do you really want to be forever young?

i saw what bonnie put.

I want to be who I used to be.
I want to live how I use to live.
I want to have who I used to have.

i totally agree so badly. why did everything have to change? karma bites ass. people change, situations change but why can't the things you want to stay the same, well, stay the same? lifes a bitch for sure. when one door closes another one opens but what if the door didnt want to close? does it have to close so the other one gets a chance, or could it not stay open, the door to the path of the stuff that should have stayed the same? eggs have broken, omelettes are being made surely, but how long until i get to taste the eggy goodness? i want what i had then, now, and at the same time what i've got now. its all so confusing. bonnie's right ;D i want to be back young again, before everything got complicated. lifes not simple anymore. i want it to be. but that doors closed. to open the one to being grown up and mature, and learning, but i want to shut that for now and reopen the other one, but thats not possible because these doors are hypothetical and not actually closable or openable. hmm. too much changes in the process of growing up. change is good they say, but really, is it? if what was there before was good enough why does change have to come along and open doors that i never wanted opened?

oh you pooface stp blaming me like its my fault, you like blaming. nothings ever your fault eh slag? i havent eaten that much so the foood is there, right in front of your eyes. but no, everything for you has to be jumping up going 'HEY IM HERE!' for you to even notice it, let alone observe it. for once look for yourself. like the rest of us have to.

im ranting about silly little things now but im in that kind of mood.

am really looking forward to tomorrow ;D but the cd went weird so now ive gotta redo that, and ive still gotta revise, i should be tired by now. but im not. i need to go to bed so im bright and early for the exam, but i know if i gob ed now i'l just be lying there until im tired anyway. however i am thirsty and may go and microwave some milk, apparently thats good for helping you sleep. i did my nails with these little gem things, i cant figure out if they look okay or not.

tomorrow after school is gonna be busy busy, get home about quarter to 4, shower, out the shower by quarter past, washing up, 4.25, get ready, pack stuff, go. i better make it on time. must remember the bus is at 1753. so after a shower i gots about an hour and a half to squeeze everything in. BUT NO MORE REVISION. by then the test will be done, failed or not. sigh.

i tidied a bit today. i got rid of quite a lot of stuff which i am happy about. my shelf looks better now. but im not getting rid of clothes. i love all my clothes. and what happens when the fashions repeat themselves? yes, you didnt think of that did you? muahahahahahah?!