happy vibe! so generally when this happens i start singing or dancing, which i did in form and p.e. i think people are sort of used to this now. i had a little chat with amy in form about why she was pissed off, and personally, the reason for this is good, and to YOU, i think you're a dick. when you're in the wrong don't shift the blame to other people. and you're in my film trailer, YUCKY YUCK YUCK! seriously, you put everyone in a bad mood, pooface. and the other reason, you brought it on yourself, don't say stuff like that and then wonder why you get in trouble. its your own fault love.

so i danced around form for a bit, then went to p.e where i got lectured about my effort. I WAS JOINING IN. you just weren't watching. mheeer. besides, i dont wanna do pe anyway, i dont enjoy running around a muddy field getting shoes I LIKE dirty and kicking a ball that never goes in the right direction for me. i suck at football, deal with it! if you want me to do well, give me something i like doing. there are tons of sports i like, yet you chose to do the one i hate the most. POOFACE BIGNOSE. i hopes we're inside for pe tomorrow. or at least doing something FUN.
:D

rantyness over.

today felt like a friday which i thought meant id get a bitta fish and chips, but then it was thursday so i had curry and watkins went home :(((( sad stuff. but tomorrow is friday then the next day is saturday which means there's no school. and what happened to the snow we were supposed to get wednesday?! disspointed.
oh yeah arts going well, i got my stencil done in the double lesson, but had an injection which was okay. made me all woozy, like i was gonna go sleep or faint, just a weird feeling. but im getting so many injections recently im kind of bored of them. well not bored, just past caring.

saturday i have a party im going to, but no idea what to wear goddammit. i will find something though, will have to. probably just wear jeans and a top cos i gotta get bus to station, then a train. plus i dont wanna wear anything particularly nice in case i get puked on or something. yumyumyum.
but i am sort of looking forward to it. i will probably regret this on sunday though. if you see what i mean there.. :L

i think im done now, sorry if this blog was kind of scatterbrained.

bring me the curry

2010-01-18T21:22:00.001Z

i had a good weekend yes i did {: saturday night was jokes ;D all the curry, and truths, and shiz, good times. then bluewater was rather fun. saw all the people we knew in like 10 seconds of sitting at a table. including that :L

then owain and jak came and they always know how to make me laugh yeah, got lots of hugs and chats. apart from the smoking, thats yuck yuck. and me and sam say this everytime :')

overall a good day sunday :D

~~monday though~~, bleeeeurgh. i always look ESPECIALLY tired on monday's and i feel like a zombie :')

tomorrow is walktall, but am gonna be there late because of smelly katarina and her drama. which i bet involves effing mia being huffy. but i'l get to watch i hopes, muahaha.
MIA DOES NOT APPROVE.
back off ne-yo, mia's back ;D
shes so badmans.
oh , im in a good mood :')

just vaccuumed my room, and made my bed. which now i think about it was kind of stupid since in like half an hour i'l just be sleeping in it again. but i dont have time in mornings D: godammit.

effing nunga nungas

2010-01-15T21:53:00.002Z

i love sickipedia, makes me officially lol :D

i have my weekend properly planned now, me and rosie are gonna sleep at sams saturday night, and then bluewater with them +sam/olly on sunday {: i am reserving judgement on that case, but im pretty sure i know whats gonna happen. but im opened to being proved wrong ;)

i laaaav rosie, shes always right. we should all try to be happy, it will make life better. its hard to do sometimes, but where has being sad and hateful ever got anyone? (not focussed at anyone, *ahem*) plus she's always besen there and only ever wants the best for people. thank you for everything (:♥

one thing thats bugging me so much atm, on 4od there is an ad, it comes up a lot. it says, i quote, "have you wondered, why all supercars are two seaters" then shows some sort of crappy new smartcar i think it is, im too angered at this point to care. NOT ALL SUPERCARS ARE TWO SEATERS. not to mention the fact the car you're advertising is not even nice, and has no right to casually throw out the window all the lovely 4 seated supercars out there. i want this advert sued please.

my room needs a tidy. i went through a phase where it was permanently tidy, vaccuumed and organised. i think that was the holidays where i had people over lots. now it needs a vaccuum, and another tidy. it gets messy so easily :'( stupid small roomness. but i do got a telly on my wall now, BOOYA. and my collages on my walls, get more crap added every day, i love it. i just worry for the day i run out of wallspace :|

everything will sort itself out, i am young, i am learning :D and im gonna have as much fun as i can tbh.

and now i am off to clean my teeth then snuggle up in my duvet whilst watching 8 out of 10 cats, a good night to you!

if life's a game i'm losing

2010-01-15T16:16:00.001Z

i think im pretty much losing faith in all the things i thought i wouldnt lose faith in. so much is going on around me, and now my life is starting to plummet towards the cold ground too.

somethings you don't want to know. but at the same time you're glad you know them, because it least you know the truth. which is probably one of the least told things these days.

in my school there is a game that is actually not blocked on the computers so i play it a lot :P and today it made me realise something. the aim of the game is to keep climbing the blocks without being crushed or have the acid or whatever that red liquid is catch up with you. its a strangely good metaphor for life.
let me explain what i mean.
i am the little white rectangle that is climbing, climbing, climbing as high as possible. it dodges all the massive blocks coming down towards it and even the little ones, which still make the difference. and then, eventually, you get crushed. after dodging so much, one thing crushes you. to nothing. and if you're lucky and you dodge them all then eventually the acid will get you, no matter how long it takes.

it makes perfect sense to me.

i wish life was simple, people couldnt lie, and i'd kill to read peoples minds for a day to find out what they really think.

i know things will sort themselves out, but with the people in this world existing, and acting the way they do, eventually one of those big blocks will crush me.

i miss the simple life

2010-01-14T22:09:00.000Z

eurgh, poofaces.
i figure out exactly what im going to say to you, and then you just stop me. why does everything ruin everything. its so hard to balance everything nowadays.

oh right, you dont know, now theres a surprise.

life used to be simple, i miss that.
and i miss owain. its been too long since ive seen him.

today i'm not really sure what's truth

2010-01-14T17:59:00.000Z

i hate saying something that you didnt mean to sound the way it did. especially over the internet, because people can't hear how you're saying it.

and then there are all these different consequences, because every reaction has an equal and opposite reaction. and now i'm so confused, theres scraps of information coming at me from all directions and i don't even know what's going on here anymore, except everyone agrees that you are a dick. lies are based around truth, truth is based around lies. i know what you are telling me is truth, but i don't know how much. because people lie without meaning to.

and the most annoying thing is when somethings good, then without you even realising it all falls apart around you. like you've had your eyes closed, but purely because you weren't actually there for something that involved you greatly.

confused much? i know i am ;D

im bored.

2010-01-14T16:29:00.000Z

Ten Things i wish i could say to ten different people (but don't say their name):
1) it's gonna be okay.
2) talk to me first please ;D
3) im sorry.
4) i don't like you, piss off. :L
5) you're a dick, stop saying all this arseholey stuff.
6) you're amazing, thankyou.
7) don't ignore me.
8) i miss you.
9) i know you're lying.
10) don't you get when i'm ignoring you ffs? i know you don't have any friends or anything but when someone hasn't spoken to you for 2 months at all then you should get the message that repeatedly saying 'hi u ok' to me ISN'T going to make me want to talk to you. you're a creep, leave me alone.

Nine things about myself:
1) im loud, bossy and stubborn.
2) i know quite a lot of people, and always randomly see people i know when i'm out
3) im not very smart, but im pretty sick of people telling me this
4) i only have one slipper on atm because i can't seem to find the other one
5) the only subject at school i like all the time is art
6) but my personal sketchpad is full of random doodlings
7) forever am i looking for 'numero 11'
8) my cats name is fred. i love him lots.
9) i make a lot of mistakes. a lot.

Eight ways to win my heart:
1) make me laugh.
2) care.
3) hugs. a lot of hugs.
4) talk.
5) sentimental stuff, i like all that {:
6) don't be clingy or plan my life for me, or i will just feel really trapped.
7) be my friend too.
8) don't tell me i can do better, that pisses me off. its my decision whether i want better.

Seven things that cross my mind alot:
1) eurgh, fuck off i dont actually like you!
2) oh crap, i actually just said that..
3) i'm wrong. proved stupid again.
4) im hungry, foodfoodfood<3
5) wtf was that?!
6) talk to me first because otherwise i dont know what to say :/
7) oh just shut up fgs!

Six things I do before I fall asleep:
1) shut my computer down
2) turn my tv off at the mains
3) read a little bit of whatever book im reading atm
4) plump the pillows ;D
5) think about stuff thats happened/happening/going to happen
6) er, pull the duvet over me?

Five people who mean alot to me:
1) rosie
2) katherine
3) katarina
4) samm
5) glen

Two things you want to do before you die:
1) see the world
2) live.

One confession:
i just peed my pants.

gonna be a long long way to happy

2010-01-13T16:54:00.001Z

i've learnt what comes up must come down.
nothing lasts.
and i take too much for granted.
you don't know what you've got until its gone.

im amazing at stories, and a load of random bursts of thought you probably wont understand

2010-01-11T21:31:00.001Z

i like talking like this. its strange how bad stuff brings good stuff out.
i guess i should remember in life that no matter how much crap is thrown at you something good will always come out.

i told glen a story today when he asked me what happened in the bath:P
well i think i must have died by drowning for a time, because i found myself in a field somewhere. it was strange, the grass was all blue, but sort of mouldy? like really old cheese but slightly different, in a grassy sort of cheese way. so i was slightly unnerved by all this, so i got out of my bathtub and went to have a look around. i found a hammock, that looked like it was woven from unicorn fur, because of the glistening substance - it sparkled in the sunlight. i ignored the hammock because i didnt really feel tired, and walked further away from my bathtub into the distance. i found myself in a strange forest, except all the treetrunks were made of gold, and had leaves that were all black and singed, they smelt funny. and then all of a sudden i was surrounded by ghosts. they didnt look threatening, just your typical ghosts really. kind of transparent, and whitish. these ghosts came to told me all this stuff about the future and the past, and idk if i should tell you because it was pretty scary stuff tbh. im actually scarred for life, and now i know all the answers im not sure i want to live anymore.
but anyway,

i couldnt find the ending, goddamn you stupid facebook chat.

i have injections tomorrow, fml.
eurgh i hate when you dont know what to say. fml.

i need to pack my stuff for tmoorrow. eurgh, well at least these injections get me out of maths i guess.

me hairs wet, dry already.

im scared.

bye.

i feel lame writing this, but i was bored and i saw bonnie did it

2010-01-10T19:15:00.001Z

Who is this person you call your boyfriend? sven ;D
Tell me about him; age, height, skin color, body type, stereotype? 15, 5'8? ..white? SKINNY, erm..skater?(hes got hate for stereotypes)
What color eyes does he have? Do you like this color? bluey greyish. sure i like em.
What color is his hair? Is it the same color as your's? its blondey, a bit lighter than mine.
Do you like his looks or personality better? depends what mood im in and what personality he's wearing. generally personality though if i had to chose
What is the color he wears most in his wardrobe? lumberjack jackets ;D erm idk, every colour tbh. no-one wears one colour really.
Does he have a higher or a deeper voice? i dont really notice i guess cos im used to it..but in the middle id say
Is he too skinny, too fat, or just right; in your opinion? hes skinny, but without the 'too' in front, because he eats tons and stays the same :P
Does he have any piercings or tattoos of any kind? non
Do you approve of him getting more of those if he has them already? erm, if it looks good im open [:
Do many girls think he's attractive or do they not have interest in him? idk, i try not to dwell on all that stuff
Does he belong to the bad boy, artist, over-achiever, etc. persona? if i had to chose out of them i'd say artist i think
Do you ever lie to him when you say he looks cute, adorable, etc? im a bad liar anyway normally, so no
Does he have a better smile or nice eyes? never really compared, they're kind of too different
Is he taller than you? Does he weigh more than you do? yes, and no- ¬.¬
Where does he get the majority of the clothes he wears? nathan ;D lol
Do many people stereotype him? What do they label him as anyway? if he was stereotyped it would probably be under 'skater' because he, well he skates. but he hates being stereotyped into anything. even though he shouts 'greb' out a lot to other people. hmmm, LOL ;D
Is he muscular? If so, do you like him this way? not muscular. but he regularly shoves me :L idk, i wouldnt want someone really really muscly, be kind of overwhelming and scary for me
Do you know if he's ever had braces before? Does he have them now? i dont think he ever has
Describe his hairstyle to me: flickeh. and smoooooooooooooth ;)
What would you say is the best quality in his personality? he makes me laugh, and he can be really sweet (sometimes..:P)
Is he sweet to you most of the time, or is he mean towards you? he can be so sweet, but sometimes it pisses me off when hes mean. but normally he isnt, so its all good{:
Use three adjectives to describe his personality: funny, cute and NERDY(L)
Is he sweet? Caring? Thoughtful? Deep? Honest? Emotional? Mean? depends what moods hes in and who hes with.
Does he ever go out drinking? Is this something you're concerned about? yes, and no. everyone drinks:D
Does he have any nasty habits? What are they? molesting my cat ;)
If you had to choose an emotion to describe him, what would it be? hmm, happy?
Is he more spontaneous or romantic? they can be the same thing a lot of the time. but definitely spontaneous :P
Is he more serious or funny? funny (:
Does he ever really open up emotionally to you? Is he that way to everyone? occasionally. & no.
When he buys you something, is it more of a value or thought concept? ..neither
Does he ever take you to sweet and romantic places? no
Was he ever mean at you at some point? yes
Does he truly care about how you feel and what you have to say? id like to think he cares. but you can never really truly know because you never know what someones really thinking do you?
Does he listen to you often or does he tune you out? like i said, you never know what someone else is truly thinking.
Is he usually more optomist or pessimistic? normally optimistic. but sometimes pessimistic
Does he intentionally try to hurt your feelings? Do you know why he does it? sometimes, but i dont think its intentionally + because he wants to be a badmans. ;D
Does he ever play around with your mind? hes confusing
Does he treat you like you're royalty? somtimes (:
Does he have the ability to kill you emotionally? nope, i wouldnt let him.
When did you two begin dating anyways? 8th january, but for the first time 3rd september
Did he ask you out or were you the one who asked him out? first time he asked me, second time he asked but in a kind of non storybook way, lol.
How long had you two known each other before you started dating? like, 2 years? i didnt know him well or talk to him much though, he knew kathi/kat/rosie more before he knew me
Was it love at first sight, or do you even believe in that stuff? i dont believe in it. it sounds bad but i dont. purely 'falling in love' with someone because of what they look like is a really crappy foundation in my opinion.
How long had you had a crush on him before you started dating? lol, these are all hard to answer because its the second time. erm, first time like 3 weeks? and second time, well ever since the start of them 3 weeks still. but plus about 4 months ;D lol, sounds really confusing.
Did he/you say yes automatically, or what it a 'I'll think about it' thing? it took time, but he asked + i said yes because that time i was ready. and the second time i said yes instantly as well.
When did you two first kiss? erm, i dont remember dates of stuff like that, i forget too easily
Had you all kissed before you actually officially started dating? no
When was your first date and where was it at? official 'date' was double with kathi+will too see fame so at bluewater. but we meet up normally with people more tbh
Do you all ever still go on dates to this place? bluewater is where everyone goes:P
Does he ever hold you hand in public, or do you all avoid this? i like holding hands{:
Are you all into the 'public display of affection' thing? no, i dont think its that nice to get off with people in front of everyone tbh
Does he walk around with his arm around your waist? sometimes
When you all are kissing, does he ever play with your hair? i like it when he plays with my hair, but he normally doesnt. unless hes messing it up, which he enjoys. *sigh* :L
Does he ever intentionally try to embarass you? sometimes he just insults me because thats what people do to me, im 'so easy to insult' but i dont normally get embaressed because im used to it :P
Were either one of you a virgin before you met each other? both id hope.. :P
Are you both virgins now, or have you all had sex before? virggggggins, ;D
Is this relationship more based on love or lust? love, now. id hope.
Is there anything about him that you absolutely cannot stand? his casual loud swearing in crowded places. normally the ones with little children present. i dislike that
Do you feel closer to him than anyone else you associate with? romantically i do obvs, but not emotionally. hes not the one id go to with my problems
Tell me exactly in detail how he makes you feel: confused, hopeful, and happy.
Could you ever see yourself living with him? i dont look far into the future tbh, it scares me too much, i think living with any one of my friends would be pretty entertaining, him included:P
Do you two even live in the same town/go to the same school? 15 minuteish drive, same school
Would you say you're truly in love with this boy? im 14, i doubt i know what love is yet. but what i know of love so far, is good. :D
When did you start feeling this way about him, if you have before? recently.
Have you ever kissed him underwater, in a tree or below the stars? no
Have you two ever sat and watched a sunset or sunrise together? never officially watched it, seen it though
Do you two share a lot of the same interests? Examples, please? some. pokemon ;D and we have anough in common to get by, but enough differences to make it interesting {: if you were exactly the same it would be boring.
How often would you say he makes you cry, if he does at all in any way? not often. recently i've cried though. but i had reason :P im not really a crying person tbh
Has he ever written you a sweet note that made you cry happy tears? ive had notes of random drawings, they didnt make me cry though :L
Do you seriously think this relationship could last forever? im too young for forever.
Is this really more than puppy love? whats puppy love exactly, i thought it was teenage love?
How often does he call you and how often do you call him? he never calls me because he never has credit, when unless hes on his homephone. sometimes i phone him, normally when we're out and i need to though
Has he ever let you wear any of his clothes before? Which items? hoodies, hats, earmuffs, shoes, coats, i go on:P
If you go to school with him, do you two have any classes together? same school, different years+different houses, so none.
Has he ever given you a hickey? er, no..
Have you ever given him one before? No.
Have you two ever been on a date to an amusement park? non, if love to though :P
When you watch movies together, does he hold you close in his arms? i havent watched that many movies with him, more tv. and then yes [: but i like being held close with or without movies its nice
Describe how he smells: Is it good or bad? yummeh ;D and when he sleeps over of about a ton of my deodorant, he has a thing with knocking them all off the shelf then using them all. :L
When your sad, broken down and crying, what does he do to comfort you? hes not normally there
Have you two ever shared food or a drink with one another? i steal his food normally. :P
Does he make you feel like you have butterflies in your stomach? a lot less than he used to, the butterfly feeling fades after a while :( but still somtimes is there :D
Would you say your love is completely cliche' or simple? Simple.
Has anyone ever accused you of being obsessed with him? no. im not obsessive, lol
Do you two ever go to the movies? Do you just make out the whole time? yes, no. i like watching the films lol
Does he actually have the ability to make you laugh? all the time
What would you say if your last dying words were to him? er, in the movies they always say 'i love you' in a really strained voice. id like to do that, im cool (H)
Do you consider him a part of you? everyone you nkow is a part of ykn
How do his kisses make you feel? disgusted¬¬ how do you think?
Does he ever take up for you and defend you? hes stuck up for me before
Would you say he's overbearing when it comes to protecting you? nope. i wouldnt want that anyway.
What is the sweetest thing he's ever done towards you? its the little things really isnt it
Do you all have a song that symbolizes your relationship? taylor swift always has something that sums up how im feeling.
Do you ever keep the notes he writes and things he makes you? i keep everything and put it in my book/scrapbook/wall. im a hoarder, lol.
When was the last time you two hung out? bluewater in the crimbo holidays. bad day.
When is the next time you two will hang out? er, next weekend?
Does he normally explain to you how much you mean to him? no..
Do people think your relationship is cute or immature and unnecessary? immature. i like being immature, its more fun :D
Does he have any crazy ex's who are obsessed with him? he has ex's, some i know and they are pretty crazy in a fun way ;D but not obsessed with him
Do you have any crazy ex's who are still obsessed with you? why would they be obsessed with me, lol
Have you two ever broken up before? How many times, to be exact? yes, once.
Have you two ever had a pregnancy scare? no..he told me i was pregnant once. over xbox, as you do ;)
Do you two live with each other? non
Do you two share most of the same friends/aquaintences? yeah, hes friends with most of my friends, and i know some of his unit friendlings.
Are you jealous of any girls in his life and is he jealous of any guys? im not jealous because they're in his life. but i get jealous when people are prettier than me, god damn those godblessed bitches. ;D erm, if he got jealous of all the guys i talk to he wouldnt be able to keep up, im friends with a lot of guys, lol.
Has he ever said anything to you that just, made your heart melt? yes :D like i said, he can be enormously sweet sometimes <3
Does he like the people you hang out with? yea, they're his chums. :L
Do you like the people he hangs out with? i know a few. and they're okay. a few are kind of arseholes first impression. but then they turn out okay.
Has he ever spent the night at your house? yeah, he always seems to end up staying on the spur of the moment, lol
Have you ever spend the night at his house? no
What is something you love most about him? his clothes, i like stealing them {: + the hugs, gotta love hugs
Could you see yourself one day marrying him? eurgh, marraige. eurgh kids. eurgh general adult life. LET ME BE YOUNG ! :'(

stupid dryskin, whats up with the snowing?

2010-01-09T17:32:00.000Z

life is good good good.

everything sorted itself out, but in a good way this time. i must have got some good karma from somewhere because im pretty happy. confused and worried still, but happy.

i was looking at some myspace photos earlier today, dear god we look young in some of the photos, woaaaa. and im getting into twitter, LOL. twitter.com/noeynose - follow me ;D

the snow is annoying me now. i havent been outside in 3 days now and i feel like such a lameass. so it got us off school, am grateful for that but now its keeping me stuck inside like my room is some sort of jail :'( hopefully im seeing avatar tomorrow, but i have a really bad feeling the snow is gonna poo that up, goddammit.

i got this moisturizer for christmas. at first it was really good, good for, lets call them 'blemishes'. but its really badly dried my skin out and it looks all yucky. so for having no 'blemishes' ive got cracky skin. which hurts. if i find a moisturizer im happy with in my life i will die happy. they smell so good + feel nice, then the after effects are never nearly as perfect. goddammit. ive had to use like a load of e45 to moisturize my skin to happiness again, and it looks ugly. and im going out tomorrow. f*** it tbh.

i've been scrapbooking a lot, and im liking how thats come out. at first it was just gonna be the photos but then i added lyrics and little cutouts and stuff.

OH THIS DRY SKIN, :'( so not nice.

im glad i kept my 'book' because it entertains me to write a load of bollocks into it. idk, it just does.

fairwell from me, my laptop and my giant collage of a room.
(A)

confused

2010-01-06T21:15:00.003Z

so my dad just came into the room with hot wine. its actually quite nice, sweet. and warm. life is good {:

the snow failed me miserably, however school wasnt too bad today because it was kind of easy, except michael throwing a snowball at me, arse. hopefully it snows tons tonight, cos then no school tomorrow, and i can wear my new wellies. yeaaa (L)

i am left thoroughly confused. as always. and please no jokes about me being stupid, im confused but happy. i have been sticking the photos everywhere, in my new photoalbum/scrapbook, my actual photoalbum is filled up goddammit. and ofc my wall :') my room is turning into a giant scrapbook, i cant decide whether i like it or not. bit by bit im running out of wall space. and when i do, i will die :L

today i watched the top 20 tv shows of the noughties, am glad top gear came first, amazing show <3 and i agreed with a lot of the other ones in there tbh, good shows. {:

"She's got you thinking this is how you’re supposed to be. It's not. We're young. We’re supposed to drink too much. We're supposed to have bad attitudes and shag each other's brains out. We were designed to party. We owe it to ourselves to party hard. We owe it to each other. This is it. This is our time. So a few of us will overdose, or go mental. Charles Darwin said you can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs. That's what it's about - breaking eggs - by eggs, I mean, getting twatted on a cocktail of class As.

If you could see yourselves... We had it all. We have fucked up bigger and better than any generation that came before us. We were so beautiful... We're screw-ups. I plan on staying a screw-up until my late twenties, or maybe even my early thirties. And I will shag my own mum before I let her.... or anyone else take that away from me!"
i love nathan.

woody says shit?!

2010-01-02T20:02:00.004Z

omnomnomnomnom
today i woke up at 11 and didnt get out of bed until half 1 because i was laying there thinking about everything.
goddammit.
i never bothered to even get out of my pjs, spent some on the computer.
eurgh. jordan collier is very sick.
(15:01) Jordon:
So asd I was sayin earlier
U want someone who cares
who listens
wanan give us ago?
(15:02) englishcw,still.: you're actually asking me this now?!

i mean, who does that?! FUCKING HELL. seriously, i would NEVER go anywhere near you but you just made the whole thing worse with your stupid timing. not only are you insulting someone im missing as if they're worthless, and he's not, but you're acting like your mr perfect and just because your spending a bit of time listening im going to jump right in with you! really, no. well done you idiot, great timing. dick.

i watched toy story today, i swear woody said shit? like when him and buzz are in sids house, and sid is about to come in. he just goes 'shit', i think he did anyway. daymn! lol.

i have pizza for dinner tonight cos its saturday (really doesnt feel like a saturday..) and i dont even feel like that. eurgh. and its weird because all ive eaten today is a bit of cake and a glass of milk? and im not even hungry, |: weeeeeird.

i watched some gavin and stacey today, i love it, nessa/smithy<3 and i painted my nails, a metallic red. i like it :') im glad stacey is pregnant, eurgh i cant wait for the next series :D (A)

ima go. byeeeeeee {:

/:

2010-01-01T17:37:00.004Z

oh shit.

at least 2010 now has a completely clean slate.

at first i couldn't picture myself with you.
and now i can't picture myself without you.
funny how stuff changes.

happy new years to me eh.

HAPPY NEW YEAR BITCHES

2010-01-01T13:54:00.004Z

Romeo and Juliet is a widely known play about two ‘star cross’d lovers’ who fall passionately in love, then take their own lives. The plot follows two main characters, Romeo and Juliet, who are from two different families. The two families, the Capulets and Montagues share an ancient grudge between them, but this does not stop them falling for each other at first sight, and the play ends with them both tragically taking their lives as each think the other is dead. The play is drawn heavily upon fate, through the deaths, loves and coincidental meetings dotted throughout the play.
The play begins with a prologue detailing the basic plotline of the play. There are lots of clues and hints at the storyline, setting the scene for the audience. ‘Two households, both alike in dignity’ immediately lets the audience know the play is based around two families of the same wealth and social status. ‘In fair Verona, where we lay our scene’, they know where it is set, and being it Verona this gives a small outlook to the storyline. Verona is a very romantic city, with hot weather and [word here]. ‘From ancient grudge break to new mutiny’, so between these families there is a grudge going way back, but recently something has changed this, the eternal grudge has been disrupted. ‘A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life;’ is probably the key line in the prologue. It gives the whole key to the play, two people who met coincidentally, tragically taking their lives as they can not bare to live in a world without the other. So the audience have the setting of the play, the conflict between the two families and the tragedy. They are hopefully now engrossed into the play.

..and thats my essay.
daymn, i keep getting stuck and then thinking eventually i'l be bothered to do it. but there's two days left of the holidays, and now im panicking. so i'm doing it, struggling along..

last night was bloody amazing <3
i was a bit mopy for the first part for reasons im not saying on here. but i got cheered up as soon as i walked into kat's house, i love it so much. her parents were just like 'HAPPY NEW YEAR DUDES!' and then we were watching harry potter and the philospopher stone and talking along to it ! :L aah, good stuff (A) then i probably got really annoying to them constantly wanting to go on the computer because stuff happened and i was like :'( so sorry if that got annoying for you guys. then we were going on the wii, and i was 34 in my fitness age ;D god im amazing <3 lol, yes.
but it got to like 11.55, and we were like shiiiiiit, ran downstairs and turned on the countdown and were like madly running around everywhere, stupidly hyped up. and i sort of sorted something out, but idk whats going to happen there, but whatever will be will be i guess :) good ol' beatles.
then we watched carrie and got so terrifed that if we got off the bed she'd grab us, lol! aww, so good {: + inbetweeners as well ,
oh, such good quotes from that :')
FRIEND! FRIEND! FOOTBALL FRIEND! (Y)
and not actualyl sleeping until about half 5 because we were staying up talking :D
aww, i love you guys {:
HAPPY NEW YEAR BITHCES! goodbye noughties (N)

daaaaaaaymn, thankyous and 2009

2009-12-30T22:51:00.004Z

wellity wellity wellity
i sounded proper depressed this morning, apologies. i talked to some people (rosie,kathi,owain) and it made me feel better. thanks dudeys. i pretty much sorted it out in my mind. they got me looking at the good stuff instead of all the crap i've been focusing on since yesterday, and it made me realise i've been a completely ungrateful bitch. your still a dick, but everyone's fucked up in at least one way, me included (although lets not get into my flaws here, lol) and im gonna be grateful for all the stuff you are that i love.

so anyway, tomorrow is new years eve, i've already done all my 09 evaluation blogs, so im not gonna do all that again because i'l look silly, but i found a quiz, so im gonna do that :D

2009: In The Beginning.
Where did you go on New Years? nowhere, i stayed in :P
Who were you with? msn and myspace, oh the days of myspace :')
Did you kiss anyone on new years? no, :\
Did you make any resolutions?: yes,

2009: All about YOU
Did you change at all this year? YES, id say a lot. some good some bad.
Did you dye your hair?: nope
Did you get your hair cut?: i went from side fringe to full fringe many times :P, and grew my hair, still am (yn)
Did you change your style?: sort of? fashions have changed, so has my wardrobe with it.
Were you in school?: when i had to be
Did you have a job?: i did a paperround for a while, that ended. then i delivered some leaflets, then got a temp job in an indian. now im jobless again/:
Did you drive?: no, not old enough :P
Did anyone close to you give birth?: not really , not that i can think of
Did you move at all?: nope, never have. i love my house.
Did you go on any vacations?: LINCOLNLAND`!
Did you leave the country at all?: franceland, lille{:

2009: Your Love Life.
Did you break up with anyone?: no.
Did you meet anyone special?: yes i did, someone id known a while, but didnt know well. until this year obvs :P
Did you fall in love?: im not really sure, i did sort of. but i dont wanna be one of those people who uses the word love in vain, so yes and no :\

2009: Friends and Enemies.
Did you meet any new friends this year? indeedio, quite a few :D
Did any of your friendships end?: i drifted apart from rob:\ and probably some others
Did you dislike anyone?: there are always people i dislike, arseholes. :D
Did you resolve any fights?: not major ones
Who were your closest friends?: rosie, kathi, kat, sam, watkins, jack, owain(tho hes more a brother), matt, and for a while chris.=(STUPIDGREMLIN:@)
Did you grow apart from anyone?: rob. and chris.
Did you have any regrets when it comes to your friendships?:my mistakes make me who i am, if id never done something it could have messed something good up

1. Have you had any relationships this year? yes{:
2. Have you had your birthday yet? 2nd may, was so good!
3. Kissed two or more people in the same night? same night?! no
4. Been on a diet? meeer, go away please. yeah i have.
5. Pulled an all nighter? no, i always fall asleep eventually:P
6. Drank Starbucks? no, :P
8. Bought something(s)? lol, tons. :D love retail therapy tbh.
9. Met someone special who changed your life? yes, quite a few people tbh
10. Been out of the province? yesyes

What are you thinking about? sleeping, my cousins tomorrow, then staying at kats and slobbing out {:

Does your ex hate you? no, i've stayed friens with all of them, id hate to not

Have you drank alcohol this year? no (A) course not!

Would you get married if you could right now? no. :L

How did you feel when you woke up today? sad, lonely, angry, tired, crampy.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? i've got so good that even when i want to show them i cant.

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? depends how they broke it.

If you could change your eye color would you? no, i like my eyes

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? yes, we got through it, shes amazing ;D

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? long, can do more. but i always get the urge to cut it all off, but im not brave enough :P

Are you over the age of 25? nope.

How do you currently make your money? rentals, and gifts:P

Do you want to get married & have children one day? marriage, yes, children, hmmm

Which of your friends do you argue with the most? kathi, because we're both stubborn and wont give up :P

Have you kissed anyone in the last 4 hours? nope:\

How many texts are in your inbox? 272

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? owain does a lot cos hes amazing, and a couple of times from glen. and others have given me like the friendly 'ily' ofc :D

Who was your last text message from ? rosie:P

Who was the last person you rode in a car with? my dad, when my stupid bus didnt come

When was the last time you cried really, really hard? hmm, i cried a little yesterday. but really really hard? i dont remember, probably when my grandad died.

Who took your profile picture? me ;D

Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth? cry over the truth, least its real

What’s on your bedroom floor right now? duvet slippers, straighteners/curlers, camera, etc

Do you trust people too easily? sometimes.

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? sometimes.

Have you ever liked someone alot older than you? lol, no apart from celebrities xD

If you had a baby with the last person you texted, what would the baby' s last name be? lockett. but thats not possible..

How many people are you texting? none right now

Will you be in bed within twenty minutes? yeah, ima go bed after this me thinks

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had? dandelion and burdock, lol!

Could you ever forgive a cheater? right now id probably say yes. but it erally depends on the circumstances.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? owain, no, hes amazing!

Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? rosie, knows pretty much everything, sometimes more than i do.

Have you ever made out in a public bathroom? naah

Have you told anybody you loved them today? nope

Do you make every decision as if your parents are watching? no, id never have any fun if i did!
Have you ever gotten the butterflies? yes, they're amazing (L)

Do you like to run? not really. occassionally i get an urge for it, and at night i like running.

Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself? a few,

Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree? non

Do you get snow where you live? yeeees, normally every year

Do you believe in love? completely. never havent.

This year have you ever been heartbroken? its probably got a few bruises, but not broken yet

Are you afraid of commitment? no. not at all.

the line between love and hate is thin

2009-12-30T11:49:00.006Z

recently i've learned what the saying 'there's a thin line between love and hate' means. a lot. i always said to myself i wouldn't let anyone treat me like shit. but i still do. i know i'm nothing special and there are so many people out there better than me but why make it worse? i don't think you even care anymore. about me anyway. you taught me one thing at least. the best way to never be disappointed is to never expect anything. and i don't.
maybe i'm just being ridiculous because of that and maybe when that is gone it will go back because i wont be in such a shitty mood as i am now, and was yesterday.
the worst part of it all is that knowing if i did tell you everything, and not keep stuff inside you'd probably just say 'ollolol'. and even worse than that you wouldn't care anyway. i've become so good at holding my emotions in over the years, that sometimes even when i try and let them out they won't come. and that in itself saddens me.

yesterday wasnt my day. skipping out emotion wide stuff here, new look was too crowded for me to shop, the only top i found i liked was only there in size 16 and 18, there were no bread/pretzel/leons samples AT ALL, it rained so we couldn't go outside, i waited for two buses home and both didn't come so i froze while out there and was shivering until i fell asleep (but maybe this wasn't all about the cold), and to top it all off my fringe looked bad all day. fml. seriously.
although, i did get everything i wanted. photo albums, rechargeable batteries, a folio, a keyboard, and some cd's. a taylor swift one, which i have all the songs off of, but her songs always related to my life, especially right then. and its nice to have the lyrics and her thank you's in front of me. and a nickelback one, which i bought purely because i've wanted that album a while.

and then i've got english coursework, that, and the fact i really don't feel like getting dressed and therefore cant look in the mirror to deal with. woohoo.

bonnie was right, its funny how some songs can completely relate to how you feel.

tell me why - taylow swift
i need you like a heartbeat
but you know you've got a mean streak
makes me run for cover when you're around
and here's to you and your temper
yes i remember what you said last night
and i know, that you see
what you're doing to me
tell me why?
**
i'm sick and tired of your attitude
i'm feeling like i don't know you
you tell me that you want me then cut me down
i'm sick and tired of your reasons
i've got no one to believe in
you ask me for my love then you push me around.

damien rice - cannonball
Still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
Still a little bit of you laced with my doubt
Still a little hard to say what's going on
...
Stones taught me to fly
Love taught me to lie
Life taught me to die
So it's not hard to fall
When you float like a cannonball

taylor swift - cold as you
You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you
And I know you wouldn't have told nobody if I died, died for you

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day
Every smile you fake is so condescending
Counting all the scars you made
And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through
I've never been anywhere cold as you

the script - breakeven
and when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no.

pixie lott - nothing compares
They say if it doesn't kill you it'll make you stronger.
Oh, but I can't be without you any longer.
Everytime I let it go, baby it's you.
Nothing compares to you.
Nothing compares to you.

mayday parade - miserable at best
Because these words were never easier for me to say
Or her to second guess
But I guess
That I can live without you but
Without you I'll be miserable at best.

You're all that I hoped to find
In every single way
And everything I would give
Is everything you couldn't take
Cause nothing feels like home, you're a thousand miles away
And the hardest part of living,
Is just taking breaths to stay.

i really could go on and on and on with this. but i doubt you've even read to here. and i know you haven't read any of it, you dont care.
and im sorry that i sound so depressed. im not really, im strong [:

nine thirty fucking seven AM.

2009-12-29T09:37:00.002Z

euuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurgh
i knew we should have made the meeting time 1
i couldnt sleep until like 3, idk why, been happening the last few nights. just sleeping badly :\ which is okay if you get to have a nice long sleep once you've made it to dreamland. but i had to get up at 9.30 to get to stinking bluewater at 12. should have been 1.
and i have massive bags under my eyes. oh well, at least i can use this eyebag stuff my mum got me.

mental head list of what i need to buy
- photoalbum
- rechargeable batteries
- spend the new look vouchers <3 and the other vouchers..
- keyboard.
and browse the sales ofc ;D

and now to go get a ncie hot shower, because i've got that horrid shivery feeling you get when you've woken up earlier than you should have.
x

relatives, sickipedia and pants. :]

2009-12-27T22:31:00.002Z

well, the last few days i've done nothing. but i'm grateful for my laptop. if i didnt have it, i probably would have gone insane.

tomorrow i have to go and see my relatives (yawn) which means a lot of 'how are you' 'hows school'. im good + its good. what else am i supposed to say exactly?! however the food is always good so thats an advantage, and hopefully one of thems bought me a keyboard.., i really need it. my 'h' key is still gone, and my 'fn' key is also coming off. for some reason when glen came here a while ago and found this very entertaining, pretending his finger was in battle in a cod style fight or something, as the key flips up like a barrier. and they say im immature :L what does an fn key do anyway?! i do not know, maybe i'll google it..

sickipedia is love <3 so funny, i love you sam for showing it to me. i think my sister showed it to me years ago, but not i actually understand the jokes ;D

bluewater tuesday, need to get rechargeable batteries + a photoalbum. and i need to get as many pictures as possible to develop, more i do the cheaper it gets :D but im getting impatient because i want to start working sticking them all in. hopefully i can get a photoalbum in the sales, fingers crossed. (YN)

dad ordered a new washing machine, it should be here tuesday thank god. only a fridge to go.. my house is falling apart :L but my laundry basket is full, but luckily for me all my washing was done just before it stopped working ;D so i've still got plenty of clothes, most of my tops/pants/socks/trousers etc are clean, good for me!

i started my book. it entertains me in a strange im writing complete bollocks way. its probably not as 'interesting' to look at as glens, but hey, i dont swear as much. :P

so rosie got a new phone + called me today. id hate to live where she lives, no signal. in a strange trashy way i do love my house {:

so i think im done :P bye dudes. x

i know no-one reads these, but im bored :P

2009-12-26T21:51:00.002Z

When was the last time you had a real smile on your face? today. because of my new today, i love kids films :')

Has a boy/girl ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend for you? i dont think so.

Do you hate the person you fell hardest for? no.

When’s the last time you had a late night phone conversation? matt phoned me, waking me up ¬.¬ i grunted down the phone :L

Do you honestly believe that good things happen to those who wait? i believe in karma, but thats just silly. waiting doesnt do anything. obviously something good will happen eventually.

Do you want to see someone this very minute? yes please.

Do you trust all of your friends? most.

Are you happy with the way things are going? yes {: i like life atm. which means soon its all gonna crap up leaving me fucked.

Are you a forgiving person? im stubborn, but i normally forget. unless its big. then i grudge.

Do you have to check in with your parents before you go someplace? yes, if i didnt they'd phone and go 'where are you?!'

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? yes, its good because its a MANS POINT OF VIEW ;D

Describe how you feel about your life in the past month using one word: (L)

Would you like to go back and change any part of your life? not really, if i change anything it could mess stuff up in the future. my mistakes are part of who i am.

When will your next kiss be? soonish im hoping [:

Where were you at midnight? here. lol.

Would you hug the last person you hugged again? yes please, ! (:

Last person you saw other than your family? rosie/glen/kathi, when they ended up sleeping over after bluewater. last last is rosie, she was last to go :P

Will tomorrow be better than today? probably not, i have an essay to do :|

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you drank? pepsi

What does your hair look like right now? french plaity.

Is there a night you’d like to put on repeat, and live it forever? sort of, not specifically. but i'd like to repeat some cos they were fun xD

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? my uncle

Do you know anyone who doesn’t smoke pot? well yes, not everyone does.

Name a time you thought you were going to die? erm, summer camp, where i jumped off the leap of faith and had to let go :P terrifying stuff :')

Which of your friends lives closest to you? JAKEY. :D

If you found out you got someone pregnant, what would you do? id be quite worried. and amazed as i never knew i could do that!

What annoys you? when someone you want to speak wont speak first! + when they're typing for ages, then all you get is 'okay.'

Next vacation you’re going on? erm, idk. i said to my rentals that the next vacation they take i'd rather stay at home :L cue some good nights for me (A)

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? yes.

What was the last thing you ate? PIZZZZZZA <3<3<3

Ever sneak out the house? yes {: ima rebel

Last thing you purchased? would be bluewater, and all i bought was coke. so coke.

What’s your favorite non-alcoholic beverage? damn, non alcoholic¬.¬
erm, relentless :}

Ever dated a blond-haired, blue-eyed person? yes, am atm, well their eyes are greyey blue if that counts?

Do you ever lie about your age? yes, :P

Who was the last person you hugged? hmmm, glen?

Have you ever not been able to get someone out of your head? yes, it gets annoying.

What are you thinking about? this?

Does your ex hate you? no

Have you drank alcohol this year? obviously.

Would you get married if you could right now? no, thats not even legal !

How did you feel when you woke up today? amazed i'd slept that long.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? people say im not, but i am

Could you ever be friends with someone that broke your heart? yes, if i got over it. or if i didnt, i'd try and stay civil

If you could change your eye color would you? no, i like my eyes.

Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend? yes :\

Do you like to have long hair or short hair? long :) i always get urges to cut it really short, but im too scared :P

Are you over the age of 25? nope

How do you currently make your money? my mum. i've had jobs, i've got no job atm.

Do you want to get married & have children one day? marraige yes. having children terrifies me, i dont like young children, and i'd be a planet + labour +o( so children, not sure..

Which of your friends do you argue with the most? dont know, me and katherine i think. cos we're both stubborn. :P

Have you kissed anyone in the last 4 hours? nope

How many texts are in your inbox? i never get aruond to deleting them .. 234. lol

Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you? yes (:

Who was your last text message from ? dann hyett

Who was the last person you rode in a car with? my daddeh

When was the last time you cried really, really hard? :\

Who took your profile picture? me. yesterday {:

Would you rather smile over a lie or cry over the truth? cry over the truth. at least its real emotion.

What’s on your bedroom floor right now? straighteners, curlers, pizza box, sketchpad, slippers.

Do you trust people too easily? i guess. but i judge quickly as well

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life? yes, which means it will go wrong soon, because thats how it works

Have you ever liked someone alot older than you? no, except celeb crushes :P

If you had a baby with the last person you texted, what would the baby' s last name be? hyett

How many people are you texting? none.

Will you be in bed within twenty minutes? no

Could you ever forgive a cheater? yes.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? no, i dont really hate anyone i talk to.

Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you? yes, without her id be fucked up more than i am right now

Have you ever made out in a public bathroom? ..no

Have you told anybody you loved them today? not today no

Do you make every decision as if your parents are watching? ^o) no. life would be boring if i did.

Have you ever gotten the butterflies? i get them a lot, its nice :D

Do you like to run? at night i love to run. but i dont like competing cos im slow :L

Is there anyone that you care more about than yourself? sort of.

Do you put candy canes on your Christmas tree? no.

Do you get snow where you live? yaaaa, most years. just not on christmas :L

Do you believe in love? yes, the person who doesnt has a horrible life i would think

This year have you ever been heartbroken? no (YN)

Are you afraid of commitment? no, afraid of getting hurt because of a commitment, but commitment itself no

im bored,yeah.

2009-12-25T20:32:00.002Z

Was the person you last texted single?
naaay, shes with will

Do you get jealous easily?
yes. i get really jealous over peoples looks/figures/possessions alot.
:\

What are you currently waiting for?
GAVIN AND STACEY!
aww, i love it

Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
i try not to think about the past too much, only stuff that makes me feel happy
and thinking about the future worries me, so the present mainly :P

Is there anybody you wish you could be spending time with right now?
sort of, but im happy here ><

Do you have nice eyes?
apaz i have 'teddybear eyes'
i dont know :\

Have you ever received a love letter more than a page long?
nope. daymn!

If something was wrong, who is the first girl you would go to?
rosie , she'd know what to say to make me feel better

Who's thinking about you right now?
ermm, me? idk, no-one probably

Is this year the best year of your life?
no, has been okay but i've had better
but has had some pretty good stuff happen

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
jakey {: next door!

How do you feel about Diet Dr Pepper?
i feel very romantically towards diet dr pepper, if he were here right now, DAYMN! love in the making ;)

Do you go to the tanning bed on a regular basis?
ew no, i tan easily naturally + its bad for you isnt it?

Have you ever thought someone died, when they really didn't?
no,

Does your bedroom need cleaning?
i did it today xD i normally keep it tidyish and i vac all the time because i hate having a dirty carpet, but theres still some stuff that needs doing. it never ends :(

Flowers or chocolate?
Flowers, :)

Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast?
really slow?
im guessing, slow is nicer, its more special than doing it all in one go. but if you take too long, like you dont even hug the person for 3 months, then thats just ridiculous.
middle is best;)

Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex?
ofc
some of my best friends are boys, so much easier a lot of the time
+ of course, i hang out with the boyfriend as well {:
but i do love all my evans girls <3

Are you comfortable with your height?
yeah, i used to hate me height, but im growing to realise its perfect for me

Do you act differently around the person you like?
sort of, i always demand more hugs than when im with anyone else obvs :L
but im my complete self around them still

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
id hope so, otherwise there'd be a bit of heart break coming around :|.

Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
there are a few :)

Do you like thunderstorms?
yes, especially if im inside tucked up in bed

Do you think teenagers can be in love?
it depends how mature you are as a person, there are plenty of examples of teenagers in love. obvs there are some who are in 'love' with every week lasting relationship they have (which im very against) but teenagers can be in love.

How fast does your mood change?
extremely, i can change my mood just by thinking about something

Are there things that can't be joked about with you?
i get angered easily, but i can normally take a joke, i just get pissed off when it goes too far

What do you always take with you?
phone, phil + purse

When is your birthday?
may 2nd {:

Where is the weirdest place you have slept?
on the grass outside rosies house when me + glen werent allowed in. buti only fell asleep for like 10 minutes, so does it count?
also when we attempted to sleep four people in my single bed. that was weird.

Anything on your walls?
oh jesus where do i start
ok, going clockwise ;)
a crossstitch of a fairy thing my mum did, then 3 drawings, spongebob poster, rpatz poster + a load of scraps (including clothes tags, takeaway menu from sams, etc) and more drawings, spongebob calendar (soon to be waterskiing westies ;]), more collage, door, taylor lautner+rpatz<3, drawings, year 10 progress report, rolling stones mirror<3333 and we're done.

What do you bite more, your tongue, lip, or cheek?
lip.

Has a boy/girl called you babe/baby lately?
yes, then he gave me a 'nice milky kiss'

Is there something that you want to tell someone but can't?
not really. well sort of, but its not interesting :P

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
vaguely, i sort of have an idea

Does anyone know your passwords besides you?
some, i have to keep changing my fb one. ¬.¬

What is the last non-alcoholic beverage you had?
ribena {:

I bet you miss somebody right now...
kind of, not specifically, id like to be with my friends tbh

Would you ever date anyone your parents disapproved of?
yes, but my mum generally likes everybody and my dad just walks around cleaning up so i've never really had to :P

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
i would cry a lot, then use all my scout survival knowledge to survive, but turn mildy insane in the process.
yessssss :')

At this moment in time if you HAD to have someone's name tattooed on you who's would it be?
my cats, cos hed never do anything to hurt me. + if hes ever gone, (please no) then the tattoo would remind me of good stuff, hopefully.

Most memorable thing that's happened to you over the summer?
meeting dann/nafeesa/stevie etc + getting with glen

Has anyone called you perfect before?
yes. it wasn't good.

Do your best friends’ parents tend to like you?
yeah, but normally i get angry at myself for saying the wrong thing
but i dont think anyones parents hate me or anything

What’s your all-time favorite ROMANCE film?
Bridget Jones
{:

Are any of your friends taller than you?
sam is, and obvs loads of boys are taller than me

Do you prefer the ocean or pool:
pool, :D

Ever liked someone whose name started with a B?
nooope

What’s your favorite part of the song that you’re listening to?
you take my hand and drag me head first fearless
reminds me of happy stuff {:

Ever really cried your heart out?
obv, everyone has

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2009?
everyone changes, even if they dont realise it.

Is there a difference between love and IN love?
i cant see the difference really.
i guess in love is more relationships
and love is for your friends and family
and 'in love' is easier to fake.

Does it bother you when someone says they will call you and they don't?
yes.

Do you speak any other language other than English?
french, and teeny bit of japanese

Was 2008 a good year for you?
it was good from what i remember
so naive (Y)

Can you say the alphabet backwards?
slowly, but i can

Pen or pencil?
pencil, can draw better with pencils :D

Do you get bad headaches?
not really :\
only when im ill obvs, not like cos of noise

What's worse: liars or cheaters?
liars.

Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
i doubt it.

Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
id rather they didnt, would make your breath all yucky, and your teeth ugly, and just generally not nice.

What's usually colder, your hands or your feet?
cold feet as in the metaphor?
or in general, my hands. because my feet have socks on a lot.

Do you like competition?
im competitive, but in some things i worry about competition (relationship wise mainly) :\ but in sport, i love it.

Do you think two people can last forever?
yes. but more often than not they wont. no matter how much they want[ed] to.

Do you consider yourself lucky?
for a lot of things

Freedom or safety?
freedom, we can be safe, but we'd never have any fun.

Will you be in a relationship next month?
i hope so, i really hope so.

Your phone rings, what do you say?
depends on the person.

'09 :')

2009-12-23T20:34:00.009Z

so 2009 is ending, so here are my highlights.

a list (in no particular order) of my life this year.
-yog in the park
-paddling in the lakes at bluewater when it was really hot
-BROADSTAIRS <3, the first one. not the second, wasn't as good :P
-meeting owain
-larkfield + my first big mac
-starting walktall
-meeting dann/nafeesa/stevie/luke/'jesus' and all that lot
-and the forensics thing that got me there
-sleeping round catherines, and going to that beach place where we walked through all the warm clay and got amazingly dirty. then that little restaurant where we had some munch cottage pie. then that night, family guy and blomblom and pokemon matches, aah i loveyou :D
-meeting + becoming good friends with matt
-going bluewater with a really huge group
- & greenhithe park with a really huge group as well ;P
-my first yog (L)
- and moshing :P
-getting tipsy on my birthday at camar park. i loved that day, was so good
-screaming out katarina's window and scaring old men :')
-LINCOLN LAND <333333333333
-and 'the cheese shop' and the hats my mum got us and the really deep baths and all the dvd's and the burnt pizza and the hallucinating and the unsoundproof door and shopping and everything else we did there
-all the lunchtimes over summer where i'd sit with chris on the hill watching everyone play sports and stuff. they were the days , before you changed.
-redgrave charity week, the chip in challenge xD
-town with sam/kat/stefan/george, was such a good day. taking pictures in that little kids thing then meeting that amazing little kid (A) and wearing george's jumper and mine and katarinas 'freerunning' where i bruised my leg :P
-glen coming over then rosie inviting herself and ending up having them both sleep round. + then all 3 of us sleeping in my single bed , and the youtube convo with nathan :L
-the day with owain, sitting at the top of the minnis with him playing guitar and singing
-sams nan giving us beer with lime in, nom (A) + all the limes falling down and us getting annoyed about it :P
-all our stories where we take it in turn to write a bit :L
-me and kathi going to owains and me playing skate 2
-rosie sleeping over on halloween, and me dragging her out
-going to bluewater then ending up going back to rosies. but me and glen not being alowed to go in, so having to stay outside for ages in the cold ;D then going in and watching crappy telly, 'im feeling your bum'.
-the prom fireworks, going on the dodgems, + me and kat going on the ride no-one else would
-sams new house, jumping in the leaves
- and of course, the amazing guy in the chippy, who gave us drumsticks (A)
-making the cake, and writing 'zoe smells' on it
-then the one me and sam made, and just wrote crap all over
-seeing new moon on katherines birthday
-the double date with me/glen + kathi/will, successfully setting matt+sam free from owain ;D seeing fame and it being really crap. but the popcorn wars during it, and then sitting for hours in the spinny chairs never realising owain was watching us :O
-meeting miss watkins ;D
-all of our p.e lessons :L
-'i dont care about what stuff looks like, i dont care about quality' '..but they're fake.'
-'im not actually fat, its just this uniform. in my normal clothes i look skinny!'
-metting hannah phillips :)
-snow day, me/matt/kathi going to rosies house
-katarinas birthday, the amazing sleepover. me falling asleep during chicago then waking up during team america. pippa coming down while we ate loads of ben + jerrys, then doing the attractiveness test. and the cookie cake <3
-bluewater to give out christmas presents, meeting 'the dick' then rosie/glen/kathi ending up sleeping over, watching home alone. then attemping to sleep all 4 of us in my bed, giving up and going downstairs, then being really uncomfortable down there anyway. then everyone looking dead in the morning and my mum telling glen he 'looks terrible' LOL. and rosie having to rewrap all her presents :L
-me sleeping over sams new house and me playing scrabble (A) and going out in the morning in the snow :P and then making chip sandwiches
-bowling on sams birthday (Y)
-tagging nipple!
-jakey moving next door
-mine and rosies r.e + i.t lessons of doing basically nothing.
photography, making pinhole cameras :P
-the trailer ride at broadditch farm, us all being really terrified
-kathi/will, bonnie/chris, hannah/diljit, sam/marcus, nafeesa/dann, rosie/alec, sammie/olly, and obvs me/glen.
{:
-english lessons ;) ;) ;)
-me and sam wanting to see tormented, so having my sister come with us to get tickets :L
-the first time me and rosie walked him and us talking for ages about how much we hated bobrik
-and all the other times we've ended up walking home :P then me going to hers and playing xbox
-me and rosie and dann, and going blackberry picking, and the sitting around listening to music and eating blackberries, then him tryna get us lost
-when me and sam go to bluewater and just walk around all day eating samples
-after katarinas race, eating that barbeque
-all the times i back to katarinas after walktall, watching harry potter and saying the lines in silly voices, and THE OLD PEOPLES HOME SHOW!
-paul buying bread in bromley, then all of us stealing it, then me and dann buying a loaf of tiger bread and feeling really fat because of it.
-the longfield festival, getting my cactus 'dann' and dann getting 'zoe' and rosie getting like 10 cacti :L
-LILLE! the big ferris wheel, the hypermarket and me and sam not realising the selfpay were only credit cards.., the bus journey there, the ferry!, my muffin, all the weird french people, ah, such a good day :)
-the prom fireworks , and then the sparklers not working (N)

i dont know if thats everything, but its a good list. 2009 has been a good year yes, been some bad stuff in it, hasnt been the best year. but i've made some amazing memories, and met some amazing people, alot of people have got together (inc me! @@), so all in all its been a good year (Y)

now for a montage of pictures {:

in 8 days the noughties end, and ima miss them (U)

2010 wants + the noughties are over :[

2009-12-23T19:49:00.003Z

:')

so anyway, its the 23rd of december and i got up at 1 today. i was amazingly tired, i would have stayed in bed longer but my sister was playing her radio really loudly and it woke me up ¬.¬

so, i know its a tad early and everything, but im bored. so i've decided to get my things i wanted to do this year list off myspace (;]) and see how i've done {:
so here goes.

sleep under the stars
~~boy shopping with 2 different people~~
~~eat something unusual~~
~~roll down a big hill~~
~~not eat ANY chocolate (inc. chocolate flavored things) for a fortnight~~
~~finish making that bag~~
~~finish that relentless can drawing~~
camp out over summer
~~BEACH<3~~
~~get GREEN glue this time~~ (i stole some off my sister, i still 'got' it so it still counts. {:)
~~new hard drive~~
see a film in 3D
~~use some of that bath stuff i've had for f**king ages~~
complete desperate housewives game
~~watch the whole of series 2 skins (OMG CHRIS DIES:'( im well gonna miss that cast)~~
~~new pair of jeans~~
~~touch phone ?~~
~~do/make something i'm proud of~~
~~get into a HAPPY relationship~~
~~SAVE!!!!~~
customize an item of clothing
~~get the coloured tights i want~~
~~watch a load more horrorsssss~~
~~get sims 3 (:~~
~~new green day album!~~
~~meet someone new~~

so im not sure that was my list for 2009, but it was things to do by christmas. so its good enough ;D

so heres my list for 2010.
[there are some from the list above if i didnt do it last year]

get some boots
keep my 'book' up for at least 4 months, if not the whole year
get a photo album
& get a load of photos developed
read all the house of night books
update my room walls
fill up my sketchpad
see a 3d film (TOY STORY PLEASETH!)
have a relationship longer that 6 months
change my hair again
get rechargeable batteries
see owain more, it sucks now he works saturdays :\
improve photography
boy shopping, and find many numero onche's ;D
improve art + get a good grade (A)
make jack come shopping with me
get a keyboard
go ice skating
say less stupid stuff
new laptop, [hoping]
be in something official at walktall (pantomime/filming etc)
improve my acting/lying skilllllllz
achieve my end of year 10 targets
have 1000 songs
get a job
read the jeremy clarkson book (A)
have an ice age marathon
go to rosies and have a home alone marathong :P
more clothes? :P
hook rosie and katarina up! ;)
stay up to date with coursework
make dann healthier
+ meet up with the human dann more as its been a while
lose a bitta weight
camp out over summer
go to broadstairs in the summer again :')
get a boots card

will probably add more when i think {:

so anyway, the noughties are now over :( it sort of feels like this is now the end of my childhood, i dont like it.

x

monday tuesday

2009-12-22T17:25:00.003Z

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaye

i had a good monday/tuesday.

monday involved bluewater {: which was good, but there was NOWHERE to sit down at all, which meant we got bored quite quickly. but i got presents, which was good [: i am currently reading the jeremy clarkson book which i laaaav <3 i love him.
then we went to the bus stop with rosie , katherine , AND glen. because somehow whilst i was daydreaming they'd decided they were sleeping round mine, lol. which turned out to be really fun (A)
although sleeping wasn't very comfortable. attempted to sleep all 4 people in one bed. which worked, but 2 people were always comfortable and two always not. so we went downstairs and it was freezing and uncomfortable. i slept about an hour, and man have i got a sexy morning face ;)

anyways, after i got them freaks out of my house, i did a load of tidying (they made a lot of mess ¬.¬) then did a bit of drawing in my NEW sketchbook (;D) and found my PIKACHU CANDY WAS PRETTY MUCH ALL GONE. pigspigspigs. so i went onto youtube + discovered glen had stayed signed in, so made him a video telling him he is a pig. :D because i am an absolutely lovely person.

and he got me a book, so i'm going to work on that. i think i will be good at it as i get a lot of word vomit and a collect on a lot of crap i can stick in {:

and that was my last two days [: x

stupid, cuss, drowzee

2009-12-17T21:22:00.003Z

sup.
im going to go straight into it, no intro.

im sick of being stupid and fat. you all think your real original taking the piss, but believe me - i've heard all your shit before. i've heard the blonde jokes and i like them. today i got;
'im listening'
'listening to what, the air flowing between your ears?'.
..aha

yupp, you think you're so damn original, believe me i've had 'your dumb' told to me in every single way. and no matter how hard i try i cant throw off the rep. in primary i was one of the smartest + now look at me. one of the dumbest. everythings gone downhill. you watch me get annoyed and tell me 'you're academically smart but just got no common sense'. right okay. so i'm in top set for everything, + you think i'm 'academically smart' yet you still think im stupid. actually what have i got to do? i don't think before i speak because im too lazy (don't even go to the lazy cuss' here) and if i did i'd get nowhere in life cos i'd never talk. i get it, im not the smartest brick in the wall. but do you really have to throw it in my face every moment? the fat things not so bad tbh, cos i can overcome that mentally because i can pretend you don't mean it in my head, then start a brand new diet and shiz.

and even when i get myself into a good mood where im happy and singing etc. you people know exactly how to fuck it out. i mean, i get into a good mood, its all good. and you immediately take it away so im pissed off, angry at you, and angry at life. and theres nothing i can do about it. you just do it, i dont know whether it's deliberate or you don't actually mean to, but i guess i got to live with it. just because you do something doesn't mean i should, and if i don't then what i do is wrong. just because i don't want to give you things you don't deserve when i know you'll NEVER return the favour doesn't make me selfish - just sick of you. just because i play sports and want to win doesn't mean im aggressive - just because i tackle and intercept doesn't mean im 'too competitive' ITS THE POINT OF THE BLOODY GAME, to get the ball! watch sport, THEY TRY AND GET THE BALL. it's how it works. just because you don't doesnt mean im too aggressive. and i will stare into space and blank you all i want thankyou very much.

this blogs kind of delayed, its not as angry because i was pissed off when i got him. well not pissed off, just in a contemplatey mood. and then i got home, had some cheese on toast, watched an old 8 out of 10 cats...then fell asleep. i woke up at 8 o clock really drowsy, and two hours later here i am xD

drowzee, oh how that brings back memories.

anyways, the snow has stopped which im thoroughly dissappointed about, but form party tomorrow and i have a pizza in the over, and bit of gavin and stacey / true blood in 5, so its all good [:

i feel i've forgotten something i was gonna write about, so when it comes to me i'l blog :P

stupid people and good school days

2009-12-16T20:44:00.002Z

i am confused
YES I KNOW, i don't need you're 'well there's a surprise' 'that doesnt happen often!' comments please.

basically, why do people hate people for no reason? i mean, yes we all judge and shizzle, but why feel a need to actually take the time purely to produce bad feelings that will just lower your mood and focus them on someone who deserves nothing, none of it. you'll just put yourself in a bad mood dear, and then it will probably make you worse off because of it. because if someone doesnt like me/you, tbh get over it. grow to like people, and if they've done NOTHING to you in the first place, why even bother?

anyway, today was actually rather good. triple art, finished my after final peice or whatever im supposed to call it. which was basically where i had to take something i liked from my final peice and experiment with it. i know, complicated but i understand what im on about :') i had to experiment with lace (god that sounds bad..) and it came out all gothicy, so i drew this scary frieky woman covering her face, and shes got some waaaaaay freaky hands :L
so now i've done that we're on popart, so i did a roy lichenstein, of a fist pointing. quite easy, but thats why i chose it xD im not good with detail :\ and now it's the holidays + i took my art book home, so im free to do some paintings in it, woo ! {:
and media was eaaaaasy, me and rosie just making our trailer, came out well ;D and the french film in french, which i actually understood. (it had subtitles which i was reading, but shhhhh). strangely, it was an okay film xD
double science tomorrow, and they never let us off work :| but english we're watching romeo and juliet, well we were. they are kind of weird, thinking that touching hands is like kissing. and then shes married at like 14 :| and her boobs were SPILLING out of her dress and one point, not good to watch.
but sad at the end :\ i mean, it just emphasizes that everything in life is down to so little. two [fictional, i know] people died, where if romeo had arrived 5 MINUTES later they'd both have lived. i've had buses more than five minutes late, imagine what that could have caused for the other people on the buses! mymy, so much based on so little..

and p.e tomorrow, which is not good :\ make us go outside i bet, even though its like -3. BUT, if it snows enough maybe i wont even have to get out of bed! hopehopehope.
then friday, last 2 periods are form party, and ASSEMBLY. pointless assembly. i mean, i already know what they're gonna say.
while you're opening your presents, think of the children in africa
which is sad i know, but its every year ¬_¬ and it really puts a downer on a happy atmosphere.
BUT THEN ITS THE HOLIDAYS.
saturday is yog, possibly bluewater before? monday im getting my haircut, if im in the mood get my full fringe back ;D then bluewater, giving out presents. i dont know whther i'l want to open them there and then, or wait til christmas. such a hard choice! :(

wow, that was a long and pointless blog :L

i love walktall, christmas be near

2009-12-15T16:42:00.002Z

had a good day at school, watched romeo and juliet. how sickeningly cute¬_¬
am now at walktall with my bud katarina, on ze computers before our acting class starts ;D good times [:
she has a really bad b.o problem though, i can smell her really really badly, yuckyuck!
we had a little dance to pirates of the caribean a few minutes ago, then we did the cancan. we got dancing skills, yes bei.

IT IS THE LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL.
WINWINWINWINWINWINWINWINWINWIN.
it is almost christmas :')
i am so excited! wooooooooooooo [:
i've got everyones presents, but i officially have no money:\ daymn
thats basically it, i need to go, i believe we will be starting soon and i want to get back to the rave that appears to be going on in the theatre with pete and the emily's.

NEW MOON, TAYLOR LAUTNER!<33333

2009-12-14T16:11:00.001Z

i saw new moon yesterday, omg taylor lautner was just the most hottest thing i've ever seen in my whole life. hotter than fire. :)
everytime he came on the screen me and katarina would just be looking at the screen like "PHWOAR!" and then robert pattinson's burger nipples :') he still looked quite fit though, but NOTHING on taylor lautner. i seriously can not understand why bella doesn't just ditch old burger nipples (HE'S 102 YEARS OLD, PERV!) for the sexy werewold :P mmmmmm, noms.
;D

christmas shopping

2009-12-12T19:22:00.000Z

it is the 12th of december, which means its halfway to christmas ;D i am completely sorted presentwise. i went to bluewater today and got the last of them, am so relieved (A)
however i want it to come quick because my room is tiny and they are under my bed, and look untidy. :P and the pile keeps collapsing, which is annoying me.
i hate christmas crowds though, i was shopping today as i already said, and it was bloody packed. and everyone was walking SO SLOWLY. i wanted to push them, lol. but i was happy all day because loads of places did food samples. leon's were doing them, the pretzel stall as well, and the bread stand, but that always has them :P and i saw a girl with a top with nom written on! i was so jealous, it was the most amazing top in the whole world and i want it yes i do!
i saw loads of people i knew as well, which t'was good [: it's nice bumping into people, lots of huggles and chitchat, iloves.
is my friends birthday tomorrow, am seeing new moon. i hopes it will be good, because i do love jacob <3 so daymn hot! mmm, QUALITY LUSHNESS. lol :')
must dash, wanna see the x factor final. idk who i want to win though, because i love olly + stacey + joe! damn! originally i wanted jamie or jedward to win, but they're out :P i know loads of people hated jedward but i actually loved them, they were so funny!! xD
and i want ice age 3 on dvd. i love ice age. AND I WANT TO SEE TOY STORY 3. oh so many wants :') i will make someone see toy story 3 with me, i will i will. am immature, i am, but its all good :')
besides, i gotta live fully, and try to forget about that romeo and juliet essay that i need to do...the one that sounds really hard. hmm... :P

art and christmas

2009-12-09T21:41:00.000Z

i am sick of being an idiot. i always say stupid stuff and people laugh at me and frankly im kind of bored. i need to smarten up, or im going to get nowhere because no-ones gonna take me seriously :\
on the brighter side its wednesday which means i had triple art. im ahead, have finished the stuff you have to do and am now experimenting. i like what im doing, but i get so frustrated when i mess a painting/drawing/general peice of art up. which i do regularly, because my 'style' of art is really rough. sometimes too much so that what i create is just a mess.
also, CHRISTMAS. it feels so close :') i have pretty much sorted everybodies presents out, going into town tomorrow to completely finish them, but im really excited now! lol, i want this week over because then it will be the last week of school. which basically means loads of film watching and stuffs :P easy, yes.
my room needs a vaccuum, and i came on here to delay that but now i must go because i am sick of looking at carpet with little bits of tinsel everywhere. glittery in a horrid messy way. lol, x

injection :|

2009-11-30T21:04:00.000Z

had the hpv vaccine today :|
+ the day started really badly, was raining buckets so by the time i'd run to the bus stop my feet were drenched, and stayed that way all day. -___-
then we went into the hall, and got sent away because the school were behind, then went back, waited for a bit, then had to come back an hour later because of break and, well they were behind. im not scared of injections, but soon as i got to the front row i was overwhelmed, and shaking really badly :| plus i was watching everyone come out crying. which isnt exactly reassuring.
then i got to the nurse, and she was the one one i didnt want. being zoe, id worn a longish sleeved shirt, so she made my undo half the buttons :| which, well made me feel slightly uncomfortable. then she asked me what i want for christmas? which is supposed to distract me but was so damn feeble and obvious what it is. i felt it go in, but until like the end of school i was alright, bit drousy though. now my arm is all achy. + hurts when i straighten it. and theres another 2 to go, just for HPV. and i've got tetanus and stuff as well :\ by the end of next year i bet i have no arm or something..

"i love you" ..yeahright.

2009-11-26T17:29:00.000Z

i really hate when the words "i love you" are being chucked around like nothing. i always see 'couples' go out for a day, and be all "i love you so much bla bla" and they always break up like a week later. wow, obviously you really loved that person.
not only does it make you a liar, but it makes you just plain annoying. you should mean it when you say it, you shouldn't just say it because its 'natural' to say it when you're in a relationship. because its not. wait until you actually mean it, then when you say it you will actually FEEL something. if you loved someone, you'd actually be a little bit upset when you finished you know? i mean, if one of your friends you say 'love you' to died right now, you'd be sad right? see, if you love someone then you actually need the person, and would feel something when you broke up.

so my main point, don't say 'i love you' for no reason when you don't. if you love the person, fine. if they mean little to you, just don't say it until you mean it!
it bugs me.

aaaah, exams

2009-11-14T17:05:00.000Z

all my teachers are ill. well apparently '40%' are, and this means that year 7's 8's and 9's get to have a day off. and us being 'the most important' with all our exams and shizzle coming up have to stay at school all week.
i also had a maths exam friday, it was pretty easy. i'd been revising lots so i did know most of it, but one question made no sense to me at all. so i guessed, and think i got it right - if everyone else who thought they knew what it was were right. which hopefully they are [: so im just praying i did good in that, my predicted grade for maths is an A, which sounds very scary if you ask me. and its all so complicated :|
i have my science exams next friday, im revising like crazy but its all so hard. biology is horrible, it's so hard to remember all the names and crap. plus all the words sound the same. but im hoping if i revise enough i'l do okay...

it's veery windy today + i like it :) i love running in the wind, because it all rushed past you and you feel like you're running really fast. which i don't normally get since im a terrible runner, i'm so slow! and i can't go long distances either so, i just suck all round at running :P but i love wind and thunderstorms and stuff, especially if your inside wrapped in your duvet and you can just hear it all outside. it makes me feel really walk and cosy :P maybe im just sad..
tomorrow im probably gonna stay in, nothing planned..

at my school everyone's on about MW2. now, i dont play these games. my friend has an xbox, and she likes it mainly because she likes takling to people. but APPARENTLY the graphics are 'amazing' and its 'well good!' personally i can't see the attraction to endlessly shooting people, no matter how realistic the people im shooting are, or how detailed the buildings are. but it amazes me that about a month or two ago, i would have known nothing about it, not even what the hell cod was. now i vaguely know what im talking out. and i've been listening to party in the usa, and loving it. this is whole new low point in my life, i'm so lame i surprise myself ;D

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

2009-11-06T21:47:00.000Z

so, tonight was fireworks night, so i went into town/prom to watch the fireworks [: it started out all good, id gone to my friends before we went, and we went to get ze bus, and then a load of (16 year old?) guys got on, and started talking to us. well not, talking, but one went;
"my mate here, thinks you three are really pretty." then asked us how old we are, and it was like, lol. :P then they got off the bus :( and i must say, they weren't to bad looking ;) and then we got into town, and got off the bus.
it was spitting at this point, and we nearly got run over a million times. and it would be me who VERY NEARLY got run over by a bus. very nearly. terrifying experiences.
we went to meet other people. as it always is with these things, there was a themepark like thing. all flashing lights + really high prices, yet we go on them anyway :P then we heard the fireworks and walked down right to the prom, it was so crowded. and it started to rain. of all nights ¬_¬ why not yesterday? i mean sure, that would have ruined official fireworks, but still. :P
i mainly remember standing there as the rain got heavier, in the dark under our umbrellas with me drinking my soupy, and all i could think of was 'i want a huggle.' not a pleasant thought, made me feel really lonely. + there were two couples with us, so the feeling intensified ;D its the kind of night where you want your boyfriend to huggle and steal hoodies off of, and he wasn't there :( deary me. although i'l give credit where its due i shall, the fireworks were pretty good ;D all nice and colourful. i must say though, i dont like the ones that don't go bang much, they just dissapear, how boring! but i love the really big ones <3>
then we all went to get picked up, and the rain got heavier, like really heavy :( spoiling the night, woo. i wanted the huggle even more :P we tried to light some sparklers, fail. they wouldn't even spark a little :(
i do love fireworks night, but not when it rains and all you want is a huggle and a nice hand to be holding :)
although i am glad i went, better than staying in!
and now, here i am in my pjs, wrapped in my lovely duvet with a nice hot water bottle. Extremely tired though, early night tonight? please!
so that concludes today [: